Talk:Growing Up (The Linda Lindas album)

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Growing Up (The Linda Lindas album)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: The Sharpest Lives (talk · contribs) 16:01, 9 May 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Joeyquism (talk · contribs) 05:57, 9 June 2024 (UTC)

@The Sharpest Lives: Hi! I'm delighted to participate in the first GAN review circle, and even more delighted to be able to review your nomination. I'll try and get back to you within the next few days (Wednesday ~11PM EST at the latest). If you have any questions, feel free to ping me or let me know on my talk page! Joeyquism (talk) 05:57, 9 June 2024 (UTC)

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	Prose is mostly okay, though some concerns arise: The excerpts from the main Linda Lindas article in the background section are fine, but they take up a majority of the article (it's the largest section in the entire thing, as far as I can tell). I would suggest maybe using it as a starting point for describing the formation and the single "Racist, Sexist Boy", but it shouldn't be the most descriptive part of the article. Plus, the inclusion of more important details about "Racist, Sexist Boy" in the background prevents you from writing about it in more detail below. I noticed that the sentence in the composition section The anti-racist song "Racist, Sexist Boy" was written about an encounter Mila de la Garza had with a boy at school is rather short and lacks the detail that can be found in the background section. Growing Up was recorded and mixed at Music Friends, which is Carlos de la Garza's backyard studio. — I think "which is" can be excluded here. Including it makes it seem a bit amateurish. "Racist, Sexist Boy" has commonly been compared to riot grrrl sound and ideals. — Can you explain what "ideals" refers to? Wong cut the dolls freehand, intending for them to appear like the band members as cats. — Remove wikilink for band members, and perhaps phrase it more like "represent" as opposed to "appear like". The song "Nino" was written about Bela Salazar's cat. She had previously written a song about her cat, Monica, which appeared in the Linda Lindas' eponymous EP (2020). Feeling that Nino "wouldn't leave her alone until he got a song too", Salazar wrote the song "Nino" for him. — In the first sentence, you should clarify that Nino is also the name of her cat (for a bit, I thought it was somehow about Monica). Something like "of the same name" at the end of that sentence would be good, and then insert "other" before "cat" in the second sentence. ...the band performed a Tiny Desk (Home) Concert at the Los Angeles Public Library... — Not sure if "(Home)" is necessary; is this how other articles do it? I do understand that's how it was rebranded during the COVID years, but I would take precedence from other articles. Either way, this is minutiae and can likely be ignored; the point is made clearly. ...with some shows alongside Japanese Breakfast, Bacchae, and Yeah Yeah Yeahs. — Remove "some"
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	Some issues: The lead is a bit short considering the depth of the content that appears in the article. I would include more about the genres, themes, the COVID background, and composition. Words such as "comments" and "calls" in the critical reception section should be in the past tense. The track listing should be using Template:Track listing. If you need help with formatting, let me know; I struggle with it myself at times.
2. Verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	Looks good. Liner notes and videos are attributed with the proper citation templates.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	The excerpt from the main Linda Linda article contains some questionable and deprecated sources. I'm seeing a Wordpress link, and some sources (Mediaite and Pollstar) that don't seem like they would fly by on WP:RS. All the more reason to write a new background section. Otherwise, other sources for original writing seem good. (Edit: for the sentence Growing Up was recorded and mixed at Music Friends, which is Carlos de la Garza's backyard studio., only the backyard studio part is corroborated by the cited source. I'm sure the liner notes would confirm the name of the studio as Music Friends.) Source spot check: [2] — Definitely remove this. Other than this and the others I mentioned above, the other sources in the background section look promising (1, 7, 8, 10 look great) [11] [15] [22] [29] — Include the work (Consequence of Sound) [33] [40] [42] [49] [53] [59] — The author is not Conde Nast (that's a dead guy, and also the publishing company that owns Teen Vogue). The author is Sara Delgado. [63] [71] [74]
	2c. it contains no original research.	Nothing that I can find that resembles original research.
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.	Copyvio check returned 47.1% similarity. While I realize that these are because of quotations, I feel like you can clean it up a bit with paraphrasing (especially the Bela Salazar quote). Otherwise, other sources are clean.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	I think more can be said about the writing and recording stage; for instance, in the Rolling Stone article, I found the following excerpt: "As with the EP, the album was written during the first lockdown phase of the pandemic in 2020, when the girls had to attend school remotely and couldn’t see one another or other friends regularly. They say they found it cathartic to write down their feelings of loneliness and confusion." This can be included and expanded upon.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	Article is focused on the subject and its creators with no discernable content about other extraneous topics.
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	No overly laudatory or scathing comments; everything is written to describe the album as is.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	No edit warring here.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	Looks good. Perhaps make the picture of Carlos de la Garza bigger, and consider including some audio clips if possible. Otherwise, good job on illustrating the article!
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	Looks good.
	7. Overall assessment.	@The Sharpest Lives: For now, I'm putting this on hold. The content is clear and relatively well-written, but it needs some moderate tweaking and some expanding in order for me to feel comfortable passing it. Sources are mostly good (well done!), but a few need to be removed due to reliability/verifiability concerns. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to let me know by pinging me. Thank you for your hard work on this article! I wasn't too familiar with the Linda Lindas other than "Racist, Sexist Boy" before reading this, and from what I've now learned, I feel like they're a wholesome bunch to listen to. Very glad to be able to review your work! --Joeyquism (talk) 20:37, 10 June 2024 (UTC)

