Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/Archive/25

winter evening & warmth, limited edition

{{resolved}} Not what this page is for ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 15:32, 30 April 2010 (UTC) I bought every can of this I could find in my area, and then all of a sudden it was gone and 2-3 more scents popped up. Why was this limited? It's probably the best you've ever had and I'd like to find out how to get more. I don't even like the new ones. This was the best ever and you should know that according to how fast it sold out. Thanks, Beverly Stark, RN —Preceding unsigned comment added by 68.187.9.74 (talk) 15:33, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Hello. I suspect, based on your question, that you found one of our roughly three million articles, and thought that we were directly affiliated in some way with that subject. Please note that you are at Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia that anyone can edit, and this page is a help desk for review of new and draft articles. Thus, we have no inside track on the subject of your question. You can, however, search our vast catalogue of articles by typing a subject into the search field on the left hand side of your screen. If you cannot find what you are looking for, we have a reference desk, divided into various subject areas, where asking knowledge questions is welcome. Best of luck. – ukexpat (talk) 17:45, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Dave Lange

{{done}} reviewed with no response since the review from creator ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 15:40, 30 April 2010 (UTC) User:GeraldRice/Dave Lange

I'm looking to be sure my article on graphic designer Dave Lange is formatted correctly. Any help is appreciated. GeraldRice (talk) 19:30, 1 April 2010 (UTC)—Preceding unsigned comment added by GeraldRice (talk • contribs) 19:28, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

There's nothing there to hint that he is in any way notable enough to have an article about him in an encyclopedia. If it were to appear as a new article, I'd speedily delete it as lacking either evidence or credible assertion of notability. --Orange Mike | Talk 20:07, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Vision Care for Homeless People

{{done}} deleted per Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Vision Care for Homeless People ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 15:42, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

Vision Care for Homeless People Caring optician (talk) 21:01, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

It is a decent start, but is a bit rough. Some suggestions:

• Cut back on the external references, they are all pretty similar and don't help establish notability.
• Consider swapping the positions of the operations and history sections, I think it will read better.
• The tone is a bit like a press release or ad, can you make the tone more neutral?
• You need verifiable references to establish WP:N. Can you find some newspaper or other new articles? Is there any BBC coverage?

Hope that helps, feel free to contact me if you need help or have additional questions. --Nuujinn (talk) 17:41, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

Romex Cable

{{done}} reviewed almost a month ago, no work by creator since review. ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 15:49, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

Hello! I am a new contributor and long-time reader of Wikipedia. I've decided it's time I become a more active participant. I've started by creating this simple article User:Ninjashoes/Romex_Cable which I hope to move to the main space. Please let me know if this page is a good candidate and how it can be improved. There is a disambiguation page for Romex, but no further description of the item itself. Thanks :) Ninjashoes (talk) 21:13, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Seems like it's my day for being blunt - at the moment it is an advertisement masquerading as an article in breach of WP:SPAM, and will almost certainly be speedily deleted if moved to the mainspace in its current form. It is probably a notable product per WP:PRODUCT but it will need to be substantially rewritten with cited references to substantial coverage in multiple independent reliable sources. – ukexpat (talk) 21:15, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, that one falls under one of the things Wikipedia is not: a product directory or buyers guide. --Orange Mike | Talk 21:28, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

As the most commonly used wiring in buildings I though it notable enough to have it's own page per WP:PRODUCT. Perhaps I should make it more like this about.com description of Romex? And locate better/more references? Ninjashoes (talk) 21:34, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Not necessarily like about.com, just an encyclopedic article written from a neutral point of view. And yes, you will need independent sources to demonstrate notability. – ukexpat (talk) 21:37, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Infotech Enterprises

{{done}} reviewed and speedy deleted A7 ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 15:53, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

Infotech Enterprises

Mariah 2010 (talk) 04:12, 5 April 2010 (UTC) Maria H 05/04/2010

That did not read like an article, it read like an advertisement. I cleared all the spammy junk out, and almost nothing was left. --Orange Mike | Talk 13:49, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

I do not understand why this is happening. We are trying to create a profile for a company that is well known, well established. I see that you have been deleting everything. I do not know if there is something that we may have violated. If so, I think, you should let us know the appropriate links, that helps us get facts straight and improvise upon our work. However, I see that there is an element of pride in deleting, and announcing, NOTHING WAS LEFT. Would it not be so obliging if you as an admin showed us the path, rather than showing, how you could just undo all that we did. We are neither spammers, neither junk, we are genuine, and want to be a part, if you could let that happen. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 117.195.194.123 (talk) 15:50, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Who is this "we" that leaves an unsigned message? I take no pride in deleting other people's work, but I do feel a certain satisfaction in removing advertisements. Encyclopedia articles do not include language like, "recognized as a leading geospatial (GIS) services provider offering end-to-end geospatial solutions" (if there is one word which marks modern corporate spam, it is the abuse and misuse of the word "solution" in this smarmy manner) and "enjoys equity participation from globally reputed investors". --Orange Mike | Talk 15:58, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, forgot to sign in, like I said, we are new to this. For us users, any little definition or information that we look for, the first thing that we google is topic+wiki. The reason is simple, we think that they(wiki) will have accurate information. Well Infotech Enterprises is a company based in Hyderabad, and we do not have a wiki page. Yes, we are not here to advertise, else, we would not have our website, or spend so much on our ICM. We are here since we would also like to be known for what we are. We have not developed wiki pages, and do not understand the criteria that needs to be followed. I would be deeply obliged, if you could let me know what it takes to write a corporate profile about a company. What are the kind of citations you look forward for? What are the external links you look forward for? I have seen the corporate profile of Microsoft Corporation, and we are trying to develop something on the same lines. Ofcourse, we still have a long way to go, but our work is increased, when admins delete our work, instead of probably just letting us know where we lack,and how it has to be corrected. I will try and develop more content over the next couple of days, and request you to let me know where I do not follow guidelines, rather than deleting my work.

Thanks

Mariah 2010 (talk) 16:18, 6 April 2010 (UTC) Maria

A few things: Who are "we"? If you are sharing an account, that is not permitted by the user name policy; You appear to be connected with this organization so please read WP:COI - you are strongly discouraged from editing or creating articles where you have a COI; Now that the spam has been removed, there is nothing to indicate how or why this company meets Wikipedia's inclusion criteria for companies set out at WP:CORP; I can understand your frustration, but we have inclusion criteria and policies and we have to uphold them. You would be better off creating the article in you user space at User:Mariah 2010/Infotech Enterprises where you can work on it at your own pace before asking for it to be reviewed again. The Article creation wizard can help you do this. But please note, Wikipedia is not a directory or free webhost and only a very small percentage of all the companies out there meet the notability criteria. There are other outlets such as WikiCompany that have no inclusion criteria. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 16:42, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Lance Rest

{{done}} moved to mainspace ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 16:16, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

Wrote an article on the lance rest that can be found at: User:Thjothvitnir/Lance Rest from what appear to be reliable online sources, one of which is the Metropolitan Museum of Art. It's relatively short but fills a gap in the elements of medieval armor group. Thjothvitnir (talk) 05:42, 27 April 2010 (UTC)

A very good start on the article, I have moved it to the mainspace. ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 11:45, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Davidwlo/Anshen & Allen

{{done}} moved to mainspace ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 16:16, 30 April 2010 (UTC) To Whom It May Concern:

Please review my article at User:Davidwlo/Anshen & Allen.

I truly appreciate your time, comments and suggestions.

Thank you.

--Davidwlo (talk) 01:14, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

Good start. I think the history section should be rewritten. It currently is just a list of milestones in the companies development. It should be written in paragraph format. Statements such as "It is now considered" should be rewritten to specify who considers it. You can probably move this to the mainspace if you want to. ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 16:55, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

Kizer Energy Inc.

{{done}} speedy deleted g7 ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 16:17, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

Kizer Energy Inc.

