Template:Did you know nominations/Park Appeal

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by PFHLai (talk) 01:00, 25 October 2013 (UTC)

Park Appeal

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~~... that Thoroughbred racehorse Park Appeal was sold to Sheikh Mohammed for an undisclosed fee after winning the Cheveley Park Stakes at Newmarket?~~

Reviewed: Not a self-nom.

Created by Tigerboy1966 (talk). Nominated by Finnegas (talk) at 20:39, 5 September 2013 (UTC).

New enough, long enough, adequately referenced, no close paraphrasing seen. Per DYK rules, there should be at least one citation in each paragraph; this is not the case in the paragraph under Assessment. Also, only some of her successful foals are cited; where did you find the other names?
The hook seems a little flat. If Sheikh Mohammed is important, perhaps you could work the hook around him more (is it hooky that the Sheikh bought an Irish thoroughbred?). Alternately, it is interesting that the fillie produced "at least 9 winners from 12 foals". But this statement would have to be referenced if you use it for the hook. Best, Yoninah (talk) 19:51, 9 October 2013 (UTC)

Jenny Lake, Sherwood and Pazienza were unraced. Their existence is confirmed by Racing Post and Equibase, I just didn't think it was worth putting in another ref to say "this horse existed". I have added ref to "Assessment": the absence was definitely an oversight on my part, so thank for pointing this out. Tigerboy1966 22:33, 9 October 2013 (UTC)

OK, and what about the hook? (BTW the hook fact needs to have a citation next to it in the text, per DYK rules) Yoninah (talk) 19:11, 10 October 2013 (UTC)

Perhaps something aout being descended from the Byerley Turk sire line? Finnegas (talk) 08:46, 18 October 2013 (UTC)

I was hoping that someone else would write an alt; otherwise I can't approve my own hook. Here is my suggestion:
ALT1: ~~... that Irish Thoroughbred racehorse Park Appeal, purchased by Sheikh Mohammed in 1984, produced at least nine winners from twelve foals?~~ Yoninah (talk) 22:18, 19 October 2013 (UTC)

ALT1 looks pretty good—I think it would be even better to add that Park Appeal was a winner, too, and with 134 characters there's room for a few more words—but a cite is needed for at least one of Cape Cross's victories for all nine race-winning offspring to be sourced as winners. I've struck the original hook because I agree it's flat, including "undisclosed fee". BlueMoonset (talk) 17:00, 22 October 2013 (UTC)

I've added a reference to a published source accessible via google books to one of Cape Cross's victories. Baldy Bill (sharpen the razor|see my reflection) 19:31, 23 October 2013 (UTC)

Thanks, Baldy Bill. Here is an updated alt, per BlueMoonset:
ALT2: ... that Thoroughbred racehorse Park Appeal, one of the leading two-year-old fillies of 1984, was purchased as a broodmare by Sheikh Mohammed and produced at least nine winners from twelve foals? Yoninah (talk) 21:04, 23 October 2013 (UTC)

ALT2 review: Length and format correct; leading filly claim cited in Timeform ref, purchase by sheikh in same ref, AGF as offline and industry specialist publisher; all 9 winning foals cited. Article approval per review above by Yoninah, good to go. Baldy Bill (sharpen the razor|see my reflection) 18:27, 24 October 2013 (UTC)