@The Sharpest Lives: Gonna add some more things I'm seeing below. Apologies for not being as comprehensive as I could have been on the first reply.

• where they had previously performed their live version of "Racist, Sexist Boy". — You can remove the wikilink for "Racist, Sexist Boy", along with most of the other wikilinks for it above; I think 1-3 wikilinks of the same subject is a good sweet spot, unless the article is blazingly long. There should also still be a mention of it in the background (I noticed you removed it), seeing as it's one of the first songs the band released in general and it appears on the album; one wikilink for it in the background and the one in the track listing should be fine. If you need help with this, let me know.
• It features Ray Barbee taking pictures of the Linda Lindas using a Polaroid camera. — Include the primary/most applicable profession (skateboarder, photographer, musician) of Ray Barbee before his name; less informed readers may not know who they are. Same with Humberto Leon (photographer).
• Lil' Dude is a cat, however he is still noted in the liner notes. — Cute detail! Keep this in the article - I think it'd be a nice DYK submission if the article passes. Don't do anything to this, just wanted to note that I saw it earlier and it made me smile.
• DIY editor Ben Tipple commented, "with debut full-length 'Growing Up' [the Linda Lindas] easily cement themselves as far more than a viral moment, pairing political and social charge with a suitably playful charm." — Perhaps exclude the phrase "with debut full-length 'Growing Up'" and say something like DIY editor Ben Tipple commented that with Growing Up, the Linda Lindas had "easily cement[ed]...."

If I find any more things, I'll let you know. Sorry for being so pedantic; I understand that this is your first GAN and I really want you to succeed and become an even better writer! --Joeyquism (talk) 03:33, 11 June 2024 (UTC)

Hey Joey! Sorry I haven't replied to you - I've been a little busy so I just edit real quick while I can. Let me do a little checklist of your suggestions that I've done.

• "compared to riot grrrl sound and ideals" - removed ideals (I don't know what I was thinking)
• Fixed the paper dolls sentence
• Clarified the Nino/Monica section
• Tiny Desk (Home) Concert- I left that as is, because it's the way most sources write it
• Removed "some" (some shows alongside...)
• Changed critical reception section to past tense
• Left tracklist as-is, because I'm looking at the WikiProject Albums style guide, and in the tracklist section it says that the tracklist should be a numbered list unless it is more complex. see WP:TRACKLISTING
• Music Friends is the name listed in the liner notes. I can email you a picture perhaps? I don't know if that's allowed. I'll see if I can find another source to connect the name "Music Friends" with Carlos' backyard
• Fixed sources (except for background section- will rewrite soon)
• Lil' Dude (cat) note- I struggled with this fact for a little while, I was like "Can we credit a cat in the personnel section?" Because in the liner notes, it's simply "Piano on Nino by Lil' Dude" or something like that. I decided to leave it and make a note so that readers would understand. I'm glad you noticed!
• Fixed "DIY editor Ben Tipple..." quote