Article deleted Author requested ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 21:44, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

Crabapple, Texas

{{done}} ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 16:18, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

Can I please get a review of Crabapple, Texas so that we can get the "new unreviewed article" tag removed. Maile66 (talk) 15:57, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

Done! --Orange Mike | Talk 21:02, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

Carl Moyer Program

{{done}} appears the creator does not need any additional help ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 00:10, 1 May 2010 (UTC) Carl Moyer Program

Please give a general review of this recently posted Wiki entry. I want to make sure it is clear and that all citations are noted.

Carl Moyer Program

--Riezebos Holzbaur (talk) 02:37, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

As a preliminary review, right now the article is almost entirely sourced using primary sources. You need secondary sources (also called third party sources) in the article—reliable newspaper articles, documentaries, books, magazine articles—written by people unaffiliated with the program. This type of subject is necessarily going to have to rely to some extent on primary source material but it should not rely on them entirely. Because of the way it's written, it reads like a brochure. When the subject of an article is a person or a company and it reads like this the impression is much worse because promotional on such subjects smacks of self-aggrandizement, whereas this is a government program—but it still sounds like ad-copy. We strive for neutrally written, balanced articles, giving voice to positive and negative criticism where appropriate. I also imagine you have a conflict of interest; that you are in some way personally involved with this topic, which makes writing a balanced article not only difficult, but usually it is not something the writer wants to do. Right now I could see it being nominated for deletion as promotion.--Fuhghettaboutit (talk) 03:58, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

{{Talkback}} Thanks for the feedback. I'll get on this right away to address the citation and neutrality issues! Riezebos Holzbaur (talk) 18:08, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

Beachcomber Hotels

{{done}} speedy deleted ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 23:31, 2 May 2010 (UTC)

Beachcomber Hotels

Hi, I've just modified my article. Adding some internal and external links to it and some more text as well. Can someone tell if either the article is ok or not plz and when are both of the top banner are going to be removed?

Thanks

Webbchot (talk) 05:47, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

At the moment it is an advertisement masquerading as an article in breach of WP:SPAM, and I have tagged it for speedy deletion as such. Phrases like "recognized as the pioneer and leader of the Mauritian hotel industry," and "providing the best in the choice of hospitality and quality of service in the Indian Ocean region" are Spam 101. – ukexpat (talk) 18:14, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Speedily deleted for a fourth time: (G11: Unambiguous advertising or promotion). – ukexpat (talk) 20:49, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Scottish Slimmers revisited

{{done}} speedy deleted ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 23:32, 2 May 2010 (UTC)

Scottish SlimmersThis page has been rewritten as I have a conflict of interest. Feedback would be welcome. Yvette Rayner Yvetterayner (talk) 13:34, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

As you already know, speedily deleted again: ‎ (G11: Unambiguous advertising or promotion: A7: Article about a company, corporation, organization, or group, which does not indicate the importance or significance of the subject).  – ukexpat (talk) 14:03, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Deberam/Michelle_Farmer_Jewelry

{{done}} speedy deleted ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 23:33, 2 May 2010 (UTC)

This article is about noted jewelry designer Michelle Farmer and some of her one-of-a-kind jewelry collections such as Pearls and Leather.

Deberam (talk) 14:39, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

The article as it currently stands is not ready for moving to the mainspace. It currently only has a reference to the website of Michelle Farmer Jewelry. You would need to add reliable sources so the information in the article can be independently verified. On top of that the article is written like an advertisement. It does not objectively discuss the company. The prose would need to be completely rewritten before it is ready for the mainspace. ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 14:50, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Although there is some leeway in user space, this is borderline speedily deletable. – ukexpat (talk) 19:38, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

And has now been deleted. – ukexpat (talk) 20:47, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

User:BSapp/Enter your new article name here

{{done}} speedy deleted ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 23:41, 2 May 2010 (UTC)

BSapp (talk) 21:28, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

Most of the article is a copy and paste copyright violation of http://www.groovemaker.com/about/ . Copyvios are not permitted, even in userspace, so I have had to tag it for speedy deletion.  – ukexpat (talk) 21:35, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

Iman Shumpert

Iman Shumpert: Basketball player for Georgia Tech, currently playing in 2010 NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Tournament

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Guru120/Iman_Shumpert --Guru120 (talk) 16:46, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

Please use inline references.

WP:CITE

• Also, please be careful about using non-neutral language. For example, He is recognized as a versatile guard who has the skills to play both the point and the wing and is excellent defender - whilst these 'facts' may be supported by the reference, it is important to write in a neutral, encyclopaedic manner. I am not sure if the 'georgia tech' site would qualify as a reliable source - assuming for a moment that it was, then perhaps it could be phrased as e.g. Georgia tech declare him a "versatile guard who has the skills to play both the point and the wing [...an] Excellent defender"<ref>[http://ramblinwreck.cstv.com/sports/m-baskbl/mtt/shumpert_iman00.html Official website of Georgia Tech Athletics]</ref>

 Chzz  ►  12:36, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

There is already an article about this player. --Orange Mike | Talk 14:44, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

NPPL (UK National Private Pilots License)

A new page for the National Private Pilots License (NPPL) User:Mobilesense/National_Private_Pilot_Licence

It's my first new page on Wikipedia, so be gentle ;)

It is intended that this be linked from the existing and extremely comprehensive page on Pilot_licensing_in_the_United_Kingdom as being the first level of UK license.

As a new student to flying in the UK, I found the information about NPPL confusing, inconsistent and difficult to uncover. I have assembled the key facts into a single page and shown supporting references where possible/relevant.

While the NPPL covers two categories (aeroplanes and self-launching gliders/powered handgliders), I've concentrated on the aeroplane aspects as a start.

Mobilesense (talk) 09:57, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

User:Andersenman/Connichi

Hello,

I have created an article in my userspace about one of the few big, if not biggest, anime convention of Germany, User:Andersenman/Connichi. I am writing as an insider so I am somewhat struggling to find actually published references to, or by, "reliable sources" (although I am not revealing any "secret" interna) to make it entirely verifiable. This is my first article. I am looking forward to reading your responses. Thanks. Andersenman (talk) 13:22, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

Virgin Media Pioneers

I'd really appreciate you having a look at User:P4parrot/VirginMediaPioneers. This is the first time I've written a wiki articleso any feedback's appreciated.

Virgin Media Pioneers is a new video-blogging n=community for young entrepreneurs.

Thanks,

P4parrot (talk) 16:38, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

I fixed the link in your request so it would work properly.

The problem with the article at present is that it contains no independent third-party references; every citation links to the official website or to other sites affiliated with it. This means that if the article goes live now, it will probably be nominated for deletion on the grounds that it fails Wikipedia's notability and/or verifiability tests. Since the subject of the article only launched a couple of weeks ago, this is hardly surprising. You need to find credible independent coverage of VirginMediaPioneers, and cite it in the article, before it will be ready for articlespace. Karenjc 19:38, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

Thanks so much will definitely update that P4parrot (talk) 11:27, 24 March 2010 (UTC)

Rebecca_Smith_(beauty_queen)

Rebecca_Smith_(beauty_queen)

User:Seth60426/Enter your new article name here

Good afternoon, I'd like to post an article on Mrs. Maryland 2009. Please reveiw and send any suggestions. I also can't find how to change the name. I'll keep looking.

