Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/John Zorn
Would like a fresh set of eyes to check this article as I wish to progress it to GA status.
Thanks DISEman (talk) 02:36, 9 May 2008 (UTC)
- "Zorn's recorded output is prolific", "in 1995, where he has been prolific". Repetitive and maybe a bit too "emphatic".
- Do not overdo it with the wikilinking. Usually, once a word is wikilinked, it is ok.
- "He first released the composition 'Godard', a tribute to French film-maker ". "First" is related with what? Is there a relation or a continuity with the previous "Moricone paragraph"?
- In "Film music" I feel overwhelmed by all these stuff? The section, especially at the end, tends to look a bit trivia and listy. Maybe all this stuff could go to the "Filmography list" (which, contrary to the section, looks too poor), and perhaps in a separate article per the "Discography". Then the "Film music" section could focus on analysis.
- Prose problems in "Hardcore", especially with these stubby paragraphs.
- "John Zorn has established a diverse repertoire of music written for chamber musicians and orchestras. As Zorn's interest in Naked City waned he "started hearing classical music in [his] head again."[40] Zorn began" Again the prose a bit clumsy.
- "Recent projects" looks like a diary, not like an encyclopedic article. And, again, I repeat that throughout the article, I feel often overwhelmed by this "waves" of data! This is not necessarily bad, but you have to handle your material, in a way that the reader is not overwhelmed.
- "Legacy and awards" is full of short sentence (therefore clumsy prose), awards but almost no legacy!
- "External links" go after references.
I think the article is close to GA, but needs work for A-Class or FA status.--Yannismarou (talk) 19:37, 17 June 2008 (UTC)
Minor comments
[edit]Please check the spelling: the article uses a mixture of British and American spellings. I would prefer fewer external links; currently looks like a link farm. DrKiernan (talk) 08:52, 20 June 2008 (UTC)