Template:Did you know nominations/Michaela DePrince

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:23, 22 July 2012 (UTC)

Michaela DePrince

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*... that ballet dancer Michaela DePrince (shown in the video) became orphaned after her father was shot and her mother starved to death?

• Reviewed: Erling Steen
• Comment: Short, but interesting in that it is accompanied by a high-quality freely licensed video. If the proposed hook is deemed too much of a tear-jerker, it has the potential for other interesting hooks.

Created/expanded by Sandstein (talk). Self nom at 09:04, 17 July 2012 (UTC)

• Long enough, new, generally seems to follow guidelines. It could do with a bit more linking from other pages, but that will evolve anyway as more people see the article. There are problems with the literal meaning and what the reader might think. "After" - she became an orphan when her two parents died (or even more precisely, when the second parent died), not afterwards - she didn't have three parents! Also, it sounds a bit like she became a ballet dancer, and then lost her parents after her career had already started. So i'm proposing two alternatives:

• ALT1: ... that ballet dancer Michaela DePrince (shown in the video) has been an orphan since her father was shot and her mother starved to death when she was an infant?
• ALT2: ... that Sierra Leone Civil War orphan Michaela DePrince (shown in the video) became a ballet dancer?

I would tend to go for ALT2. A civil war is enough to explain dramatic deaths, and better reference the particular civil war we're talking about. ALT1 still sounds a bit tabloidy - we don't realise that this is related to a geopolitical event, rather than a random pair of tragedies. In any case, both of these are properly inline sourced in the article. A minor thing: some people might not know what a ballet dancer is - or might want to know more, so i've linked it. Either ALT1 or ALT2 would be ready to go IMHO, though I prefer ALT2 - which is also shorter. Boud (talk) 00:15, 21 July 2012 (UTC)