Thank you!!!Seth60426 (talk) 18:22, 24 March 2010 (UTC)

Robert Kozma

This is a request for feedback for the page created on Robert Kozma. He is a highly experienced professor at the University of Memphis and Director of several projects that are of interest to the scientific world. I am a third party creating this page and therefore have kept an unbias tone. Thank you for your help. Helios Kirk (talk) 13:49, 24 March 2010 (UTC)

Well, you need to establish WP:N since this is a biography of a living person. To do that you need to get some reference from reliable and verifiable sources. Easiest way to do that would be to google in the news section for newspaper and magazine articles. I think the tone is still a bit too promotional, and the lists should probably be reworked into narrative paragraphs. Good start tho, but don't waste time getting references--this is in main space and BLPs get pretty severe scrutiny. --Nuujinn (talk) 23:13, 24 March 2010 (UTC)

User:Lizzard388/Example/Steiner Electric

This is an article about Steiner Electric Company. There is not a page for them yet and I wanted them to be on Wikipedia since they are a well-known large company. This is my first time making a page on Wikipedia and wanted feedback. I also wanted to know how to make those boxes usually seen on the right hand side of company like pages on Wikipedia. Thanks! 3/16/2010 Lizzard388 (talk) 21:56, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

Not a horrid start, but needs significant work. I will try to comment here in more detail later. As for the box, look at {{infobox company}}. I hope this helps. DES ^(talk) 00:03, 17 March 2010 (UTC)

Thanks, I tried to work on it more and I added a lot more references and made some links throughout and got my infobox created. If you get a chance to look at it again it would be much appreciated! Thanks. Lizzard388 (talk) 20:56, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

User:Lizzard388/Example/Steiner Electric

User:Lizzard388/Example/Steiner Electric Hi, I made a draft of my first article on Steiner Electric Company in my userspace and want to make it a live article in the mainspace but wanted some feedback first so that it doesn't get deleted. I added a bunch of references and found more hard copy magazines that they are mentioned in that are not online from a few years back that I can add as well. I needed help with editing and making it as good as I can before I submit it to the mainspace. I also needed help with copyright issues and trying to upload the logo that is trademarked. I see other companies have their logos but I do not understand how to upload the one I have. Any feeback would be much appreciated as I would like to make it a real article as soon as possible! Thanks so much! Lizzard388 (talk) 16:13, 24 March 2010 (UTC)

I will look at the draft as soon as I can, but on the logo question: a non-free logo uploaded as described in WP:LOGO cannot be used in the draft while it is still in userspace - non-free images are not permitted in userspace. When the article is moved to mainspace the logo can be uploaded and used in the article, and I would be more than happy to help you with that. – ukexpat (talk) 16:55, 24 March 2010 (UTC)

Thank you! Looking forward to your reply after checking my draft! Lizzard388 (talk) 20:55, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

Jamie Moffett

Hello Everyone, This is my first article and I would appreciate some feedback. This article is about Philadelphia motion picture director Jamie Moffett.

Thank you for your help!!

--Meghan T (talk) 21:14, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

Digital Group Audio

{{Done}} - deleted (twice). – ukexpat (talk) 15:30, 6 May 2010 (UTC)

We are a a group of business students from Cal State San Marcos working with a company for our senior project and one of our tasks was to create a Wikipedia page for them. We are fairly new at this and any feedback you may be able to give us would help out a lot. Thank you for your time. Once again the article was Digital Group Audio.

Thank you,

Opmongooseegg (talk) 20:03, 3 April 2010 (UTC)Senior Experience Team, April 3, 2010

A couple of major problems: first, the article is very spammy, so much so that I have tagged it for speedy deletion. Second, the subject's notability is dubious - please take a look at the guidelines at WP:CORP - even if it survives speedy deletion you will need to cite non-trivial coverage in multiple independent reliable sources to demonstrate notability. Final point for now, sharing a user account is not permitted by the user name policy. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 21:13, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Glenn Gissler

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 15:32, 6 May 2010 (UTC)

Hi, I'm trying to post an article on interior designer Glenn Gissler (should be either User:Misterajp/glenn gissler or Glenn Gissler. This is my first article for wikipedia - I've been very careful about making sure the subject is notable and has appropriate sources, but i'm getting very confused/overwhelmed by the protocol of actually posting. Any help would be much appreciated - thank you so much! Misterajp (talk) 21:20, 5 April 2010 (UTC) MisterAJP April 5, 2010

I think the subject probably meets the notability guidelines set out and WP:BIO and WP:ARTIST, but the references need some work. At the moment they just point to the main pages of the journals, so it is impossible for a reader to verify that the source actually says what is claimed. You should cite the sources using the {{Cite journal}} template, filling in as much of the relevant data as possible. There are also a few layout issues: the article should be broken up into section for ease of reading (see WP:LAYOUT and WP:MOSBIO); I corrected a couple of other formatting issues and fixed some broken Wikilinks. I would advise that the draft not be moved into mainspace just yet - at least not until the references are more detailed. If you need help adding the {{Cite journal}} template, let me know and I will try to help.  – ukexpat (talk) 15:17, 9 April 2010 (UTC)

about ambika mandeer

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 15:25, 6 May 2010 (UTC)

sir, plz give me detailas of shri ambika mander history. as wel as posibl. thanks Regards, <redacted>

This is a forum to ask questions about Wikipedia articles.SPhilbrickT 14:25, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

Digital Group Audio

{{Done}} - article deleted per Afd, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Digital Group Audio. – ukexpat (talk) 15:29, 6 May 2010 (UTC)

Digital Group Audio Digital Group Audio

We are a group of business students working on a project and one of our tasks was to create a Wikipedia article. Our first article was deleted for unambiguous advertising and since then the Team has changed the content drastically many times to make sure that it fits the rules and guidelines of Wikipedia. Instead of promoting a company or product, we made sure that it is used as a source for factual information. We realize it is difficult for start-up companies to enter articles onto Wikipedia because they tend to promote their products or brand name, so we revised the content several times over and read the guidelines in order to meet these requirements. With this said, the Team would love to hear any feedback that you may have in regard to this article. The Team has tried multiple times to rewrite the content and even considered retitling the article in order to meet these standards. Thank you for any feedback you can give us.

Egroset2010 (talk) 22:28, 26 April 2010 (UTC)Senior Experience Business Team, April 26,2010Egroset2010 (talk) 22:28, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

We do not permit "team" accounts here. This role account had to be blocked. --Orange Mike | Talk 22:34, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

And the article deleted (for a second time) per this Afd. – ukexpat (talk) 15:29, 6 May 2010 (UTC)

User:GodlikeMachinima/Godlike_Machinima_Productions

{{done}} Speedy deleted G-11 and user blocked ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 20:28, 6 May 2010 (UTC)

This is a wiki about GodLike Machinima Productions which is a creation that was made by David Fraser a YouTube user. This is my first wiki. —Preceding unsigned comment added by GodlikeMachinima (talk • contribs) 19:43, 6 May 2010 (UTC)

Two major problems: there is no indication of how or why the subject meets the notability criteria set out at WP:GNG and WP:WEB; it reads like an advertisement in violation of WP:SPAM, and has been speedily deleted as such. – ukexpat (talk) 19:50, 6 May 2010 (UTC)

globalvision

User:Mcjanus/GlobalVision_Communication: I created an article on the company providing the world's first VideoStreetView - that is StreetView in 360° immersive motion video. Please help me review it to ensure it is sufficiently documented and well written.

Mcjanus (talk) 09:54, 26 March 2010 (UTC) User:Mcjanus/ - 26.03.2010

Billie Jean black sequin jacket

Hello, Please help by reviewing the following article, and provide feedback in order to improve the Billie Jean black sequin jacket page. User:DinhoGauch10/Billie Jean black sequin jacket DinhoGauch10 (talk) 19:29, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

Note for reviewers: A previous version of the article was deleted per this Afd discussion: Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Billie Jean black sequin jacket. – ukexpat (talk) 20:46, 26 March 2010 (UTC)

Mogamma

I would like feedback on my article titled 'Mogamma'. Please check it out, any feedback will be helpful.

Thanks Maryam Negm (talk) 09:45, 25 March 2010 (UTC) 09:42, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

National Church Residences Senior Housing

New article. Need to get some feedback please. User:Ncr09/Seniorhousing (Ncr09 (talk) 13:51, 27 March 2010 (UTC))

You left the same request at the Editor assistance requests page earlier this month and a reply was left for you there. Because you did not respond, the message thread was archived. You can find it at Wikipedia:Editor assistance/Requests/Archive 72#need help editing and posting article. As far as I can tell the same comments apply to the draft article now -- it does not demonstrate the notability of the subject per the guidelines at WP:ORG. – ukexpat (talk) 18:44, 27 March 2010 (UTC)

StartCom

New start for StartCom: User:Dtech/StartCom.