Thanks! – The Sharpest Lives (the deadliest to lead) 14:34, 11 June 2024 (UTC)

@The Sharpest Lives: You're all good! Let me know if you need more time to edit the article to meet standards; I totally understand if you are busy. Joeyquism (talk) 20:44, 11 June 2024 (UTC)

@The Sharpest Lives: Hi there! Just wanted to see if you're still working on the article; I think per general GAN guidelines I can give you about a week more at most unless there exists some outside conflict that demands more of your time (in which case, you'll have to clarify that such a situation is going on, and only then will I be able to grant you more time). Hope you're having a great weekend! joeyquism (talk) 22:21, 15 June 2024 (UTC)

@Joeyquism: Yeah, one more week would be nice. I just need to work on rewriting the background section. Anyways, I was wondering where I should put the "Racist, Sexist Boy" info. Would it belong in #Background or #Writing and composition? – The Sharpest Lives (💬•✏️•ℹ️) 23:53, 15 June 2024 (UTC)

@The Sharpest Lives Good question. I think the information would maybe be better off in the writing and composition section, as it is, after all, featured on the album. This should also be reflected in the recording period; while I recognize that the liner notes may state that the rest of the album was recorded from June to October of 2021, I believe that May to October would be more accurate considering the fact that that is when "Racist, Sexist Boy" was recorded (unless the version that appears on the album was a re-recording that I'm not aware of - that being said, I suggest going with whatever your instincts may tell you). Of course, this is just my opinion and your judgement takes precedence, though I hope that you take my remarks into consideration when rewriting. For additional information on what information should go where, see WP:ALBUMSTYLE.

Your request for a week of extra time has been noted and granted. Best of luck, and I look forward to seeing what you write! joeyquism (talk) 00:55, 16 June 2024 (UTC)

@Joeyquism: Thanks for the idea! As for the recording date- the Racist, Sexist Boy page does state that the song was recorded in May, but that is a live version that was released as a single. The studio version was probably recorded within that June to October window. – The Sharpest Lives (💬•✏️•ℹ️) 05:43, 16 June 2024 (UTC)

@The Sharpest Lives: Good work on finding that information! This should likely be mentioned somewhere in the article as well (i.e. indicate that the song had been re-recorded for the album). I'm about to head to sleep, so I apologize if this isn't as helpful as you would have hoped. I'll elaborate if needed in the morning. Happy editing! joeyquism (talk) 06:11, 16 June 2024 (UTC)

@Joeyquism Hey, I rewrote Growing Up (The Linda Lindas album) § Background. It is shorter, but I believe it provides good detail, and doesn't go too much into the "Racist, Sexist Boy" writing. – The Sharpest Lives (💬•✏️•ℹ️) 20:14, 16 June 2024 (UTC)

@The Sharpest Lives Hi there! Looks a lot better, but I do have some quick concerns:

• On second thought, the illustrating image is quite large compared to the text, and fixed image sizes are not really something people take to very kindly in reviews. I suggest removing the fixed image size, and just running with however large the image appears after removal. I personally dislike that fixed image sizes aren't utilized more, but they are ultimately better for accessibility purposes and improving the reading experience.
• Poehler, impressed by the band, invited them to make a cameo for her 2021 film Moxie. - Reads strangely; try Impressed by their performance, Poehler invited... It is also questionable as to whether or not this information should be included as well; however, it does provide context into what the band did before the album, so take this as a mere footnote and do with it as you wish.
• Remove the Film Music Reporter source - I believe this has been deprecated.
• ...Viet Thanh Nguyen, who said, "'Racist, Sexist Boy' is the song we need now". - Could be phrased better. Try ...Viet Thanh Nguyen, the latter of which said "'Racist, Sexist Boy' is the song we need now".
• On May 22, 2021, Epitaph Records announced that it had signed the Linda Lindas. It was later clarified that Epitaph had been working on a deal with the Linda Lindas before the video went viral. - These can be conjoined with a semicolon, and you should mention that it was in the works previously; e.g. On May 22, 2021, Epitaph Records announced that it had signed the Linda Lindas; it was later clarified that Epitaph had been previously working on a deal with the Linda Lindas before the video went viral.

