Talk:South Park: The Fractured but Whole/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: TheJoebro64 (talk · contribs) 16:32, 19 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I've watched the TV show but never played the game. Looks like a very interesting article. JOE BRO 64 16:32, 19 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Some elements of the game received mixed reviews; reviewers said the story was a hilarious improvement although the plot was less effective and overloaded with toilet humor. This is a bit clunky. For one thing, "story" and "plot" can mean the same thing, and only one thing that received mixed reception is shown. Proposed change: Reviewers were divided over the story; some critics called it a humorous improvement, while others said it was less effective and overloaded with toilet humor.
Overall, the lead is well-written and summarizes the article pretty well.

Gameplay

the fictional Colorado town of South Park—I'd link to Colorado
such as exploding chemical barrels, and red Lego—change to and lava (red Lego bricks). and remove the part in parenthesis in Toolshed's sandblaster can clear paths that are blocked by lava (red Lego bricks)
or take self-portraits with town residents to increase their followers on the player-character's Instagram-like social media feed, Coonstagram. This could be simplified; try or take self-portraits with town residents to increase their followers on Coonstagram, an Instagram-like social media feed.

Synopsis

Only comment I have is my concern about the image, in the files section below.

Development

or the possibility of making a film, including a new South Park movie. Reading the source, Trey Parker doesn't specify if the film is related to South Park—he just says "a movie". I'd strike the last part of the sentence.
I think it'd be worth mentioning that some of the superheroes originated from the 2009 South Park episode "The Coon". I'd add this to the writing sub-section.

Release

Amazon isn't linked when it's mentioned.
I'd spell out Penny Arcade Expo, as some people might not be familiar with it.
See my comments about the images below.

Reception

South Park: The Fractured but Whole received positive reviews from critics.[32] Aggregating review website Metacritic provides a score of 81 out of 100 from 16 critics for the Microsoft Windows version,[77] 80 out of 100 from 68 critics for the PlayStation 4 version,[78] and 84 out of 100 from 30 critics for the Xbox One version.[79] You don't need to list the Metacritic scores in prose—the qualitative summary ("generally favorable reviews") is more understandable and helpful on its own (WP:VGG#Reception).
The publications (IGN, GamesRadar, etc) should be italicized, per Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Titles#Major_works.

Images/files

File:South Park The Fractured but Whole cover art.jpg—license, (boilerplate) rational seems okay to me.
File:South-Park-TFBW-Gameplay.jpg—usage and rational seem fine to me.
File:South Park The Fractured But Whole OST (2017) - Main Menu.ogg—ditto.
File:SouthParkTFBWMitch.jpg—I'm honestly not sure of the value this as it doesn't appear to add much to the overall article. Maybe, if it was used in conjunction with a quote or section on the superhero tone, but right now, it seems to be there more for decorative purposes than informational ones. I don't think you'd lose anything if you removed it, anyway—the same exact character is shown on the cover art.
File:The Fractured But Whole von South Park (36024781343).jpg and File:Southpark- The Fractured but Whole (28516928003).jpg—these two images might (I'm not saying they necessarily do) contain copyright violations as the subject of them is non-free media.

References

No issues here; all references appear reliable and archived.

JOE BRO 64 01:55, 21 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Darkwarriorblake: Sorry I'm being a little slow on this; I've been a bit busy. I'll finish the review by Friday. JOE BRO 64 22:58, 24 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Darkwarriorblake: Overall, this article is in fantastic shape, only a few issues. I'm placing this review on hold for now. Great work! (P.S.: Don't feel obligated, but I do have an FAC open that could use some comments) JOE BRO 64 00:54, 26 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks JoeBro, will get to this tonight after work. Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 10:12, 26 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I've implemented most of your requests Joe. I haven't renamed Pax to Penny Arcade Expo as reading the article, PAX is it's official name now, they've abandoned the Penny Arcade Expo. IGN doesn't seem to be italicized anywhere in the IGN article, are you sure it is meant to be?

The Mitch image isn't there for Cartman, it's there to demonstrate what Mitch is, as I felt that for someone unfamiliar with the show it was hard to explain how Cartman and Mitch are doing different things in the plot. I have actually put a rationale in the template but it's being overridden by the template's default setting for some reason.

The other two images you highlight, the only thing I know is that they've been reviewed as free to use on Wikimedia so as far as I'm aware, at hte moment they are ok to use on Wikipedia. Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 23:17, 26 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Darkwarriorblake: alrighty then, thank you for clarifying those points! There are no other issues I see, so I am going to pass this. Well done! JOE BRO 64 23:24, 26 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]