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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Gog the Mild via FACBot (talk) 16 December 2024 [1].

Maxwell's Silver Hammer

[edit]
Nominator(s): BernaBotto (talk) 01:59, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hey! That's my first FAC here on enwiki, so sorry if i made any mistakes. I wrote this article on ptwiki and translated all the informations to here, I think is ready to figure on the main page. BernaBotto (talk) 01:59, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

@Nikkimaria:  Done! BernaBotto (talk) 04:38, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose. Unfortunately this is a mixture of some basic mistakes and some poor grammar. Although the basic mistakes can be fixed as part of FAC, I suggest you withdraw this and work on it before going through the peer review process before returning. A few examples (and these are only examples):
    • "who commits murders with a hammer, with the dark lyrics": comma splice
    • "the canadian band The Bells": it's a capital 'C' for Canadian and The Bells is a disambiguation page
    • "canadian Adult": Capital C
    • " comedian Steve Martin,[8] Frankie Laine also": comma splice
    • "in early 1968, McCartney": First mention in the body, so the full name
    • There is not one link in this first paragraph of this article. Rishikesh, Paul McCartney, The Beatles, The White Album, Alfred Jarry, BBC Radio, Radio Times, Many Years From Now, Royal Court Theatre, Sloane Square, Max Wall, Jane Asher, David Hockney, John Lennon, Ringo Starr, George Harrison and Get Back sessions are all available, but unused.
    • Still in that first paragraph, "many of The Beatles' songs" should have a lower case 't'
    • There is no formatting in the first paragraph, so: The White Album should be in italics, as should Ubu Cocu, Ubu Cuckolded, Radio Times Ubu Roi and King Ubu
    • Why do you refer to the same album as The White Album and The Beatles - this will confuse those who don't know it has two names
    • "The song's roots go back even further": Well why did you start in 1968, then introduce material from 1966? Chronological is normally the smoothest way to go
    • There are way too many superfluous details in the paragraph. Do we really need to know McCartney was driving an Aston in '66? It didn't affect the 'birth' of the song. Neither did the fact that Hockney designed the sets for a play McCartney saw.
    • 'Just as the name "Mitchell" may have morphed earlier into "Michelle"'; I have no idea what this is about. There is no reference to either Mitchell or Michelle in the rest of the article
    • "Harrison had temporarily left the band on those Twickenham cinema day": I have no idea what a "Twickenham cinema day" is supposed to be
  • This is all from the last para of the lead and the first para of the Background, and I haven't even started looking properly. Flicking down the page there are further problems that need addressing, but this is all going way outside what FAC is supposed to be for and into what PR should be dealing with. I strongly suggest you withdraw and work on this further. - SchroCat (talk) 08:02, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
This clearly isn't moving towards a consensus to promote, so I am going to archive it for work to be done on it off-FAC. The usual two-week hiatus for nominating any article to FAC will apply. Gog the Mild (talk) 14:45, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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