That's all I have to say as of now; great work on expanding the lead, by the way! Hope to hear back from you again soon. joeyquism (talk) 20:26, 16 June 2024 (UTC)

@Joeyquism I incorporated your suggestions. No offense to Mr Garza, but the image is just to large and I hate too say it but it might be better off removed, what do you think? As for the lead, is that long enough, or should I go into further detail? BTW, thanks for all the suggestions- I think the article is starting to look much better. – The Sharpest Lives (💬•✏️•ℹ️) 21:01, 16 June 2024 (UTC)

@The Sharpest Lives I threw the upright parameter in there just to make sure the image fits. As for the lead, I think the breadth is good as is, but I have one comment:

• Growing Up, a punk rock album, centers on themes of growing up, discovering oneself, and anxieties that arise in adolescence. - This can be phrased as "Growing Up is a punk rock album, with lyrics that focus on themes of..."

Otherwise, great work! I also think the article is looking a lot better, and I'm very much looking forward to see what you write up for it in the coming days. joeyquism (talk) 21:27, 16 June 2024 (UTC)

@Joeyquism I hate to sound ignorant, but am I missing anything? I believe I have addressed your concerns/suggestions, though you say you are excited for me to write more. Just making sure I didn't miss anything. Thanks! – The Sharpest Lives (💬•✏️•ℹ️) 21:40, 16 June 2024 (UTC)

@The Sharpest Lives: Apologies for the miscommunication. I have read through the article again, and I am now more comfortable with passing it. Well done! I should now clarify and amend my message: I'm very much looking forward to see what you write up in the future! joeyquism (talk) 21:51, 16 June 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Did you know nomination

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Hey man im josh talk 17:02, 25 June 2024 (UTC)

(

• Comment or view
• Article history

)

• ... that on American band the Linda Lindas' first album, Growing Up, a cat named Lil' Dude is featured playing piano?

• Source: Vinyl liner notes, NME

• ALT1: ... that the members of American punk rock band the Linda Lindas were all under the age of eighteen when they released their first album, Growing Up? Source: Rolling Stone
• ALT2: ... that while most of the songs on American band the Linda Lindas' first album, Growing Up, were sung in English, one track was in Spanish? Source: MTV
• ALT3: ... that after a video of American band the Linda Lindas playing their song "Racist, Sexist Boy" in a library went viral, they went on to release their first album, Growing Up? Source: Variety
• Reviewed:
• Comment: These are not perfect: they can be reworded as needed for clarification and correctness, etc.

Improved to Good Article status by The Sharpest Lives (talk). Number of QPQs required: 0. Nominator has less than 5 past nominations.

– The Sharpest Lives (💬•✏️•ℹ️) 06:45, 17 June 2024 (UTC).

• The article got promoted to good article status the day before the nomination, the article is long enough, no copyright concerns and all sources stated are reliable, the article is presentable and has no issues, and the hook is interesting.
  I am new to DYK reviewing, this is my first try on it, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. TheNuggeteer, (talk) 9:05, 21 June 2024 (UTC).
  • @TheNuggeteer: No worries! This is my first DYK nom, so we're in the same boat here. – The Sharpest Lives (💬•✏️•ℹ️) 14:09, 21 June 2024 (UTC)

Peer review 1

This review is transcluded from Wikipedia:Peer review/Growing Up (The Linda Lindas album)/archive1. The edit link below can be used to make additional comments.