StartCom was deleted about 3 years ago because of too little notability and spam. The company has grown quite a bit since then and has gained an important unique role in ICT-security (read the page). Okay to add again? —Preceding unsigned comment added by Dtech (talk • contribs) 14:03, 27 March 2010 (UTC)

I'm sorry, but both references are blog entries and thus do not count as verifiable sources. Personally, I think that policy will need to undergo some revision in the near future, at least in terms of software, but for the time being, that's the rule. Can you find any sources in magazines? --Nuujinn (talk) 22:24, 27 March 2010 (UTC)

Maybe, but I'm not willing to go through my old stack of C'T magazines. I'll use the StartCom and Microsoft press releases instead (altough I opted for the blogs because they are much more neutral) -- Dtech (talk) 09:24, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

Press releases are not sufficient to demonstrate notability. Anyone can put out a press release which is then regurgitated by the business news wire services. You need non-trivial coverage in multiple independent sources. – ukexpat (talk) 17:37, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

Rachel's Organics

Rachel's Organics This article is about a Welsh dairy company who became the UK's first certified organic dairy. Thank you for your help in improving this article. --Rachel Aberystwyth (talk) 10:30, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

• Please read Wikipedia:Conflict of interest
• The article needs more independent sources. There are some write ups in the press it looks like from a Google News Search. See WP:SOURCES. A major concern is complete paragraphs and even a section without sources.
• The article reads like a press release or company website.The tone needs to be more neutral. You can do this by including more info such as the reasoning behind dropping "Organics". More data on market presence or some other aspects related to the business and products (not award related) would help.
• You do not need two spaces in between paragraphs
• The Coolbrand link does not work.
• There are not enough links in the article to others and more need to come in. See WP:LINKS
• The references and external link need to be properly formatted. See WP:CITEHOW and WP:EL
• Other touch-ups include adding categories and maybe an infobox.Cptnono (talk) 11:07, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

Data Scientist

Data Scientist User:Hofftodd/Data Scientist

Todd Hoff Hofftodd (talk) 22:14, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

Dr.Anadalakshmy Versus Government of India, CBSE

User:Lynchtribe/Dr.Anadalakshmy Versus Government of India, CBSE

This is an article regarding a controversial practice in leading educational institutions in India, which has since been outlawed by the Supreme Court of India, as well as the High Court of Madras, Chennai, India.

The legal clauses have been quoted from a transcript of the court hearing, I believe this is from a public information website and is hence not copyright. Another quote is taken from a news website, and I am unsure if this would be breaching copyright restrictions.

I believe that this article is important and encyclopedic in nature as it outlines an important controversy in Indian Education and the court case connected to this.

Any inputs on this page would be much appreciated. This is my first attempt at contributing to wikipedia, I have never found an article I was looking for unavailable here thusfar, and have hence never felt the necessity to create a page myself!

Thanks!! lynchtribe Lynchtribe (talk) 09:33, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Fort Andrews

{{done}} article in mainspace, ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 00:51, 11 May 2010 (UTC)

I am working on my first article, User:Pgrig/Fort Andrews, and have it up as a subpage. I think I have correctly given it a Talk Page. Please see the questions I raise there.

The draft article refers to Fort Andrews, a now-disused Coast Artillery fort on Peddocks Island in Boston Harbor, MA. If it seems generally OK, I intend to add a couple of other photos (including a 1921-vintage Army map of fort structures) and some more descriptive details.

Thanks for your time in looking this over!

-Paul Pgrig (talk) 14:26, 2 May 2010 (UTC)

This article already exists at Fort Andrews. The article there need some work, looks like you could take some of the info you put into your page to update that one. Good luck. ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 21:49, 2 May 2010 (UTC)

I didn't read your note on the talk page. I have moved Fort Andrews to Fort Andrew as that appears to be the correct title of the fort. As far as distinguishing between the two, we can add a hatnote to them both, directing to the other one. I think your article is ready for the mainspace. I tried to move it, but we will need to have an admin move it. I will request it be moved. ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 12:19, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

Thank you, GBfan. Please do take a look at my Talk note. The name of "my" fort is without any doubt "Fort Andrews," but from a quick search of the web, the "other" one (which already exists on WP under "Fort Andrews") seems to be referred to 50-50 with and without the "s" at its end.

It looks to me as if the existing article might need confirmation and then editing, and if the "hatting" procedure is used (which I am unfamiliar with), I'd like to make sure that there's no confusion about the spelling and identity of "my" Ft. Andrews Pgrig (talk) 14:46, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

The other question on my Fort Andrews Talk page involved the appropriateness of an external link to my website, CoastDefense.com. I have edited the article to re-include this link, in case other reviewers miss my Talk page. Pgrig (talk) 15:03, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

I guess I wasn't clear before. When I made my first comment I hadn't read the talk page, but then I went back and read the talk page before making my second comment above, sorry for the confusion. The problem with the link is that self-published works are generally not acceptable. It could appear to someone as a spam link to try to get your website more hits. I believe that the article is ready for the mainspace, just waiting for an admin to put it there. ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 19:08, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

The article has been moved to the mainspace. ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 10:52, 4 May 2010 (UTC)

E3 Style

Hi there, I have had this page deleted for the following reasons. This page has been deleted. The deletion and move log for the page are provided below for reference.

03:20, 29 March 2010 NawlinWiki (talk | contribs) deleted "E3! Style" ‎ (A7: No explanation of the subject's significance (real person, animal, organization, or web content))

I created this page as it is as relevant as say dick smith, or Big W. After all you only need to see the recognition and references to see its relevance and acolades.

Can someone please tell me why this was deleted. I used article wizard to create it so have no idea what I've done wrong. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Tamarax163 (talk • contribs) 06:18, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

It was deleted for the reasons stated in the notice on your talk page. Wikipedia has inclusion criteria based on notability, not "relevance" and for companies this is explained further by the guidelines at WP:CORP. In order to avoid speedy deletion, an article has, at the minimum, to make some claim as to importance or significance of its subject. Obviously the original did not do that otherwise it would not have been deleted. NawlinWiki is a very experienced admin and would not have deleted the article lightly. Now, to the current version: yes it claims notability and has some sources to support that, but at the moment it reads as promotional in tone (even if that was not your intention) and needs to be toned down to a more neutral point of view. NB - using the article wizard is no guarantee that an article will not be deleted, it's just a process to help in creation. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 16:15, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Universal Syncopations

User:Hewins/Universal Syncopations

I created an album page for "Universal Syncopations." I based it on the article for Extrapolation by John McLaughlin.

This is the first article I have created. I would appreciate any feedback.

Thanks, Dan

Dan Hewins (talk) 14:53, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Joe Hoeffel

Hi,

I'm responsible (as in a paid employee of the candidate) for editing the wikipedia entry for Joe Hoeffel, a candidate for the Democratic nomination for Governor of Pennsylvania.

I think I'm doing well with NPOV and citing sources, but I'm not clear what would be too "promotional." Is it legit to post a list of the candidates' positions on a dozen major political issues? (I see other politician pages that do so). Is it legit to say he has positioned himself as the socially progressive or liberal candidate in the field if I can cite multiple major newspapers saying the same thing? Or is that out of bounds and I should stick to dryer facts like "is running for Governor."?

Thanks in advance for any feedback you more experienced editors can give!

JoeHoeffel (talk) 20:07, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Hi, I gave you some information regarding editing with a conflict of interest at your talk page. For the questions you are asking here, it is best to look at some of our other articles on politicians to get a feel of what is a neutral point of view and what is not. You may post a candidate's positions on the issues, but they should be well cited from reliable sources and they should be worded with neutral terminology. Barack Obama social policy is a well-cited article that explains the politician's political views without bias; this would be a good model to use when explaining Hoeffel's views. It is best to include, if possible, both verbal/written statements on an issue and how a candidate has actually voted on legislation dealing with the particular issue. A mixture of secondary sources along with primary sources is also preferable. If major newspapers are making a statement about his politics you can add it to his article (unless they disagree; then the article should cover that disagreement) and then cite the newspapers. It is best to word statements such as "he has been described as a social progressive by the Patriot News" rather than "He is a social progressive", because our articles shouldn't make direct statements of opinion in fuzzy areas such as this. I hope this helps, ThemFromSpace 21:45, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Proactive policing

Hello, i have written a draft article on proactive policing which is here. Any feedback would be very much appreciated. Thank you YouAndMeBabyAintNothingButCamels (talk) 05:51, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

I don't know if this is, strictly speaking, a WP:POVFORK of Preventive police. However, it does seem to be mostly from one point of view. Yaris678 (talk) 10:34, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

User:kncipi/Institute for Private Investors

User:Kncipi/Institute for Private Investors

Hello,

I am writing to request feedback on a userspace draft that I have been working on and would like to create a new entry with. It is going to be on the Institute for Private Investors. If you could please offer feedback, that would be great.

