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Talk:William Trench, 5th Earl of Clancarty/GA2

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 18:37, 2 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]


Happy to review the article.

Review comments

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Initial comments

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There are comments from the previous GA review that have not been addressed, and which can cause this nomination to be failed quickly. The comments are:

  • "nobleman from the Dutch nobility," nobleman from nobility? Repetitive.
  • Lead feels like it could be expanded to a couple more sentences.
  • "He was born..." normally biographies re-iterate the name of the subject in the opening sentence of the first para of the main body of the article.
  • Background seems to be in the wrong place for me.
  • "The story of the early relationship..." unref.

Please address these comments. Amitchell125 (talk) 09:58, 3 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Lead section/ infobox

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  • This a relatively short article, and I’m not convinced it needs an infobox. Thoughts?
  • Link Irish peer (Peerage of Ireland); affidavit; adultery.
  • A photograph of William Frederick Le Poer Trench – is the caption actually needed?
  • The lead section needs to be expanded so as to make it a proper summary of the text in the article (mentioned in GA1).

1 Background

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  • Link diplomat
  • a prominent member – ‘a member’? (see MOS:PUFFERY)

2 Early life

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  • Link second lieutenant.

3 1889–1891 and the cause célèbre

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  • Link burlesque; impresario .
  • , who strongly objected to the marriage, - consider using dashes instead of commas.

4 Later life

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  • Link vault (Burial vault (tomb)).
  • Trench had also served – ‘Trench served’?
  • He went bankrupt in 1910, dying in 1929. These facts sound connected here, if they are not, they need to be in separate sentences.
  • The image of the cemetery adds nothing to the article imo, and also causes an issue with sandwiching. I would leave it out.

5 Family

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  • Link music hall.

7 References

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  • Link Charles Mosley (Charles Mosley (genealogist)); Sheffield Daily Telegraph (Sheffield Telegraph).
  • The Role of the peerage (Ref2) – is the quote needed?
  • Sheffield DT (Ref12) has no access date, and needs a subscription needed tag.
  • Cite the Wikisource (Ref4) correctly using the {{cite wikisource|chapter=Clancarty, Earl of|wslink=Thom's Irish Who's Who|plaintitle=Thom's Irish Who's Who|last=|first=|year=|publisher=|page=|wspage=|scan=}}.

More to follow. Amitchell125 (talk) 10:58, 3 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Other comments

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Additional sources to consider using:

On hold

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I'm putting the article on hold for a week until 11 June to allow time for the issues raised to be addressed. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 16:10, 3 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Fail

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The article has had to be failed due to a lack of response by the nominator. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:54, 11 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

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