Talk:Tyler Skaggs/GA1
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Reviewer: Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk · contribs) 00:37, 24 March 2021 (UTC)
Might take me a few days, but I've been writing so many articles myself lately, it seems only fair that I get some of these reviewed. Happy to give this a look! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 00:37, 24 March 2021 (UTC)
Had more time than I was expecting this evening! Here are my comments.
For the section headings under career, I think it would make more sense if they read “Los Angeles Angels (minor league system)”, “Arizona Diamondbacks (2012-2013)”, and “Los Angeles Angels (2014, 2016-2019)”. This will make clearer that the “second stint” was his first in the major leagues.
Done Changed "second stint" to "return", but added years and specified minor league turn.
Lead
I would remove “for an injury sustained in 2014” – slightly redundant and unnecessary detail for the lead.”and continued to miss” – “also missing” Also, take out “other” before injuries.”At the time of his death, Skaggs posted” – “Through June of 2019, Skaggs had posted” – This makes more sense chronologically, since we haven’t mentioned the death on this pass-through of his story yet.opiates to Skaggs, - take out comma afterwards, since next sentence is not an independent clause.- Done all of the above.
Early life
“referred to Skaggs as the best baseball player to attend the school” – called Skaggs the school’s best baseball player”- Done
Career
”2009 Major League Baseball draft” – “2009 Major League Baseball (MLB) draft” – to set up the abbreviation later on”in the same round as” – “in the same round as other Angel draft picks””Skaggs made” – “The pitcher made” – that way, three sentences in a row don’t start with “Skaggs””a 8-4” – “an 8-4”Also, that dash should probably be an m dash (you can type these from the edit box). I really don’t care about these, but other editors always correct me on them, so I’m guessing that’s the way it’s supposed to be done.”19 appearances, including 14 starts,” – “19 appearances (14 starts)””it could not be officiated” – “it could not become official” – the way it is now implies it is a sporting event being reviewed by a referee.”after Skaggs signed his contract” – “after Skaggs had signed his contract””Across both teams” – “Between the Kernels and the Silver Hawks””was 9–5, with a” – “was 9-5, and he posted a””was 9–6, with a 2.96 ERA,” – “was 9—6, and he posted a 2.96 ERA”Why not mention the game where he got his first major league win? Seems like a pretty big deal.- Because I am dumb and forgot to include that he won his first MLB start!
”and 5.83 ERA” – “and a 5.83 ERA”More detail on his 2013 season? Was he injured (and making rehab starts for the rawhide)? What were his season stats?”He had a” – “Skaggs had a””Skaggs left a potential no-hitter” – tell how long the no-hitter had been going for.”and elected to miss the 2015 season” – “and elected to delay his return until the beginning of the 2016 season” – after all, he might have missed all of 2015 anyway.”between the major and minor leagues, and finished 3–4 with a 4.17 ERA” – “between the major and minor leagues, posting a 3–4 record with a 4.17 ERA for the Angels.”Please provide his stats for the 2017 and 2018 seasons. You may want to make them a separate paragraph from 2019.” At the time of his death” – “Through the end of June”” Across his professional baseball career” – “For his major league career”- Done all of the above
Pitching Style
Link minor league at first mention (which is back in the Diamondbacks section—sorry, I just caught this)
Already done
Link changeup at first mention (earlier in paragraph)- Done Whoops, holdover from before I rearranged that section
Personal life
” and was a resident of his native Santa Monica until his death” – take out the comma before this clause, and change to “and remained a resident of Santa Monica during his major league career.”Take out at the time of his death in the second sentence- Done all of the above
Death
End first sentence after Southlake, Texas, and begin next with “He was pronounced dead…”Take out the comma after system” was ruled as an accident” – take out as.Mention earlier in the article that he wore number 45; that will make the Corbin bit more understandable.
Partly done I couldn't find a non-awkward place to insert it in the body, so I just clarified in the sentence that Skaggs wore 45
- That makes sense. Works for me! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 17:03, 24 March 2021 (UTC)
- Done all the rest
References
For ref 11, italicize MLB.com, since that is the way it is done later.refs 40 and 50 are from the same source. Make the publisher information the same, and I don’t think three different CBS’s are needed.Make sure refs 46 and 56 have the same publisher information.On ref 52, take out the .com on ESPNItalicize MLB.com on ref 64List ESPN News Services as author for ref 65- Done all of the above
Misc
I would add in one or two more photos from commons, since there are some and we’ve got room.
Done
Once these are addressed, I'll look it over again, but it's looking pretty good so far! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 02:11, 24 March 2021 (UTC)
- Thank you so much for taking a look! I believe I've addressed all your edits, Sanfranciscogiants17! Kncny11 (shoot) 15:24, 24 March 2021 (UTC)
- Looks great now, passing. Excellent work! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 17:07, 24 March 2021 (UTC)