Thanks,

Kncipi (talk) 18:34, 26 March 2010 (UTC)

It is very spammy and would probably be speedily deleted if moved to the mainspace in its current form. – ukexpat (talk) 02:31, 27 March 2010 (UTC)

OK, thanks for the feedback. Would you mind giving me some advice as to what improvements would make it appropriate, or what should be deleted? Kncipi (talk) 17:47, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

It needs to be rewritten from a neutral point of view. Your user name suggests that you may be connected to the subject. If so, please read WP:COI - you are strongly advised not to create or edit articles where you have a COI. – ukexpat (talk) 17:52, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Got it, thanks - I am not connected to the subject but see how it would seem so.Kncipi (talk) 18:21, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Apologies for jumping to conclusions! – ukexpat (talk) 19:54, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

That's ok - I appreciate your feedback!! Kncipi (talk) 20:51, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Barbara L. Kellerman

Dear Wikipedia editors:

I would appreciate it if you could review the following page for Professor Barbara L. Kelleman.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_L._Kellerman

Professor Kellerman is a Professor at the Harvard Kennedy School and this page is about her career and work.

Any and all input is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Mike --128.103.18.145 (talk) 16:34, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Please make sure you are signed in when you edit, I am guessing you are User:Mikeleveriza. I have tagged the article for speedy deletion as a copyright violation of http://www.hks.harvard.edu/fs/bkeller/bkellbio.htm and http://www.hks.harvard.edu/about/faculty-staff-directory/barbara-kellerman - both pages bear a copyright notice. Wikipedia cannot accept copyrighted materials. – ukexpat (talk) 17:24, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

OK the copyvio stuff has been cleaned up (but some of the remaining text does look a little too close to the above websites for my liking). The main problem is references to support notability. It is pretty clear that she is notable, now you need to cite significant non-trivial coverage in multiple independent sources. – ukexpat (talk) 18:05, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

Xiaopeng Rick Niu

Xiaopeng Rick Niu Nanluoguxiang (talk) 01:38, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

Please kindly help review this Wikipedia page about Mr. Niu. Thank you very much for your time. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Nanluoguxiang (talk • contribs) 01:41, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

Please take a look at WP:BIO - the subject of the article does not appear to be notable as Wikipedia defines that term, and therefore does not meet the inclusion criteria. – ukexpat (talk) 18:36, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

Philippa Hobbs

Philippa Hobbs

Philippa is a South African artist, author and curator. She has contributed to art development through the management of various generous art budgets, by writing educational supplements and by touring the MTN Art Foundation's large collection around the country. Hobbs is in the process of completing her 5th and 6th art book. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 41.247.119.244 (talk) 20:56, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

I assume you are User:Annasor963? Please make sure you are signed in when editing. Thanks. – ukexpat (talk) 21:24, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

Ben Wynter

{{done}} Speedy deleted G11 ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 18:00, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

Ben Wynter

Hi wanted to get some feedback on the article written.

I look forward to your response

Cheers Billionaireben (Billionaireben (talk) 12:29, 13 May 2010 (UTC))

Not Safe For Vampires

Not Safe For Vampires [[1]] —Preceding unsigned comment added by RichyDzeta (talk • contribs) 07:12, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

The page doesn't demonstrate the notability of the book. If you were to move it to the mainspace now, it would be deleted. This is to say that a book does not get an article on Wikipedia simply because it exists. It is required to show that multiple reliable sources have covered the book in depth. This would include reviews from such sources as the New York Times and other newspapers, magazines, and other publications, including web-publications. The author's own website, as well as any website selling the book, do not demonstrate notability. Someguy1221 (talk) 07:21, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

Philippa Hobbs 2

Philippa Hobbs http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippa_Hobbs

Philippa Hobbs is an author and art historian in South Africa. I would like some advice as to how the subheadings of the articles should be ordered, what biographical personal information is necessary (such as family etc.) and whether her current projects - incomplete books - should be discussed.

Annasor963 (talk) 07:57, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

You have already made a request above - please be patient, we are all volunteers here. – ukexpat (talk) 21:17, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Penfold77/Loch_Long

User:Penfold77/Loch_Long This is my write up for a class of wooden sailing boat. Looking for feedback/reassurance as to whether it's ready for going live, it's my first wiki page. Cheers. Penfold77 (talk) 19:29, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

Murray Chevrolet

I was looking for someone to review Murray Chevrolet so as to get rid of the "unreviewed article" tag it currently has.

Xpapax (talk) 21:56, 13 May 2010 (UTC) xPAPAx - May 13th / 2010 Xpapax (talk) 21:56, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

{{done}} Done--SPhilbrickT 18:56, 14 May 2010 (UTC)

War in Darfur

A new section was recently added[2] to War in Darfur. The new content is extremely biased but contains some ideas worth mentioning and has been superseded by 50+ comments. The article receives little attention but desperately needs some. I've posted a comment on its talk page looking for solutions. It needs feedback. What should we do?  dmyersturnbull  ⇒ talk 20:02, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

The article's talk page is the place to discuss content issues. This page is really for requests for feedback on new articles or drafts of articles. – ukexpat (talk) 21:21, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

J'Aton Couture

{{done}}, over 3 weeks since feedback, no response from author. ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 16:00, 17 May 2010 (UTC)

• J'Aton Couture (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

This is a very simple article about an increasingly prominent Australian fashion house. I would appreciate any feedback or additions to this article. Thanks! —Preceding unsigned comment added by Ratorg (talk • contribs) 09:24, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

Not bad for a new article. Could use some links about some of the more fine words/terms. Overall, an Agree from me.  A p3rson ‽ 14:42, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

Edwin Hodge

{{done}}, review completed, no response from the author. ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 16:02, 17 May 2010 (UTC) Edwin Hodge

tjbw (talk) 21:03, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

 Possible Still needs some work, sentence structure mainly. Also, a little bit more about the person, rather than just about 5 sentences and 2 large tables. But a good start.  A p3rson ‽ 14:45, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

Kevin Warren Sloan

I am requesting feedback on User:Houstongal82/ Kevin Warren Sloan in order to move my userspace.

Houstongal82 (talk) 14:49, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

I think this is a very good start. You have some references, but could use some more, the standards are pretty high for biographies. I'd suggest losing the word "notable" in the first sentence--that's an opinion, really. Also, see if you can work on the lead--start with 1-3 lines of summary text, and then go into the article. I'd suggest as a start just to use the first sentence as the lead.

I am not sure what the purpose of the About KWS and Projects section is, if those sources contain data on his work, then it would be good to document that information in the article and provide inline citations.

The prose needs some work, but that can come with time.... --Nuujinn (talk) 18:02, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

Thank you so much for the wonderful feedback - it was incredibly helpful! I'll make these changes and request feedback one more time before I request a move.

Houstongal82 (talk) 19:57, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

I have made a few minor formatting changes - headings per WP:MOSHEAD; hiding the categories while it's in user space. – ukexpat (talk) 20:12, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Steven Fox, Classical Music Conductor

User:Ultrageist/Steven Fox Hello, I'm new and this is my first article for Wikipedia. I was wondering if I could get a feedback for the page created on Steven Fox. He is a respected classical music conductor here in New York. He also has a group perform with Baroque era instruments (reproductions). I might have some mistake here or there so any feedback would be much appreciated! Thanks so much

Ultrageist (talk) 16:30, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

The main thing this article needs are verifiable references to establish notability. You have a couple of decent references in the Notes section, I'd suggest converting those to inline citations. Search in Google news for more references, I'm sure you can find some. The biography and career sections both need some citations. --Nuujinn (talk) 17:51, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

Thank you so much for the feedback. I will spend some time googling and make some edits.

