User talk:RunIowa/sandbox
Peer Editing
[edit]For the reference of any of our Global Youth Studies class editors: I added the sections entitled "Practical Applications for Social Divisions" and "Models of Implementation," as well as the image. I also rearranged some information throughout the article and added links within Wikipedia. RunIowa (talk) 03:56, 3 November 2014 (UTC)
Good work!
[edit]You choose an interesting topic! I had not heard of Postive youth development until I read your sandbox. It looks like you have done a lot of good work organizing the article and linking it to other pages.
Here are some more specific observations and suggestions I have after reading through the article:
- Don’t forget that the entire title of a section is not capitalized, so it should be “Practical applications for social divisions”
- Good job paring down the lead paragraph, Abby told me this was a good thing! It may be a little sparse now, so you may want to add one more sentence or so for clarification, possibly something about how PYD individually directs its resources to help youth with specific needs?
- I am a bit confused between how the Origins and Background sections are different. Do you think that adjusting either the names of these headings or re-ordering them would help differentiate these sections? It may just be my lack of understanding the topic, but I can’t see how origins and background are separate entities.
- I would also consider renaming the section titled “Description” because this seems too similar to what the lead paragraph is trying to accomplish. Maybe “Goals” or “Engaging youth development” would explain the topic of this section more efficiently?
- I don’t think you need the Chinese example under the key constructs section. It seems a bit out of place and you address this later on in the “Models of implementation” section
- I would try to use headers for the different regions outlined in the “Models of implementation” section rather than bullet points because that seems more cohesive with Wikipedia formatting
- I would also add more examples under the Europe section unless you just change “Europe” to “Portugal” and maybe add a separate section on North America as well
Overall this is a well-written article. Let me know if you have any questions about my suggestions. Good luck!--Locke Perkins (talk) 00:47, 7 November 2014 (UTC)
Nice dude
[edit]Hey everything looks really good in your article. I didn't make too many edits because I thought it was all pretty good. Sorry for the tardiness but nice work dude.