Template:Did you know nominations/Rolf Schweizer

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Allen3 ^talk 08:26, 18 September 2015 (UTC)

Rolf Schweizer

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~~... that church music director Rolf Schweizer composed new songs published in hymnals and conducted works by Bach with the Motettenchor Pforzheim and the orchestra L'arpa festante?~~

ALT ... that composer Rolf Schweizer promoted church music's engagement with trends in secular music, especially jazz?
Reviewed: Miller Run

Created by Dr. Blofeld (talk) and Furius (talk). Nominated by Gerda Arendt (talk) at 21:35, 27 July 2015 (UTC).

(@Gerda Arendt:) Article is new enough and long enough (exceeds 2,000 characters). QPQ checks out. I'm assuming good faith on the German translation, but don't see obvious copyright problems. What needs work is the hook and BLP citations. The hook, while under 200 characters, still reads cumbersome, and does not seem to have broad interest. More critical is the uncited paragraphs: The one beginning "Rolf Schweizer is one of the leaders of the Contemporary worship music genre", and the entire Personal life section lack inline citations (contra WP:BLP), and the claim that his songs "appear in almost all Christian German hymnals" begs some specificity as well as citation (almost all in the past few decades? almost all ever made? what exactly does "almost all" mean?). There should be at least one reliable citation per paragraph. Lastly, I'm not really sure of the purpose of the quote from Schweizer, without context it seems like aggrandizement. --Animalparty! (talk) 06:02, 19 August 2015 (UTC)

Passing the ping to those who actually wrote the article, Dr. Blofeld, Furius. - Sorry I have no time to deal with the sourcing - the typical problem if you translate from German - myself, RL, --Gerda Arendt (talk) 11:16, 19 August 2015 (UTC)

I was responsible for the initial translation from de.wiki, but it's really not my area. Schweizer's daughter's position is attested here: [1] (paywall), this page reports his retirement and the name of his wife: [ http://www.badische-zeitung.de/freiamt/abschied-fuer-rolf-schweizer--30293453.html], contextual information on his place in the choral music world is here [2]. Will incorporate into the article asap. Agree that the quote should go. Furius (talk)

Have integrated the above and stripped out the chaff. Furius (talk) 01:20, 28 August 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for that, Furius. The sourcing is now BLP compliant. Can you do anything about the hook? I think a hook with broader appeal (more interesting) might reference the honorary citizenship. Alternatively a more streamlined version of the original might simply omit "composed new songs published in hymnals and". --Animalparty! (talk) 02:30, 28 August 2015 (UTC)

How about "that Rolf Schweizer promoted church music's engagement with trends in secular music, especially jazz?" or something of that sort? Furius (talk) 08:32, 28 August 2015 (UTC)

I like that hook, although the article currently doesn't clearly state that, so some minor addition/clarification to the article is in order. --Animalparty! (talk) 23:12, 28 August 2015 (UTC)

@Dr. Blofeld:, @Furius: - have you managed to make any progress with this? Prioryman (talk) 11:14, 11 September 2015 (UTC)

Progess with what? Sorry, I shut off from problematic DYK noms. Thanks to Gerda for nomming it though.♦ Dr. Blofeld 12:32, 11 September 2015 (UTC)4

I think the article does clearly state the hook? Furius (talk) 10:33, 12 September 2015 (UTC)

@Animalparty: it appears that Furius made an update to the article on September 3 that may address your concern about the proposed hook from August 28. Can you please check? Many thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 03:32, 14 September 2015 (UTC)

Sorry for my absence. The ALT hook is now adequately cited, and is good to go. I've moved it to the main nom and struck the first. --Animalparty! (talk) 19:00, 17 September 2015 (UTC)