Talk:Hargraves (crater)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jens Lallensack (talk · contribs) 21:33, 4 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hi there, reviewing now. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 21:33, 4 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hargraves is a Hesperian-age complex double-layered ejecta impact crater on Mars. – These are a lot of attributes/adjectives. Many readers want a short and concise definition in the first sentence. I recommend to move the details to a separate sentence, along with more explanation.
crustal dichotomy, ejecta apron, aqueous alteration – can these be linked and/or explained?
The presence of Hargraves ejecta in a trough of the Nili Fossae to its west, contributed – I think the comma is too much here?
hydrothermal system – link?
Main text: "crustal dichotomy" is a red link, should it link to Martian dichotomy?
which are troughs to the northeast of Isidis Planitia that are concentric to the impact site that likely excavated it – a chain of "that", not sure if I follow. Where does the last "that" and "it" refer to?
graben due – what is that?
syn- or post-impact – article is quite heavy on technical terms, but these, for example, can be avoided I think: "during or after the impact"
"Context" is not exactly what is found within this section (which has geography, history, and etymology). "Context", here in Wikipedia, would be information not directly related to the topic (e.g., some general introduction on the craters of Mars, which is probably not needed here).
Hargraves Crater impacted – I think the meteorite impacted, not the crater.
The impact occurred in Hesperian time – "during the Hesperian time period"?
Noachian-age – link?
"differentially hummocky textures" – I don't understand the use of "differentially" here.
textures; coherent megablocks abound within the unit. – ";" is supposed to mean "and"?
facies, megabreccias, aeolian, fluvial, geomorphological – link
and likely sampled strata in addition to the aforementioned megabreccia unit. – can't follow, where does this relate to?
melt-bearing impactite – explain what this is?
Excessive detail here: "In 2016, Catheryn Ryan, Randolph Corney, Andrew MacRae (Saint Mary's University in Halifax), Livio Tornabene, Gordon Osinski, Haley Sapers (University of Western Ontario), John Mustard, and Kevin Cannon (Brown University) presented an abstract to the Lunar and Planetary Science Conference "
in light both of – "in light of both"?
Excessive detail: In 2019, Al Emran, Luke Marzen, and David King (Auburn University) presented an abstract to the Lunar and Planetary Science Conference
And again: In 2021, Leah Sacks, Livio Tornabene, Gordon Osinski, and Racel Sapoco (University of Western Ontario)
ON HOLD: The major issue here is comprehensibility; it is full of technical terms, and formulations are often difficult to understand. This can't be always avoided, but we can get much better (another example: "akin to several terrestrial analogues" –> "akin to several craters on earth" would be clearer). --Jens Lallensack (talk) 22:10, 4 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Closing note: No response after more than a week, so I have to close this now. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 21:09, 12 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]