Ultrageist (talk) 06:32, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

Baggataway (manga) - New Wikipedia contributor here seeking useful advice

Hello Everyone. I am here to seek advice for the article: Baggataway (manga). It is an article relating to a Japanese comic. Among advices that I most wished to hear include Correctness in citation, Notability, and English style, but please feel free to tell me whatever come to your mind.

There is specific detail content - like further information of the characters - that I can possibly add, but I feel I should not spoil the original work too much.

Thank you very much Scchan (talk) 03:21, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

I see that it's been marked for deletion--if it is deleted, do request that it be moved to your userspace for further work. One thing that I think needs doing is to provide english translations of the cited non-english sources, as per Wikipedia:References#Non-English_sources. Manga's not my thing, so I'm afraid I can't be too much help vis a vis content. --Nuujinn (talk) 16:50, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

Thank you for your input. I agree with you are correct that at least some sort of summary is needed for foreign language information. I like your input being specific and clear. Depending on the outcome of the delete process, I will make sure that be added to that page. I also work on Meteorology and Atmospheric Science pages; for those, I have no worry about foreign language (it is actually quite interesting that the big foreign journals in my field are actually all English). Scchan (talk) 19:58, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

Do you think endorsements and reviews from independent professionals help the notability of it? I actually find out the work is actually endorsed by award winning creator who publishes in different publishers, and added that to the page. And somehow the work is also now listed under Lacrosse category, so I hope someone from Lacrosse group in here will say something. Scchan (talk) 21:27, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

David Weir (writer)

Any feedback or reviews appreciated! David Weir (writer) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Weir_(writer) Thanks! Fiona Weir Talk

I see that you've already gotten some feedback from Orangemike. I think the article is sparse and needs some fleshing out, but the tone is pretty neutral. What you really need tho are some 2nd party reliable sources to establish your dad's notability--the best thing would be if you could find references in newspapers or magazines. The Radio Times interview would be a good one to use--see WP:CITE for some information on how to cite sources. Such sources are key to a biographical article's survival.... --Nuujinn (talk) 20:14, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

That's useful, thanks very much! I'll look for some more sources. I'm kind of hoping other people will flesh out the article, since I know I'm on thin ice doing it myself, due to (real or perceived) COI! Fiona Weir (talk) 14:56, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Review of a user-created book

Hi there. Could anyone please see if User:Buggie111/Books/The Atlanta Campaign is ready for the Book: space? I'd like to know if it it's ready to be sent out. Cheers, Buggie111 (talk) 21:20, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

This is a first - we haven't been asked to give feedback on a UCB before. I have only had peripheral contact with the project. Maybe you would get a better response at Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Wikipedia-Books? Oops, that was me, signing now.. – ukexpat (talk) 19:34, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

S'Quarrels

User:TBGF/S'Quarrels TBGF (talk) 05:53, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

The article itself looks good. Although the subject, with it being a fairly new game, recently created in 2007, it's notability may not be as established as some older more well-known games. It would help to assert notability: what makes this card game important or worthy of an encyclopedic article? A wider variety of references may help. See WP:GNG for further information. -- œ^™ 16:13, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

KaisKids Cambodia

This is the first article I have ever written for Wiki. I welcome feedback on whether it has been written correctly and follows the editorial guidelines?

Kind regards Jill Herriott Herriottj (talk) 12:22, 5 April 2010 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Herriottj (talk • contribs) 04:36, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

The language is far too promotional, and you have provided no evidence of notability. Sorry, but Wikipedia's purpose is not to give publicity to worthy causes.--Orange Mike | Talk 17:20, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Just hear it

Just hear it

This is an article about a music service I found online. I found a lot of sources, but would like for someone to check it for me, if possible. Thank you!

Ericcartmenez (talk) 18:38, 4 April 2010 (UTC) Ericcartmenez 04/04/2010

User:Josemariasaldana/ICST

ICST User:Josemariasaldana/ICST

I'd like to know if this article can be published. It is about an international organization that organizes international ICT conferences and publications.

Thank you

--Josemariasaldana (talk) 13:00, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Accrediting Commission for Community and Junior Colleges

Hi, I'm requesting feedback on this article, User:4117Ashford/Accrediting_Commission_for_Community_and_Junior_Colleges. I want the article to be helpful to academics and non-academics alike who want to know the nature and significance of this commission's accreditation process. I use six different sources, four of them third-party. Much of the description of the process I derive from ACCJC materials because it is the authority on policies and procedures. Thanks very much. 4117Ashford (talk) 15:52, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Timeshare Relief, INC.

Requesting feedback on new Wiki page. What can I do to improve the quality and value of the entry. Thanks?

Timeshare Relief, INC. Mytwocents02 (talk) 17:41, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

It is very spammy in tone, so much so that I have tagged it for speedy deletion. – ukexpat (talk) 19:31, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

What can I do make it sound less spammy? That wasn't my intention at all. There are other timeshare companies on Wikipedia, and I actually tried following their model and templates even, like Group RCI and Wyndham Vacation Resorts. How did those entries stick? Is it because they have very little info in them? thanks Mytwocents02 (talk) 21:54, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

The first question to ask is why are you writing the article in the first place? If you are associated with the company, you will very likely not be able to write a good article on it, see WP:COI. Links to the firm's web site are not good references, a good start would be to eliminate those. Also, I'd suggest you request that the article be moved to your userspace if your motives are pure. --Nuujinn (talk) 22:26, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

It did not read like an article, it read like an advertisement. Any "article" which describes the subject as selling "solutions" is going to be flagged as an advertisement, unless the subject is Sigma-Aldrich and the solutions sold are gram-molar ionic salts in aqueous solution. Other obvious spammy bits included the persistent use of first names, the cozy tone, the repeated insertion of ™ marks... I could go on and on.--Orange Mike | Talk 13:48, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

How do I move it back to my userspace so I can fix it. I also realized that I failed to mention some critical controversies that may make this article more notable.Mytwocents02 (talk) 17:35, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Aberdeen Bach Choir

Could someone please have a quick review of this short article. It also has a couple of discussion topics/ideas.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Rhymester/Aberdeen_Bach_Choir

--Rhymester (talk) 22:26, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Other than some minor style issues, it looks good. You may want to add more independant third-party sources to help assert notability. -- œ^™ 04:53, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Saeb Eigner

Hello, I have created the following article for a friend but would like to hear any comments as this is the first article I have ever created. Thank you

Saeb Eigner - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Seigner/Saeb_Eigner#External_links Seigner (talk) 08:24, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Nothing there to indicate why the guy is notable enough to have an entry in an encyclopedia. Also: please be aware of our rules about conflict of interest, which would strongly suggest that you should not be writing about a friend or client. --Orange Mike | Talk 13:50, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

National Aerial Firefighting Centre (NAFC)

User talk:Aerialfirefan/National Aerial Firefighting Centre (NAFC)

Aerialfirefan (talk) 05:37, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

Hi this is my first article. Can you please give me some feedback. Thanks!!! Aerialfirefan (talk) 07:31, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

Boraginaceae page display problem

on page subject BORAGINACEAE the list of genera is partly covered by a photograph. I have not seen this before. Is it a page problem or a problem with my (work) PC, which displays other pages properly? As it stands, I cannot check the list of genera, (though there are other sources of the data), which spoils the page. - js.Boraginaceae —Preceding unsigned comment added by 137.108.145.10 (talk) 14:58, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

Please ask your question at the Help Desk or the Village Pump. This page is for requesting review of new articles or drafts of articles. Thanks. – ukexpat (talk) 15:21, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

Elena Miscodan

Elena Miscodan User:DianaTocu/Elena_Miscodan DianaTocu (talk) 17:07, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

Please take a look at the notability guidelines for living people set out at WP:BIO. You will have to cite non-trivial coverage in multiple reliable sources independent of the subject. Also take a look at WP:BLP1E, it's going to be hard to argue that this anything other than one event. – ukexpat (talk) 18:45, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

Feedback - European Educational Exchanges-Youth for Understanding

Hi,

A few weeks ago I created a new page on Wikipedia for the organisation that I work for. It still has not been reviewd and as such still has the tag at the top of the page. Please can someone review it so that the tag can be removed. The name of the page is: European Educational Exchanges-Youth for Understanding (EEE-YFU).

