Talk:Eshmunazar I/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Ealdgyth (talk · contribs) 14:48, 16 February 2023 (UTC)

I'll get to this in the next few days. Ealdgyth (talk) 14:48, 16 February 2023 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

• Lead:
  • "command of Nebuchadnezzar II or Nabonidus." is Nabonidus an alternate name for Nebuchadnezzar II or is "command of either Nebuchadnezzar II or Nabonidus." meant?
  • "The king is mentioned in the funerary inscriptions" which king? The last kings mentioned are Nebuchadnezzar II and/or Nabodidus.
• Chronology:
  • "Elayi used all the available documentation of the time" this is ambiguous ... does it mean "all the available documentation of Elayi's time" or "all the available documentation of Eshmunazar's time"?
  • "Sidonian coins which were the first coins to bear minting dates in antiquity based on the years of reign of the Sidonian kings" I'm not sure what this is supposed to mean - it's very confused.
• Reign:
  • "unlike the royal customs of the Phoenician royalty" redundant - suggest either "unlike the royal of Phoenician royalty" or "unlike the royal customs of Phoenicia"
  • "command of Nebuchadnezzar II or Nabonidus." is Nabonidus an alternate name for Nebuchadnezzar II or is "command of either Nebuchadnezzar II or Nabonidus." meant?
  • "The king seized Egyptian stone sarcophagi" again, which king? The last kings mentioned are Nebuchadnezzar II and/or Nabodidus.
• I randomly googled three phrases and only turned up Wikipedia mirrors. Earwig's tool shows no sign of copyright violation.
• Spot checks:
  • "Sidon, which was a flourishing and independent Phoenician city-state, came under Mesopotamian occupation in the ninth century BC. The Assyrian king Ashurnasirpal II (883–859 BC) conquered the Lebanon mountain range and its coastal cities, including Sidon." is sourced to this source p. 651 which supports the information.
  • "After the Achaemenid conquest in 529 BC, Phoenicia was divided into four vassal kingdoms: Sidon, Tyre, Byblos and Arwad." is sourced to this source p. 156 which supports the information.

I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. Ealdgyth (talk) 15:05, 18 February 2023 (UTC)

Thanks for the review @Ealdgyth: el.ziade (talkallam) 21:07, 19 February 2023 (UTC)

These changes look good. Sorry for the delay - I had a big winter storm come across us and was busy with that... passing this now. Ealdgyth (talk) 14:29, 23 February 2023 (UTC)