User talk:Giovannys0914/sandbox

Maria Rizwan

-It seems like you have the basic headers down and that's great

-I thought that we were meant to start typing up the details this time around though

- The Abstract can use some more depth to it as well

-Perhaps once you begin typing on the topic it'll be nice to add some pics if you can find any Mariarizwan100 (talk) 17:20, 13 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Maria, it looks like someone has corrected some of my work, which is why some information was missing. Giovannys0914 (talk) 23:50, 8 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Dr. Weiner

It looks like you you did your work directly on the topic page. This was not the correct way to do this. You should NOT put anything on the real page until final revisions. You will not get proper comments from students and changes have already been made to your work. I have done you the favor of copying back the version that you put there to your page, but one student reviewer already commented. DO NOT make any further edits on the final page until specifically instructed.
Good use of preexisting photos.
Every piece of information needs a citation. If you took all the info in a paragraph from one place you can just cite at the end of the paragraph, but no paragraph should be uncited and there should not be a sentence after the last citation.
Needs some editing for spelling, clarity, and grammar. If you need help with this, I encourage you to go to the writing center!
"are a little more moderate in severity" doesn't make sense
I like the symptom table!
Link HEAVILY to other wikipedia pages. The first time you use a term, it should be linked. You have a good start, but need a lot more.
Make sure the language is approachable. Some of this uses unnecessary jargon or is excessively complicated.
"Although there is no true reasoning" is not the same as "we don't know the details of the mechanism"
Diagnosis and treatment read like patient advice. It should read like a report. Look at other wikipedia articles to compare. Prognosis also has some of this issue.
There is some recent research discussing related issues with covid vaccine. Include what you can in recent research. The section is required and there is some out there.

Sweiner02 (talk) 04:01, 16 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Lauryn Frichtl

The setup looks very nice and I was easily able to follow along
Symptom table is really nice!
Add more hyperlinks
Use Grammarly/spell check
Modify language so it’s not so complex

192.175.17.38 (talk) 19:24, 18 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Lauryn,

Thank you for your comments, I have edited my page following your comments and I was able to hyperlink more, I double checked my spellinga nd grammar, and I have edited some of the language. Giovannys0914 (talk) 16:13, 10 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hanna Saba

Your draft is very informative. I really liked the detail you put in the symptoms, causes, and mechanisms.
Under the symptoms and mechanisms topics you had some typos. So I would make sure to proof read those topics one more time. Other than that they look good.
Under the Epidemiology topic I would elaborate on why the similar cases in Europe were not considered ORS.
I feel like more citations should be used. For example, under mechanisms you said "Although studies show that patients with elevated IL-10 and IL-3 are predisposed to contracting ORS, the elevated amounts of these cells are in line with the symptoms patients have presented with." I would make sure to back these up with citations.

Hsaba01 (talk) 01:18, 19 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Hanna,

Thank you for your comments, I fixed the typos and I added more citations. Regarding the epidemiology section I did not add the reason why in Europe the cases were not ORS because for the information I found it was some respitory symptoms linked to the flu vaccine and there was not enough research to why this was happening. I also did not really think it fit that much with the topic of ORS. Giovannys0914 (talk) 16:29, 10 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]