User talk:Rskovach/sandboxMain

This article is the subject of an educational assignment at Georgetown University supported by the Wikipedia Ambassador Program during the 2012 Q1 term. Further details are available on the course page.

Feedback about Budapest Museum Quarter article

This was initially a project for a graduate Art & Ethics class. Please post any comments regarding the draft Budapest Museum Quarter article here. Thanks! Rskovach (talk) 15:36, 6 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Sandbox article - review

Hi. I have taken a look at your sandbox article. Overall, it appears well-written and encyclopedic, but there were some issues that I'd like to point out:

Section 1.2 - First paragraph: The subsection goes into a description of the Fidesz party without explaining why that matters; it is better to start using something like "upon the election of (the two-thirds majority) Fidesz party in 2010 ... the government began a 'hands-on policy'". The main focus is the proposed museum project, not the history of Hungary's government.
The line, "It was also suggested" is ambiguous because it does not mention who suggested these allegations...the watchdog? The museum? Or the public?
Be sure to watch for the presence of any weasel words, e.g. some people say that these policies are the worst in history.
Section 2.3 - Second paragraph: "Baán is no stranger to criticism nor controversy" - the tone of this particular paragraph leans more toward a newspaper editorial-style writing, rather than typical encyclpedic tone.
Section 3.2 - It is a good idea to link junk status (currently a redirect to "high-yield debt", a form of credit rating) so that readers unfamiliar with economics are not confused about the nature of this statement.
It may be a good idea to include an opening sentence or paragraph introducing the fact that similar places exist worldwide.
A minor typographical note: instead of keyboard hyphens, the use of the en dash (& ndash ; –)
and em dash (& mdash ; —) are available through wiki-syntax.
The remaining issues are minor grammatical errors, i.e. state owned → state-owned, it's → its (Section 3.4 last paragraph, a common error), and Section 2.1: "a Fidesz campaign platform during to the 2010 elections" – fix this.
Comment: where I live, it is more common to say "tourist site" than "touristic site", though there is likely great variation in different English-speaking parts of the world – is "touristic" more common where you're from?

Overall, the article is well-cited and well-formated using a variety of sources, and is almost ready for mainspace (immediate publishing). Your first article may also have relevant guidelines. Hope this helps! ~AH1 ^(discuss!) 03:11, 7 March 2012 (UTC) — Preceding unsigned comment added by Rskovach (talk • contribs) [reply]