This article was copy edited by SheriffIsInTown, a member of the Guild of Copy Editors, on 14 March 2024.Guild of Copy EditorsWikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy EditorsTemplate:WikiProject Guild of Copy EditorsGuild of Copy Editors articles
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A fact from Ryokuoushoku Shakai appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 31 January 2024 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:
Did you know... that the band Ryokuoushoku Shakai was named after its members misheard "vegetables" (野菜, yasai) as "society" (社会, shakai)?
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
Overall: @Ayakanaa: Thank you for this submission! The article and the hook both look alright, but the former likely needs to be copy-edited a little more (did you translate it directly from the ja.wiki page?), while the latter is slightly unclear, so I think you should re-word it by "name-dropping" the band directly and trying to make the hook sound simpler. Also, I need to know if this is your first DYK entry, since users who have nominated at least 5 articles need to submit a QPQ review, as well. Oltrepier (talk) 15:38, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Oltrepier: It isn't a completely direct translation since I omitted or combined sentences to try to make it better suited for en.wiki. Where should I get someone to copy edit the page? How would I make the hook sound simpler? Also, this is my first DYK entry, so I don't need a QPQ. Thank you for your comments. ayakanaa ( t · c ) 18:42, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Ayakanaa: Thank you for clarifying that it's your first entry! You can start improving the hook by replacing "a band" with the group's full name, and then we can make more edits after approving the nomination. On a side note, everyone who feels bold enough to help you can correct and improve the article; I suggest you to send a request to the Copy Editors team from this page, too! Oltrepier (talk) 20:45, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Oltrepier: Updated the hook. It made it clearer, thank you. Is the hook okay now? And since I don't know when the GOCE will get to my request, how does that affect this nomination? ayakanaa ( t · c ) 21:46, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
- Minor grammar tweaks needed
@Ayakanaa: Thank you for this submission! The article and the hook both look alright, but the former likely needs to be copy-edited a little more (did you translate it directly from the ja.wiki page?), while the latter is slightly unclear, so I think you should re-word it by "name-dropping" the band directly and trying to make the hook sound simpler. Also, I need to know if this is your first DYK entry, since users who have nominated at least 5 articles need to submit a QPQ review, as well. Oltrepier (talk) 15:38, 1 January 2024 (UTC)
@Ayakanaa: There's no problem at all, actually: I think we should be good to go now! Oltrepier (talk) 08:57, 2 January 2024 (UTC)