Many thanks,

EEE-YFU —Preceding unsigned comment added by 217.136.253.131 (talk) 16:35, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

Please make sure you are logged-in when you edit! First, please read WP:COI - you are strongly discouraged from creating or editing articles where you have a conflict of interest. Second, the article contains no references to demonstrate how or why the organization is notable per the guidelines at WP:ORG - you need to cite non-trivial coverage in multiple sources independent of the subject. Third, the article is very promotional in tone and will have to be toned down. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 16:55, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

Jamie McCartney

User:Vitaled/Jamie McCartney

Jamie McCartney is sn artist and sculptor living and working in Brighton. He has achieved notoriety through his sculptures created form casts of the human body. His latest work 'The Great Wall of Vagina' is due to be finished this month.

Vitaled (talk) 20:38, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

The subject appears to meet the notability guidelines at WP:BIO and WP:ARTIST. However, the article is rather promotional in tone and full of peacock terms and other hyperbole that will have to be toned down, in particular the "recognition" section is unnecessary. There are also some formatting issues: you should use the {{Cite web}} and {{Cite news}} templates for your references rather than bare URLs; the lists should be formatted as bulleted lists by putting a * at the beginning of each line; you only need one empty line between paragraphs; you should not link to any page on his website except the main page and generally the list of external links is way too long, see WP:ELNO. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 20:51, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

New Article - Eyes in the Dark film

I started an article for a 2010 movie Eyes in the Dark.User:Anakin 99/Eyes in the Dark I believe it is almost ready to be made public and that I have good reference web links, but I am not sure if I did the references properly. I would appreciate some review and feedback since it is the first article I have started myself.

Thank you.

Anakin 99 (talk) 20:17, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

Please take a look at WP:NFILMS - despite the references, the subject does not meet the notability guidelines for films. – ukexpat (talk) 18:37, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

Hungary-Slovakia relations

Hungary–Slovakia_relations

There seems to be a disagreement over which version of the article is better. The new one is significantly shorter, but that is due to a large amount of unnecessary info included in the previous version. Any opinions welcome.

A vote section I created [3].

The versions in question

1. - longer version [4]

2. - the new, shortened one [5]

diff: [6]

Wladthemlat (talk) 13:52, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

This is not the place for content disputes, you should probably take this to WP:THIRD. Thanks. -Reconsider! 04:08, 9 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Mikemahalo/Human Design

This is my first attempt at an article. There was a previous article named Human Design System that was deleted, I have since found out that was sponsored by the originator and had problems with bias and commercial interest, and possibly copyright. http://deletionpedia.dbatley.com/w/index.php?title=Human_Design_System And this is WHY it was deleted http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Articles_for_deletion/Human_Design_System

I wrote my first version here on my own blog www.humandesignblog.com - http://mikemahalo.vox.com/library/post/ideas-for-wikipedia-article-on-human-design.html

however clearly wikipedia needs a different style so I started again with references, and left out most of the content.

The most obvious reference is not allowed, the personal Facebook of Ra Uru Hu, so I had to think, what references are verifiable, and the remaining facts were just that this exists, over here, you can look, it claims this and that, and there are so many websites and online communities, and now an independent book.

I would like to include more details of WHAT Human Design says, but these are not within wiki style, as far as I can see, and most of my first attempt and that of the deleted entry are not suitable, perhaps. Mikemahalo (talk) 09:52, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

Well, I think the biggest problem you have at this point is a lack of verifiable and reliable sources. The BBC page is the closest, but I believe that's essentially a forum (since it seems that anyone can sign up and start a conversation). Without good sources, I do not think this article would remain in mainspace for very long. --Nuujinn (talk) 19:48, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for your comment Nuujinn. I believe the fact that Harper Collins have published the first independent book on Human Design is the new key that establishes Human Design on the wikipedia map. I just realised, it is not only the birth day, but the solar birth hour of the originator of Human Design, Ra Uru Hu. By coincidence, the moon is in a place that gives me unusual confidence and energy, to succeed where others fail, and my mood, you understand, is carpe diem. I am posting in mainspace and ready with my water pistol to defend my baby..

Mikemahalo (talk) 02:15, 9 April 2010 (UTC)

Best of luck, but do keep in mind that once in mainspace, she's not your baby any more. My motto is carpe carp, and it's rather wet out tonight, so perhaps fortune smiles upon you! —Preceding unsigned comment added by Nuujinn (talk • contribs) 03:22, 9 April 2010 (UTC)

thanks - thank you - merci .... mercy!! Mikemahalo (talk) 12:04, 9 April 2010 (UTC)

Adeyer Sportif

The Adeyer Sportif is a rare Australian car that many have heard of but few know details about. This article will be, as far as i am able to determine, pretty much the only online information available at this time. Too many forums have misinformation from unreliable sources regarding this vehicle. Ignatzmax (talk) 14:13, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

It is a bit of a rough start. The tone is very conversational and needs to be reworked to a more neutral tone. But you need to work first on the references. I realize it may be counter-intuitive, but the car in your driveway does not count as a reference. The Wheels magazine you mention would be a good start, but you'll need to fill out the citation with the author, name of article, page numbers, etc. See the article on inline citations for a simple example. If you need more help, ask here or on my talk page, hope that helps, --Nuujinn (talk) 19:58, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Ignatzmax/Adeyer Sportif Too much like hard work so Im not going to bother with it then. The ONLY information i have EVER found in the last 5 or so years of looking, is in the one copy of wheels magazine that i found by accident. Since there is no more info anywhere else, the subject and car will die and fade into obscurity. I dont have time or the inclination to make information about a rare car sound more like a checklist. The info i posted was reworked from the magazine and what they did was suitable for the general public, so delete, erase, dispose of or do whatever to this information cos its fine to me. I dont really care. Ignatzmax (talk) 13:44, 9 April 2010 (UTC)

Joey Allcorn

{{done}} ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 02:03, 23 May 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Dr._Magnifico/Joey_Allcorn

Page for indie alt-country artist Joey Allcorn, singer/songwriter from Columbus, GA who's collaborators include Hank III, Don Helms, Lloyd Green and Johnny Hiland. This is my first attempt at Wikipedia authoring; let me know what you think. Thanks,

Dr. Magnifico (talk) 21:54, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

 Possible Needs some things:

• Only refer to something with a link once
• Remove the redlinks
• Use the {{cite web}} function to make proper references.

A good start though.  A p3rson ‽ 14:49, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

Claire Buchar

{{done}} ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 02:04, 23 May 2010 (UTC) I would appreciate any feedback on the following article

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claire_Buchar

Many thanks —Preceding unsigned comment added by TinaEPO (talk • contribs) 15:09, 1 March 2010 (UTC)

A couple of things to consider:

• You need to have a lede.
• The first paragraph is not a paragraph, just a series of sentences. You should try to rework that into a narrative paragraph. Have a go at that and drop me a note on my talk page if you need some help.
• You refer to the subject of the article by her first name, this comes across as familiar and that suggests a particular point of view. My suggestion would be to use her surname.
• The article really needs a better set of references, I've put a few for consideration below (using google's news search in the archives is a good way to find references). You need a reference, for example, for her marriage.
• I think if you could both provide some more general biographical data and also try to place her in her professional context (rather than just listed races she's won), that would also help.

http://www.torontosun.com/sports/othersports/2009/09/07/10775296-sun.html

http://www.cyclingnews.com/races/australian-mountain-bike-national-championships-cn/downhill-elite-women/results

I realize this may seem like a long list of things to work on, so please contact me on my talk page if you feel daunted or need help. You have made a good start, and this can be a very good article if you keep at it. Nuujinn (talk) 15:56, 6 March 2010 (UTC)

Many thanks Nuujinn, I have made some edits and would appreciate additional feedback TinaEPO (talk) 17:41, 22 March 2010 (UTC)TinaEPOTinaEPO (talk) 17:41, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

I dropped by and made some edits, added a reference and cleaned up the prose a bit. It still needs work tho. Take a look at how I changed the references--if you name them, you don't have to repeat them and the list is cleaner. Let me know if you have any questions. --Nuujinn (talk) 13:19, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

SAA Architecure, LLC

{{done}} ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 02:07, 23 May 2010 (UTC)

SAA Architecture, LLC

Please review my article that was posted on Thursday March 4, 2010. Thanks!!

