Talk:Harvey Pulford/GA1

GA Review

Unsuccessful. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 22:32, 13 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I may use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)}

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Links

Prose

Lede

regarded defenceman with the Ottawa Hockey Club - probably should say "ice hockey defenceman, as there's other types of hockey and we've listed a load of sports. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 20:44, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
also won championships or tournaments in every sport in which he played - I don't think you can make this claim. "He played professionally", maybe, but unless we can prove he only played the sports listed, we can't make that claim. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 20:46, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
From the sounds of it, he was an ice hockey player, who was also good at other things, rather than an overall athlete. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 20:46, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Lede is very short. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 20:46, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

General

born in Toronto, Ontario - state the country. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 20:49, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
to a son, Harvey F. Pulford, on December 7, 1904. - to avoid confusion, rather than "a son", say "Harvey's step-brother". Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 20:49, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
1891 Pulford - comma Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 20:49, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Generally personal life sections go after the career. I know this section covers his birth and childhood, so maybe this is also missing some things? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
In his youth Pulford - there should be a comma here, watch out for this. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
In 1894 he joined - probably should state his age. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
While captain from 1902 to 1905 he led the team, later nicknamed the "Silver Seven - this doesn't specify whether he or the team had this nickname (although by the name, it's probably the team). Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Pulford played his first senior-level games with the Ottawa club during the 1894 season - wait, weren't we just talking about 1905? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Stanley Cup challenge games - what is this? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Ottawa finished tied with the Victorias for the 1903 CAHL championship and right to hold the Cup - what? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
total-goal series - a what? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Pulford being credited for his ability to physically stop any opponents from entering his area of the ice^{[according to whom?]} Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
his area of the ice - he doesn't own it. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
They were allowed to retain the Cup - what does this mean? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Pulford in six - presumably "played in six matches". Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I've noticed a lot in this article there's a lot of missing words. played two challenge series - you might play in two challenge series, for example. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Ottawa lost, ending their hold of the Cup - presumably we are still talking about the Stanley Cup, could we not actually say the name of the tournament? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
This article doesn't seem to mention much about the person, but a lot more about the club he played for, with some info about how many times he scores. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
That's all I'm willing to do at this time. It's just not focused on the subject, or well written. Getting a copyedit in and focussing more on the subject would be suitable before renominating.Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:03, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Review meta comments

I'll begin the review as soon as I can! If you fancy returning the favour, I have a list of nominations for review at WP:GAN and WP:FAC, respectively. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these if you get time. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 22:32, 13 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.