Peer review

Growing Up (The Linda Lindas album) I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to promote it to FA status. I believe it meets the criteria, but I need another opinion. The sections I believe need improvement are the lead, #Background, and #Writing and recording. Thanks, – The Sharpest Lives (💬•✏️•ℹ️) 20:33, 17 June 2024 (UTC) I'm going to go ahead and close the peer review, as it is a month old. Thank y'all for the suggestions! – The Sharpest Lives (💬•✏️•ℹ️) (ping me!) 15:04, 17 July 2024 (UTC) Dylan620 I came here from my own music-related PR (thank you again TSL for your feedback!), and have some comments that I hope could help improve the article further. The Linda Lindas should be linked on their first mention in the body of the article. Mila de la Garza's full name should be used on the first mention in the body of the article (currently second and third), with subsequent mentions either continuing to use her full name or referring to her by her given name only; the first mention should also name which instrument she plays. (The same also applies to Lucia and Carlos, since all three were involved in the album and have the same last name.) Per the above, "Mila de la Garza and Eloise Wong subsequently met up" -> "Mila de la Garza met with Eloise Wong, the band's bassist," Conversely, while Bela Salazar and Eloise Wong are appropriately referred to by their full names when they are first mentioned in the body of the article, they can safely be referred to by just their last names on each subsequent mention. While I personally don't mind passive voice, I have been advised at an ongoing FAC that active voice is preferable – you may wish to consider rewording some sentences to use the active voice. "the latter of which" -> "the latter of whom" "On May 22, 2021" – the year isn't needed here, as the reader knows from earlier in the paragraph that the events occurred in May 2021. "she was Chinese. He'd been told" -> linking these two sentences with a semicolon would work better because one of them is presently on the short side. More importantly, any contractions that are not possessives should be avoided when writing in wikivoice; see MOS:CONTRACTIONS. Additionally, if Mila's age is going to be mentioned in this paragraph (which I'm not totally confident is necessary, though I do appreciate that it adds context), I think it should be clarified that she was 10 years old at the time of the incident. Double trouble: "Growing Up was released on released on April 8, 2022," Lyrics section: I am unsure if the first paragraph is long enough to stand on its own – the paragraph break could probably be removed without sacrificing any flow. "each of the band members were under 18" -> "each band member was under 18" The sentence with the Rolling Stone quote is missing a period at the end. "however, the lyrics still have hope" – do the lyrics themselves possess human emotions, or do they convey those emotions? I would rephrase this sentence to something along the lines of "The lyrics of 'Talking to Myself' express resilience against severe anxiety." I think the prose centering around the lyrics of "Nino" could probably be tightened, perhaps even to a single sentence: how does "Salazar wrote 'Nino' about her cat of the same name; she felt that Nino was jealous that she had previously written a song about her other cat, Monica, which appeared on the Linda Lindas' eponymous EP (2020)." sound? The music section is quite short. Is there any more that can be said about how the album sounds? Playing techniques, timbres of each instrument, recording techniques? The prose in the packaging section feels a bit choppy, and the section itself a bit short. I'd probably rephrase the prose presently there to something like "The album cover is a photograph of paper dolls designed by Wong; she cut the dolls freehand, intending for them to represent the band members as cats. The photograph was taken by Zen Sekizawa, a friend of the band, who worked for 'hours' to create the appropriate lighting for the dolls." Furthermore, is there any more information that could be added on how Wong designed, or was inspired to design, the paper dolls? Or on how Sekizawa obtained the lighting for the photograph? I also feel like the succeeding one-sentence paragraph could be harmlessly merged into the previous paragraph. All publications listed under {{Music ratings}} should also have their reviews incorporated into the prose of the critical reception section; The Line of Best Fit and Sputnikmusic are two examples of this not yet being the case. Very interesting to note that a cat was credited for playing piano on "Nino" – is there any more information on this that could be added to the article? I hope this feedback is helpful. I enjoyed reading this article, but I do feel like it needs some more work before it is ready for FAC. Since this would be your first, I strongly recommend seeking mentorship from an experienced FA contributor who can give you probably better insight than I could – as you may have seen on my PR, I sought a mentor for my work on Not Strong Enough (Boygenius song), and his advice has resulted in that article being substantially improved. Keep up the great work, Dylan620 (he/him • talk • edits) 21:51, 20 June 2024 (UTC) @Dylan620: Great feedback– thanks for the detailed suggestions! I've already implemented some of the smaller suggestions, and will work on the rest soon. Per your suggestion, I will also seek a mentor. Thanks again! – The Sharpest Lives (💬•✏️•ℹ️) 01:11, 21 June 2024 (UTC) Alright. It's been a while, but I felt like making a checklist like the one below.  