Talk:Kreia/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Dr. Kadzi (talk · contribs) 22:38, 19 August 2015 (UTC)

Planning to review. Kadzi (talk) 22:38, 19 August 2015 (UTC)

First Impressions

Hello there! Upon a first read, I've picked up on only one spelling error:

1. The word: Sympathetic is spelled wrong. ( Introduction, third paragraph: Avellone felt he failed in creating a "sympatheic" Sith Lord )

2. A contraction is used in the article that IS NOT part of a quote : "doesn't". Please consider changing it to does not.

Changed these. – The Millionth One (talk) (contribs) 00:24, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

All grammar and other spelling appears to be perfect, as a Brit I picked up that 'favorite' was spelled in the American way, however, this is no problem and you should keep it how you have written it! (Americanised / English words are not a problem)

(NOTE: The bot did appear to pick up some English/Americanised inconsistencies, please check over this: • Please make the spelling of English words consistent with either American or British spelling, depending upon the subject of the article. Examples include: favorite (A) (British: favourite), saber (A) (British: sabre), realize (A) (British: realise), criticise (B) (American: criticize), ization (A) (British: isation), grey (B) (American: gray).)

Other than this, I believe that the article subsequently passes number 1 of the article criteria: Well Written However, in the introduction, I believe that some of the information may be better suited in the "Concept and Creation" section of your article - especially Paragraph 2 of the introduction!.

I also believe it satisfies the second criteria: Verifiable with no original research I do believe it satisfies section 3 also, broad in coverage. However, be careful to not stray off too far into other directions. (see section - In the sith lords) Article is very neutral, well done! Stable by default I'm also enjoying the Images and their captions. Well done!

For now, I'll let you mull over any changed and ask any questions. On Hold! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Dr. Kadzi (talk • contribs) 23:10, 19 August 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for the look-over. I'm a Brit myself -- though I tried to go with American spelling because of Obsidian Entertainment being an American developer (and, I mean, ultimately you've got to call it a lightsaber, so it can get weird going British English here). Which would probably explain the inconsistencies, it's pretty easy to slip back British spellings. Ah, well. I'll go through again and try and make sure everything's consistent.

With the second paragraph in the lead, I was essentially trying to give a general summary of the character's creation/development, though I may have gone a bit too in-detail. Not sure. At a bare minimum, I'd probably want to mention Sara Kestelman and Chris Avellone. – The Millionth One (talk) (contribs) 00:24, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

@Dr. Kadzi: Its been eleven days since this review has started and its still on hold. Is there plans to continue the review? GamerPro64 16:09, 30 August 2015 (UTC)

Note: I'm still up for a review, but in a few days I might be slower than otherwise for a while. Still should be able to work on it, though. – The Millionth One (talk) (contribs) 14:49, 5 September 2015 (UTC)

I'll take the review. While I do not see lots of problem with the article, I found that it has used a lot of quotations, to a point that there are too many of them. Besides that I found no other problem that is particularly obvious. Paraphrase some of them and I'll have my second look at the article. AdrianGamer (talk) 14:41, 14 September 2015 (UTC)

Thank you, and on it. – The Millionth One (talk) (contribs) 15:39, 14 September 2015 (UTC)

I had a go paraphrasing the Conception and creation/Character sections. I can cut further for them, if you'd like. I'll do a run through of the Reception section later -- it's a section I'd expect to have more quotes than usual, but I can still see bits where, yeah, a paraphrase would be better. – The Millionth One (talk) (contribs) 01:03, 15 September 2015 (UTC)

@AdrianGamer: I've tried to lower the amount of quotes in the article. Would appreciate another look when you have the time. – The Millionth One (talk) (contribs) 12:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)

I have looked at the article once more and I do not found any severe issues. One small suggestion is that you can merge the "other appearance" section to the "In The Sith Lords" section then rename the entire section to simply "Appearances". The Best Character quote from GameSpy is not really necessary, and it does not really looked nice. However, the article meets the standard of a even without the implementation of these suggestions. Kreia was promoted to . Congratulations. If you want to bring the article to the next level, or simply to continue to improve the article, you can have a look at this tool. It shows the quotes you can paraphrased. AdrianGamer (talk) 13:25, 17 September 2015 (UTC)