Jump to content

Wikipedia:Peer review/Whipping Tom/archive1

Add links
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Whipping Tom

[edit]
Toolbox
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

Someone emailed me about this a couple of weeks ago and it looked interesting enough to have a bit of a re-write. It's another of London's 'footnotes to footnotes of history', which carries some interest for its odd and interesting content. This has been through a rewrite recently, mostly with additions of new sources published since it was originally written. A visit to FAC is a possibility, but we'll see. - SchroCat (talk) 16:39, 5 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Gog the Mild

[edit]
  • "He was sentenced to imprisonment for one year, where he was to be birched twice a week by two maids." Suggest "where" → 'during which'.
  • "and then made to run the gauntlet through two hundred women on his release." Suggest 'and on his relaese made to run the gauntlet through two hundred women.
  • "His likely first attack". USvar alert!
  • There seem to be a lot of short paragraphs.
    There are, but 'new point, new paragraph' leads to that. I could combine them if you think it would be better? - SchroCat (talk) 11:27, 6 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
    Inserting Riley oar: I subscribe strongly to the "new point, new para" doctrine and hate it when two unconnected themes are rammed into a single para simply to avoid having short paras. Tim riley talk 14:17, 6 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • A high proportion of the text is quotation: the MoS suggests in MOS:QUOTE that "While quotations are an indispensable part of Wikipedia, try not to overuse them. Using too many quotes is incompatible with an encyclopedic writing style ... It is generally recommended that content be written in Wikipedia editors' own words. Consider paraphrasing quotations into plain and concise text when appropriate"."
  • "along with several contemporary pamphlets and poems." About the events?

More to follow. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:05, 5 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

  • "during the Stuart Restoration." I thought the Stuart Restoration was a point in time rather than an extended period. Including something published 21 years after the restoration seems to me to be stretching things.
    No, it's a period. I know it's not reliable, but our own article has "The term is also used to describe the reign of Charles II (1660–1685), and sometimes that of his younger brother James II (1685–1688)", but it does reflect the sources when it says that. - SchroCat (talk) 19:52, 5 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "at that time a village north of London." How far?
  • The MoS on quotations: "[t]he source must be named in article text if the quotation is an opinion". Emphasis in original.
Gah! I can't find it either. I assume that I imagined it. Sorry.
  • "then in a violent and unmerciful many". Is "many" a typo for 'way'?
  • Hamerton is introduced twice.
  • "new year". Upper-case initial letters?

Nice. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:42, 5 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for these Gog: I'll make a start on them tomorrow. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 19:52, 5 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
Hi Schro. On my infrequent visits to PR I employ a seagull approach. So (sorry Tim) feel free to ping me if you want a further opinion. Although I may find this tricky unless I know what level you are aspiring to; in review above, having skimmed the article and being aware of your track record I had my FAC hat on. Gog the Mild (talk) 15:16, 6 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
That's great. The aim is probably to go for FAC, unless anyone pipes up and comes up with good reasons why it shouldn't, so the stronger the review the better. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 17:37, 6 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

1989

[edit]

Placeholder. 1989 (talk) 03:18, 6 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from TR

[edit]
  • "Hackney, then a rural village outside London" – are there non-rural villages? (Some say London is a series of villages, but you see what I mean.)
  • "This attacker would approach lone women in the countryside" – well, if the attacks were in London and a village I don't think you can call that the countryside.
  • "Whipping-Tom, imagined in 1684" – I strongly recommend asking the miracle-workers at Wikipedia:Graphics Lab/Photography workshop to smarten this image up so that one can see it properly without the print-through of the text from the next page. It wouldn't hurt to have the 1679 image cleaned up a bit too.
  • "It was reported that he approaches his victims" – unless "approaches" is within a quote it needs to be in the past tense.
  • "The description of a 'tall black man'" – I have absolutely no comment to make at this point.
  • "some people attributed him with supernatural powers" – reads a bit oddly. Perhaps "credited" rather than "attributed"?
  • "indictment comprised" – not wild about "comprised". Something like "According to his indictment..." or similar, maybe?

Those are my few comments on the prose. As to the content:

  • I wonder if it is worth mentioning that in those long-skirted days women did not normally wear nether undergarments? I think they came in during the early 19th century, though I'm not sure. Certainly their absence would have facilitated Whipping Tom's activities a little.
  • Not sure about the separate section for "Primary sources" in the Sources section. I don't recall seeing such a thing before and I'm not sure what purpose it serves.
On to FAC I'd say. Tim riley talk 20:19, 6 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from MS

[edit]
I agree. MSincccc (talk) 17:42, 6 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • SchroCat The rest of the article is fine. I will return later if I can suggest any additions/improvements. MSincccc (talk) 14:38, 6 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • A third attacker nicknamed "Whipping Tom" was active in late 1712 in Hackney, then a village outside London. "Hackney" could be de-linked here as it has been already linked above in the lead.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Peer_review/Whipping_Tom/archive1&oldid=1267824171"