Done: linked Fixed names, expanded first mention and shortened the rest. also added role (eg bassist) removed year made a contraction; removed age mention for Mila (not necessary imo) double trouble: good eye! fixed lyrics section cleaned up packaging section added prose for all ratings within {{Music ratings}}  Not done I'm very bad at noticing my passive voice writing, and I'm not quite sure how to fix it. (maybe I'll ask my English teacher for help lol) I can't find any info on the playing techniques or production or anything of the sort all I can find on Lil' Dude (a cat) playing piano is passing mentions that say "There's a cat that plays piano!" but no real info. Listening to the song, it sounds like the cat was just walking around on the piano and they put it in the song. Oh well. Thanks for the suggestions! – The Sharpest Lives (💬•✏️•ℹ️) (ping me!) 14:54, 17 July 2024 (UTC) NØ The references should either consistently have publications linked at every mention, at only the first mention, or none. Also, including words like "magazine" in parenthesis (Spin (magazine), Paste (magazine)) is not really common practice so I would recommend against it. While I do not personally care about this, FACs are made to conform to MOS:CONFORMTITLE. This means album titles have to go in italics and song titles have to go in quotation marks in the reference titles. Remove the Spanos redlink since the article was deleted after an AfD determined her non-notable. I would suggest removing the YouTube and Spotify external links, since promoting single vendors where albums are available for commercial consumption is generally discouraged. Optionally, I would suggest splitting the opening sentence: "Growing Up is the debut studio album by American rock band the Linda Lindas. Epitaph Records released the album on April 8, 2022." Most people would be familiar with the location of Los Angeles so I believe mentioning California is unnecessary. For the first sentence of the second lead paragraph, I would suggest "Growing Up received generally favorable reviews from critics and appeared on multiple 2022 year-end lists." "Billboard's Top Album Sales chart" - These are two blue links close together, which is not preferred, so you could maybe forego mentioning it is Billboard's chart "Four singles were released before the album: "Oh!", "Nino", "Growing Up", and "Talking to Myself". Multiple music videos were released, featuring cameos from skateboarder Ray Barbee and Bikini Kill singer Kathleen Hanna." - Since the music videos were for the singles, there is potential for mixing the sentences and ridding this of the repetition of "were released". Try "Ray Barbee and Bikini Kill singer Kathleen Hanna made cameos in the music videos for the four singles released from the album: "Oh!", "Nino", "Growing Up", and "Talking to Myself"." The touring should definitely find a mention in the lead. Also, do we have a name for the tour? First instance of extended play should be spelled out in full, with the abbreviation in parenthesis, since it is a term many are not familiar with. "The Linda Lindas had previously released their self-titled EP independently in December 2020." - Why not have this appear in the chronologically correct position in the paragraph? I am not a fan of the "had previously" framing Is it possible to include some context about what a "TEENtastic Tuesdays" event is through a note? "The video became a viral social media hit, earning praise from Rage Against the Machine's Tom Morello, Red Hot Chili Peppers's Flea, Thurston Moore, Bikini Kill's Kathleen Hanna, Kid Cudi, and author Viet Thanh Nguyen, the latter of whom said "'Racist, Sexist Boy' is the song we need now"" - This is too long, and "latter" is usually used when only two things are being talked about. Suggest splitting Nguyen's comment into a separate sentence. "it was later clarified that Epitaph had been working on a deal with the Linda Lindas before the video went viral" - I am not sure this should be characterized as a clarification, since there is no mention of someone wondering if the viral video caused the deal. How about "On May 22, Epitaph Records announced that it had signed the Linda Lindas, in a deal which they had been working on since before the video went viral"? "Most of the album was written during the COVID-19 pandemic" - This is the first mention of an album so it would help to be more descriptive. You could describe it as their "debut studio album" or just use the album title altogether. "The band members had to attend school remotely, and