A fact from Jacquie Sturm appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 3 April 2021 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:
Did you know... that Jacquie Sturm was the first Māori writer to have her work published in a New Zealand anthology?
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@Chocmilk03: You've asked for an assessment. As you will have seen, I've made a few tweaks and moved the article to its common name. It's a solid piece of work and it's easily B class. I encourage you put this up for Good article review. That's a formal but straightforward process. It means that once nominated, somebody will come along and work their way through the criteria, give feedback, suggest amendments, etc. If the reviewer is happy at the end of the process, it gets assessed as GA. I see two weaknesses with the article:
it's lacking media files; I'll have a look to see whether any photos of Sturm are out of copyright
@Schwede66: Wonderful, thank you! Especially for the page move - I was tempted to do that, but didn't have the confidence. :D One small (odd) thing is that the DNZB template does not seem to work for Sturm - use of the template takes you to a 404 despite having the correct ID. (See Millar, Paul. "Sturm, Jacqueline Cecilia". Dictionary of New Zealand Biography. Ministry for Culture and Heritage. Retrieved 6 November 2020.). I'll therefore change it back if that's okay (and add a comment to the article to explain why the template is not being used).
Do let me know if you have any luck finding a photograph -- there are a lot of photos of her out there, but I couldn't find any that were obviously public domain -- and I'll do some additional research on her second marriage, before trying out the GA review process. It'd be great to have a high quality article on her. Thanks again, really appreciated! Chocmilk03 (talk) 10:48, 7 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Have added photos; not the most brilliant one but it'll do. I could not find the original in the Hocken Collection; that might well be higher resolution. My guess is that we are looking at 1955 based on John Baxter being born in October 1952. And yes, I had noticed that the DNZB link wasn't working. I've notified Te Ara and given that it's an issue unique to this bio, the problem is at their end and it should be easy enough for them to fix. Schwede6619:10, 7 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks Nurg, grateful for the feedback. I have made a first stab addressing the overlinking and will take a further look later and see if I can identify/fix other problems. If there is any other category of error that can easily be highlighted, do let me know. Cheers. Chocmilk03 (talk) 11:18, 9 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Schwede66: Woohoo! Thanks very much for your encouragement and assistance, really appreciated. I am going to have a go at putting it up for a DYK entry shortly (another new process for me!) and will welcome any input you might have on that. Cheers, Chocmilk03 (talk) 07:52, 15 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Hi, so the reason for the Medium article being cited is because it includes an image of this letter by Janet Frame, which has been quoted. The letter is described in the Medium article caption as "research photo from Spiral collection in the Alexander Turnbull Library; reproduced by permission of the Janet Frame Literary Trust". The author of the article, Marian Evans, was a member of Spiral Collectives and has also written this article for a reputable source about the history of the organisation. Does that help address the concern? Thanks, Chocmilk03 (talk) 20:52, 7 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Per WP:LEDECITE, are the citations needed in the lede?
Thanks for that link! I don't think any of the citations are needed; none of the points made are controversial. Removed accordingly.
"Sturm was born in 1927" Is there a reason not to give the specific date in the body?
Nope, added specific date.
"was raised by her maternal grandmother Tautokai until she was four." what about the father?
Further details added from the DNZB source.
"Due to her grandmother's illness" What illness?
Does the rewording help? I can't find anything about what kind of illness it was, but hopefully it's now more clear when/how it arose as an issue.
" favouring returned servicemen" I don't think it's immediately clear what "servicemen" are and what they have "returned from"
Now amended for clarity, thanks.
"Sturm had her first poem published" do you have a date?
Not been able to find one but I'll keep searching!
"when he took over the role from Baxter" date?
1948, now added.
" was commended as being of exceptional merit," by who?
I can't find anything explicitly stating who (all the sources just say something along the lines of, her MA thesis "was commended as being of exceptional merit and awarded first class honours" (in addition to FN8, see also her DNZB entry and the obituaries). My guess/assumption is that this would have been by the university, as part of awarding a first, but can't find anything directly in support.
" she used the pen name J.C. Sturm" is it really a pen name if it's just her initials?
Agreed, now amended.
Saying "It is clear that Baxter, at least, did not view this as a permanent separation" feels a little bit like editorialization given that I don't see that explicitly stated in the source provided
Agreed, removed.
I've checked some other references, they all line up
Not being used as a source as such, but just as a link to her MA thesis. FN 8 is the source for it having been commended as exceptional merit, awarded 1st class honours. Would FN 9 work better as an external link, do you think? (in the same way as her poems?)
No evidence of Copyvio (earwigs flags a mirror and quotations/proper names etc)
Marvellous, thank you so much. Very pleased and thanks for the helpful feedback/copyediting! I have addressed the points above to the extent possible, and happy to work on it further if you have any additional thoughts. Chocmilk03 (talk) 10:59, 11 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
... that Jacquie Sturm was the first Māori writer to have her work published in a New Zealand anthology? Source: "C.K. Stead included "For all the Saints" in New Zealand short stories: second series (Oxford University Press, 1966), making her the first Māori writer selected for a New Zealand anthology." (her DNZB entry)
ALT1:... that acclaimed New Zealand writer Jacquie Sturm had her first collection of poems published in 1996, when she was nearly 70? Source: "Jacquie was born Te Kare Papuni on 17 May 1927 [...] In 1996 she published her first collection of poetry, Dedications." (her DNZB entry)
Comment: This is my first DYK nomination, so will be grateful for any assistance/feedback! Thanks.
Overall: New GA article that is thorough and well-referenced. No copyvios detected. Both hooks are interesting. QPQ not needed. Good to go! Great job on this article and welcome to DYK! I hope you stick around :) TJMSmith (talk) 00:27, 16 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]