Wendyfables (talk) 20:02, 11 March 2010 (UTC) Wendyfables

I moved it to SAA Architecture in accordance with Wikipedia's naming conventions for companies. There are some issues as the tag indicates. I think it's a little promotional in tone - in particular the list of major projects is too long - I would list just a handful, preferably those that already have Wikipedia articles, if any (and link to them). Similarly for the awards section - trim it down to just major awards that the firm has won. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 21:46, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Wendyfables (talk) 11:26, 15 march 2010 (UTC) Wendyfables Thankyou for the feedback - i will make the suggested changes!

(Wendyfables (talk) 17:40, 16 March 2010 (UTC))I made more changes that were suggested. Can you please review again and consider removing the flags? Thank you! (Wendyfables (talk) 17:40, 16 March 2010 (UTC))

(Wendyfables (talk) 16:59, 29 March 2010 (UTC) I've made additional changes to the document (cleaned up the LEED link issue) and removed several lists - please remove the flags or explain where the neutrality is compromised. Thank you in advance. Wendyfables (talk) 21:00, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

The main issue I see is that the article purports to be about the firm, but the bulk of the text is about the owner of the firm, so this appears to be more a biography. And the references are flawed:

• The first is a link to Stephens bio on the firm's web site.
• The second is ok, but insufficient to establish notability of Stephens, and doesn't mention the firm (which the article is about).
• Third and Fourth are articles written by Stephens, but not about the firm--so these do not establish notability of either the author or the firm.
• Fifth is ok, but very promotional in tone akin to a press release.
• Sixth is a brochure for the award event, but doesn't mention SAA.
• Seventh is ok, but just a website, and has limited weight
• Eighth is a page listing years of Tilt Up Assc. awards, but SAA isn't listed there, it should be a more specific. Also, I note that Stephens is on the TCA board of directors, and that the awards are pretty narrow in scope.

What is needed here are some references that establish notability of the firm such as newspaper or magazine articles, and text about the firm's activities, rather than text about Stephens. Hope that helps. --Nuujinn (talk) 15:13, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

Anna Margaret from Starstruck

{{done}} ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 02:08, 23 May 2010 (UTC)

Hi, I'd like some help on writing an article about Anna Margaret from the Disney original movie Starstruck. I need more info and sources so if you can please check out my userspace draft and if there's anything you think I should add, let me know.

Here is the link: User:JRsingersongwriter/Anna Margaret

JRsingersongwriter —Preceding unsigned comment added by JRsingersongwriter (talk • contribs) 02:40, 17 March 2010 (UTC)

First of all, sorry to take so long to get back to you. The main problem you have is a lack of good references. Myspace pages and promotional material are not really reliable sources. What you need are newspaper or magazine articles, such as [|these]. Unfortunately, these are not enough, they only mention her in passing, and I think fail to establish her as a notable musician. Take a look at WP:NM for guidance on how to establish notability. Let me know on my talk page if you have any questions. --Nuujinn (talk) 13:39, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

DePaul University's Coleman Entrepreneurship Center

{{done}} ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 02:09, 23 May 2010 (UTC)

User:Becca Berkenstadt/DePaul University's Coleman Entrepreneurship Center —Preceding unsigned comment added by Becca Berkenstadt (talk • contribs) 22:30, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Well, a good start, but as you no doubt know, the article is too promotional. Some suggestions:

• The first reference, for DePaul, doesn't need to be a reference. Generally speaking, a wikilink is quite sufficient.
• The tone is very promotional, it really should be toned down. For example, I don't think the "become a member" link is a good reference. Phrases such as "Blueprint provides current DePaul students the support and encouragement they need to successfully launch and grow" sound as if they are from a promotion brochure, and wikipedia is not intended as advertising space.
• Rather than putting in external links such as the one to the Coleman center and Dr. Welsch, can you instead find an online reference that verifies the grant or the founder, and provide a citation to that?
• I suggest looking at the Wikipedia:Citation_templates#Examples for samples of better ways to format citations from newspapers and magazines.

Hope this helps, --Nuujinn (talk) 18:15, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

Dear Nuujinn,

Thank you for your insights. I will be sure to take them into account. You are very helpful.

Becca Berkenstadt (talk) 19:21, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Wales Live

{{done}} ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 02:10, 23 May 2010 (UTC)

Wales Live

Hi there,

Just looking any feedback on Wales Live wiki page....

Thanks a mil, Sarah

(1 April 2010). —Preceding unsigned comment added by Sarah McCaffrey (talk • contribs) 16:00, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

At the moment it is an advertisement masquerading as an article in breach of WP:SPAM, and I have tagged it for speedy deletion as such. The fact that it is written in the first person is a bit of a giveaway of its promotional intent. Are you by any chance connected with the company? If so please read WP:COI. Even if the promotional stuff can be edited out, it is unlikely (at the moment at least) to meet Wikipedia's notability guidelines at WP:CORP -- most things that are "...soon to be the..." are unlikely to have had the required non-trivial coverage in multiple reliable sources to meet the inclusion criteria. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 17:43, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Speedily deleted: ‎ (G11: Unambiguous advertising or promotion). – ukexpat (talk) 20:50, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

The article is back up and a speedy delete was declined. I have put it up for deletion at WP:AFD ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 23:39, 2 May 2010 (UTC)

I withdrew the nomination after another editor found extensive coverage and expanded the article. ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 10:54, 4 May 2010 (UTC)

Antonin Raymond Architect

{{done}} ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 02:11, 23 May 2010 (UTC)

I have substantially expanded this article on Antonin Raymond and would be grateful if someone could read it through and rate it. On the discussion page the previous author had added a Biography template, and I added Japan and Architecture one because I thought they were appropriate. Kenchikuben (talk) 13:20, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

This page has now had a peer review and no longer needs feedback here. Thanks Kenchikuben (talk) 05:47, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

Ultimate Software

{{done}} ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 02:14, 23 May 2010 (UTC)

I kindly ask for your review of Ultimate Software User:Dporcaro/Ultimate_Software. It is a public company with many sources of notability that should be added to Wikipedia.

Your time and thoughts are greatly appreciated.

Thank you, Dporcaro (talk) 21:31, 9 April 2010 (UTC)Desiree Porcaro April 9, 2010

First please read WP:COI - in your position as "SEO/Social Media Specialist at Ultimate Software", you clearly have a conflict of interest and are strongly advised not to create or edit articles where you have a conflict. Second, as a NASDAQ listed company the subject almost certainly meets the notability criteria set out at WP:CORP, however the article is rather spammy (referring to the company's products as "solutions",and using the circle-R are Marketing 101) and the list of "Recognition" is too long and should be limited to nationally recognised awards from major publications or institutions. Please take a look at articles for other major companies to see how they balance the good and bad. There are other outlets such as WikiCompany. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 14:50, 12 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Sngha2/Midmac

{{done}} ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 02:15, 23 May 2010 (UTC)

Summary of the MIDMAC bridge bidding system, including Complete Hand Valuation. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Sngha2 (talk • contribs) 14:24, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

I think there is the basis of a worthwhile article here but it needs work in a couple of areas. First it reads like a how-to, which is explicitly what Wikipedia is not. Take a look at articles on other bidding systems such as Acol and model you draft on those. The Acol article will also give you some hints about appropriate layout. The second area is notability. The draft may just barely reach the threshold with the citation of two books, but you really need more references if you can find them, coverage in Bridge magazines, websites etc, and citations should use one of the appropriate templates such as {{Cite book}} or {{Cite journal}}. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 14:12, 12 April 2010 (UTC)