were unable to see each other often", ""helped [her] mind to think about something else", and made it easier to put her emotions into a song" - No comma required here. WP:CINS is very helpful regarding this. "They felt that writing down their "feelings of loneliness and confusion" was a relief" - Do you mean writing about their feelings? The current wording makes it unclear if they put the feelings into a song Mila de la Garza was already introduced as the band's drummer in the Background section so the reintroduction in the Writing and recording section looks repetitive. Although, the whole racism incident seems to be repeating. One-sentence paragraphs are discouraged so you should merge it. Also, is there background information about any of the other tracks? "The song "Talking to Myself" has been described as an "anxiety spiral", however, the lyrics of "Talking to Myself" express resilience against severe anxiety" - vary the wording to avoid repeating the song title twice in the sentence "Feeling that Nino "wouldn't leave her alone until he got a song too"" - Not a quote of significance in conveying meaning so I would suggest paraphrasing "Racist, Sexist Boy" does not need to be wikilinked again in the Lyrics section. There also seems to be a third repetition of the racism incident here... "The opening track "Oh!" has been compared" - Since there is only one opening track, you can do commas before and after the song title. "who worked for "hours" to create the appropriate lighting for the dolls" - One-word quotes are discouraged by some FAC reviewers. The Release section should probably be retitled "Release and promotion" since it is mostly about promotional activities. Touring could then be merged into it. Since the music videos are all for the singles, I am not sure about sub-sectioning them separately. They would all fit together with the bits about the videos following the information about single releases in their respective chronological order. You may refer to WP:RECEPTION to club similar themes from different reviewers for the Critical reception section. It also seems to have a few too many direct quotes that could stand to be paraphrased. It is quite glaring that many reviews, including Pitchfork(!) and The Line of Best Fit, are not mentioned in the prose at all. The FAC reviewers would definitely take issue with that. Relevant details from these types of reviews should be consulted and incorporated in both, the Composition and Critical reception sections. I am not seeing the significance of mentioning the country each publication is from in the Rankings table. The table also shouldn't be sortable by "Accolade", and I am not sure these listicle names are usually italicized. The tracks all seem to have different writers so is there a reason you haven't gone for the conventional Track listing format? "Credits adapted from the liner notes of Growing Up." - This is not a full sentence. You should add the word "are" between "Credits" and "adapted" if you want to use the period afterwards. I hope you liked the review so far! The Composition and Critical reception sections will probably change a lot after the implementation of these comments so I will have to revisit this at a later date. Feel free to ask me any clarification questions by pinging me here. Best, NØ 15:12, 27 June 2024 (UTC) Thanks for the suggestions!  Done: linked all sources applied italics to album instances and apostrophes to songs removed redlink removed Spotify and yt external links split first sentence removed California reworded 1st sentence of 2nd paragraph moved Billboard to separate links reworded singles/music videos mention in lead mentioned tour in lead spelled out extended play moved EP mention to chronological place removed teentastic tuesdays, replaced with AAPI Month, idk what teentastic tuesdays are. split Nguyen's sentence off removed "it was clarified..." replaced with your suggestion replaced "the album" with Growing Up removed comma writing down -> writing about Mila de la Garza name shortened merged one sentence paragraph fixed double mention of "Talking to Myself" unwikilinked Racist Sexist Boy, removed multiple instances of "racism" indent added commas for "Oh!" removed one-word quote renamed to Release and promotion, merged Touring removed countries for year-end lists, made sorting by accolade unavailable changed tracklist from bullet points to template format made a full sentence by adding "are"  Not done: I couldn't find a name for the tour  Pending: Looking for info on the background of other tracks Will reword "Nino wouldn't leave her alone" quote merge music videos and singles copyedit reception section add prose for all reviews in template So, I've got some work to do. But thanks again! I think this is really coming together! – The Sharpest Lives (💬•✏️•ℹ️) 23:05, 28 June 2024 (UTC) Update!  Done: Reworded "Nino" quote Merged music videos and singles Copyedited reception section Added prose for all reviews in template The article is looking a lot better, imo. Thanks. – The Sharpest Lives (💬•✏️•ℹ️) (ping me!) 14:44, 17 July 2024 (UTC)