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Talk:Hamzeh Mirza Heshmat od-Dowleh/GA1

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GA Review

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Nominator: HistoryofIran (talk · contribs) 03:25, 11 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Borsoka (talk · contribs) 07:43, 28 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it well written?
    A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
    B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
  2. Is it verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check?
    A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
    B. Reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose):
    C. It contains no original research:
    D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
    B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
  4. Is it neutral?
    It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
  5. Is it stable?
    It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
  6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:
    B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:


Comments

  • Introduce Abbas Mirza shortly.
Done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 13:56, 9 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • He participated in the Herat war of 1837–1838, for which he was later rewarded with the governorship... Participated as? Introduce the Herat war shortly. Was he indeed rewarded solely for his participation in the war?
Introduced the Herat war. And yep. --HistoryofIran (talk) 20:04, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Are Qazvin, Zanjan, Khorasan cities, districts of provinces? (Was he the governor of a city, a district or a province?) Some more details of their location? (Eastern/western/central Iran/near the capital Teheran/border province...)
Tried to make that more clear. --HistoryofIran (talk) 18:34, 1 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ... for his misbehavior Examples?
No details given anywhere unfortunately. --HistoryofIran (talk) 18:34, 1 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Later in the same year, he was given the governorship of Zanjan by his brother. Why did his brother forgive him in less then a year?
Unfortunately the source doesn't say. --HistoryofIran (talk) 23:34, 2 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...by his brother...by his brother...by his brother... Tweak the sentences.
Done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 23:34, 2 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Could you add some infromation about Hasan Khan's revolt before mentioning Hamzeh's role in its supression?
Done, revamped the section. --HistoryofIran (talk) 19:06, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...making some of the latter's followers join him Did he force or persuade them to join him?
Unfortunately it doesn't say. I've just removed it. --HistoryofIran (talk) 19:06, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Introduce Mashad as a city and add some details of its location.
Added some info, thoughts? --HistoryofIran (talk) 20:45, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...the soldiers in Mashhad revolted ... Do we know why? Was this a garrison?
I've rewritten this part with a source that goes into more detail about the whole event. Hope it's good now. --HistoryofIran (talk) 19:06, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...also urged the populace to rebel Did they persuade them to rebel? Populace or townspeople/civil populace?
I've rewritten this part with a source that goes into more detail about the whole event. Hope it's good now. --HistoryofIran (talk) 19:06, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Hamzeh Mirza was defeated by the rebels, subsequently taking refuge in the fortress of Mashhad. Rephrase.
Done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 23:47, 5 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Around the same time, Hasan Khan Salar marched towards Mashhad. The word of Mohammad Shah's death spread throughout Mashhad as Hasan Khan Salar surrounded Hamzeh Mirza and his troops. Mohammad Shah was succeeded by his son Naser al-Din Shah (r. 1848–1896). Rephrase: 1. Mohammad Shah dies and is succeeded by his son; 2. Hasan Khan is marching towards Mashad. 3. News of the shah's death reaches Mashad and Hamzeh is surrounded.
I've rewritten this part with a source that goes into more detail. Hope it's good now. --HistoryofIran (talk) 19:06, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Why did Yar Muhammad change his mind?
I've rewritten this part with a source that goes into more detail about the whole event. Hope it's good now. --HistoryofIran (talk) 19:06, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • What does his title "Heshmat od-Dowleh" mean or indicate?
Unfortunately I couldn't find any source which mentioned this. --HistoryofIran (talk) 19:06, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • They were informed of the violence between the Hajji-Khojalu and Damirchili tribes... The violence? Perhaps "They were informed that traditional feuds between .... had renewed .../They were informed that a conflict had broken out between ..../..."?
Changed it to the latter. --HistoryofIran (talk) 21:04, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...subdue the Hajji-Khojalu... Why not the Damirchili?
Source doesn't say unfortunately. --HistoryofIran (talk) 23:34, 2 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...stop the Shahseven tribes from wintering on the Russian-ruled part of the Mughan plain Stop? Had they wintered traditionally on the plain?
Yup, added that. --HistoryofIran (talk) 23:46, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • The British consul-general Stevens believed... Why is his opinion relevant? Believed or suggested?
Added a bit more info about him, and changed to "suggested". --HistoryofIran (talk) 23:46, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...Hamzeh Mirza believed... Believed?
Changed to "suggested". --HistoryofIran (talk) 23:46, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...the following year he once again received the governorship of Khuzestan and Lorestan Why was he forgiven?
Source unfortunately doesn't say. --HistoryofIran (talk) 21:02, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
We don't unfortunately. --HistoryofIran (talk) 18:34, 1 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Hi again Borsoka, and thanks for another great review. I'll try to get to it as first as possible. HistoryofIran (talk) 21:14, 30 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • (Lead): Introduce Abbas Mirza.
Added that he was a crown prince in the lede too. Is more needed or? --HistoryofIran (talk) 20:47, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@HistoryofIran: when do you think you can address all issues?

Sorry, I didn't receive a notification for some reason, been happening a few times recently. And sorry for the wait, I expect to have it addressed before the 19th, if that's ok. --HistoryofIran (talk) 23:31, 12 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Source review

  • All sources are academic works of high quality.
  • You may want to add editors to Beigi (2014) and Mousavi (2018)
Added the editor for Mousavi, but I'm not sure where to find it for Beigi. --HistoryofIran (talk) 20:59, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ISBN is missing for Mousavi (2018)
Added the ISBN. --HistoryofIran (talk) 20:59, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
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