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GA Review

[edit]
Passed. Spookyaki (talk) 17:11, 14 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: Mujinga (talk · contribs) 21:12, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Spookyaki (talk · contribs) 19:58, 11 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]


Hi! I'll be reviewing this article. Thanks for your contributions!

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
    in
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check.
    a (reference section): b (inline citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects)): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Initial readthrough

[edit]

Copyvio check looks good. Made some minor copyediting changes myself, primarily for comma usage. Notes on the first readthrough: 

Not long after arriving, Pat Gros discovered she was pregnant again. For reasons she only dimly understood, she was swept by waves of relief. “I was in denial a lot of the time, pretending that none of this was real,” she recalls today. “I only figured out years later why I kept getting pregnant, and why it made me so happy. It was the only way I had to not get more involved. If I was pregnant, they couldn’t ask me to rob a bank.” Pat seldom shared her doubts with Ray, but it was clear both she and Carol Manning were at best ambivalent about their lives underground. A rare airing of these feelings occurred in Waterbury. As Pat recalls, “Tommy came to me and said, ‘Carol’s been talking, she doesn’t want to do this anymore.’ He had a question about how effective we were being. I said, ‘Well, yeah, look outside. There’s not a lot of people wanting a revolution. There’s nobody.’ And he said, ‘Do you think this is even worth doing?’ I had to admit, I agreed with him.”
In that case, maybe writing it as:
According to Gros, both she and Carol Manning started to feel that raising children was more important than engaging in direct action during this period.
Or something like that. Spookyaki (talk) 18:44, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Great suggestion, went with "According to Gros, both she and Carol Manning started to feel that raising children was more important than engaging in direct action" Mujinga (talk) 12:32, 13 November 2024 (UTC) checkY[reply]
The Mannings initially evaded the roundup, but were eventually traced via the serial numbers on a gun seized in the raid on the Cleveland address and captured, along with their children, on April 24, 1985.Mujinga (talk) 18:44, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
In that case, maybe try something like:
The Mannings fled from their house and stayed underground until the following year, when they were arrested after police traced them using the serial numbers on a gun they found during [a/the] raid on the Cleveland house.
Or something like that. Spookyaki (talk) 19:05, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
added about Cleveland Mujinga (talk) 13:11, 13 November 2024 (UTC) checkY[reply]
Afterwards, they were turned over to welfare department officials despite the fact that a number of relatives — none accused of any crime, and all gainfully employed — lived in the area and expressed their willingness to take them in. Mujinga (talk) 19:00, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
In that case, I think it would be most precise to just say:
The children were then passed to the welfare department despite family members offering to take them.
Since no specific federal/state welfare department is named. Spookyaki (talk) 19:20, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
rewritten Mujinga (talk) 13:09, 13 November 2024 (UTC) checkY[reply]

Not required for GA, but other recommended adjustments:

Will perform a spot check in a bit, but for now, I would say that the article has some prose issues (though not insurmountable, as long as they're not WP:CLOP, which will be determined by spot check). Going to put it on hold.

Spot check, second read

[edit]
I think in the interest of precision, it makes sense to explain further. I think "going underground" could mean several different things, including the things you listed, but possibly excluding some/including others. Spookyaki (talk) 19:20, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I thought I'd check wikitionary which has it as a US/Canadian term?! I've added the link. Hope that works! Mujinga (talk) 12:23, 13 November 2024 (UTC) checkY[reply]
In the end, after a trial lasting ten months (February-November 1989), costing more than $10 million, and in which nearly 250 witnesses took the stand, the jury acquitted the three remaining defendants - Ray Luc and Pat Gros Levasseur, and Richard Williams-of both charges on November 27,1989

.. so I was wrong originally to say the trial collapsed! I've edited to reflect the acquital, it's good that you queried this. Also I should add that the original source, Burrough, says: 

Finally, on November 27, 1989, the jury returned not-guilty verdicts on most of the counts. Two days later the judge declared a mistrial when jurors said they were deadlocked on the remaining charges. All of the defendants, except Patricia Gros (who had already served 3 1/2 years for harboring a fugitive and was now out on bail), were returned to prison as quickly as possible so they wouldn't miss any more of their taxpaye provided college classes.Mujinga (talk) 12:13, 13 November 2024 (UTC) checkY[reply]

Otherwise, spot check looks good. I'll give you some time to respond, but this looks like it could get to GA with some work. Let me know if you have any questions!

Spookyaki thanks for taking on the review, I think I've answered on everything and I see you replying so I'll leave you to it, then check back later. Cheers :) Mujinga (talk) 19:04, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I've now replied to everything again Mujinga (talk) 13:12, 13 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Third read

[edit]

Getting close, made a few more minor adjustments myself. Only things left outstanding:

  • Clarification of the term "partner," both in the lead and in the "Underground" section. checkY
  • Whilst → While (not strictly necessary, so will pass even if this doesn't go through). checkY
  • The lead still says the trial "collapsed," which is apparently not what happened. Spookyaki (talk) 17:15, 13 November 2024 (UTC) checkY[reply]
done! Mujinga (talk) 07:48, 14 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Final read

[edit]

Made some more minor adjustments, but overall, looks good. Am going to go ahead and pass this.

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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