Talk:Malcolm Ross (journalist)/GA1
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 09:35, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
Comments
- "On the outbreak " I would normally say "Following the outbreak..."
- Done. Zawed (talk) 09:49, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
- "at Gallipoli and in Europe" are there suitable links for NZ's involvement in either of this conflicts?
- Not for NZ's involvement, but I have linked to the campaigns themselves. I have also adjusted the WWI section as well. Zawed (talk) 09:49, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
- "He died four years later." not normally in the lead unless it's an unusual death.
- Have removed. Zawed (talk) 09:49, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
- "rugby football" was it rugby union, more specifically?
- It will have been rugby union at that time, league didn't arrive in NZ until later. I have explicitly stated union now. Zawed (talk) 09:49, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
- "join the Union Steam Ship Company" in the lead, you didn't call it "the Union..."?
- Have fixed lead for consistency. Zawed (talk) 09:49, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
- "and making it popular in New Zealand" single-handedly? Maybe just "helped increase its popularity"?
- Good point, I have revised this. Zawed (talk) 09:49, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
- "the London Times" it's just called The Times.
- Have amended him. Zawed (talk) 09:49, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
- "employed him.[9][3]" ref order.
- reordered. Zawed (talk) 09:49, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
- "Ross' appointment.[9][3]" same. And Ross's.
- reordered and fixed. Zawed (talk) 09:49, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
- "the ANZAC forces" link?
- linked. Zawed (talk) 09:49, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
- Again, in the main body, links for Gallipoli and other campaigns involving NZ forces?
- Have done for the campaigns. Zawed (talk) 09:49, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
- "World War, focus turned" his focus?
- Actually it wasn't his focus, it was the Government's. I have revised the section to better clarify this. Zawed (talk) 09:49, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
- "Lucas' history" Lucas's.
- Fixed.
That's it, sorry for the delay in the review. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 08:43, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
- No worries about the delay The Rambling Man, I appreciate the time you have taken here. I have responded above with comments/edits to the article. Thanks, Zawed (talk) 09:49, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
- The Rambling Man, just checking you have seen this. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 09:10, 29 September 2021 (UTC)