Talk:Ellis Wackett/GA1

GA Review

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Prose issues: This article has quite a few moments of "predictiveness"...for lack of a better term, especially early on. Generally, this is distracting and awkward in historical articles For example, the still extant US arms embargo.

Well, how about simply "a US arms embargo"? Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 23:59, 27 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

First, I'd remove the part of the first sentence part 1 that refers to his older brother. You've already referred to him in the lead, you don't need to overshadow Ellis in the first sentence. I've taken the liberty of doing this.

Okay, I can live with that, given the rationale. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 23:59, 27 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Second, you've referred to him first as "Ellis" and then as Wackett. (I changed this.)

Only because I'd just mentioned Lawrence - not needed now. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 23:59, 27 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ranked Wing Commander at the outbreak of World War II, Wackett immediately faced major supply challenges as Director of Technical Services due to the now-limited availability of spare parts for the RAAF's mainly British-built equipment, coupled with the infancy of the local aircraft industry and a still-extant US arms embargo. Realllllllly long and confusing. Ranked WC at the outbreak of WWII, Wackett was appointed to the staff position as Director of Technical Services. He immediately faced challenges in supply parts for the British built equipment that was further complicated by the infancy of the local aircraft industry and the US arms embargo.

Okay, will try something like that. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 23:59, 27 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

commitment to airworthiness considerations frustrating ??

Not sure what's meant here - there is a link to "airworthiness"... Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 23:59, 27 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

origin of "black handers? ???

No origin is given in the source, so I can't speculate in the article, but I have defined it. Between you and me, I'd expect the origin comes from hands being black with oil, since these were old-fashioned "hands-on" engineers, not "blokes with degrees". Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 23:59, 27 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This paved the way for a series of leaders of the Technical Branch (renamed Engineering Branch in 1966) who shared his vision... confusing: what paved the way, his tenure on the Technical branch, or the dissolution of...

Perhaps just "He paved the way..." or some such? Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 23:59, 27 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Finally, along the way, I have managed to mess up one of your references. I'm hoping you will eventually take care of this. :)

Yep, best not to muck around with those tricky refs... ;-) N.B. Salisbury Plain doesn't usually have "the" before it. Also, I prefer the "trip home" because we have Australia mentioned immediately before and after... Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 23:59, 27 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

no problem. I didn't realize I was indeed messing around with the tricky refs. Oh well. Someone went in and fixed it, especially necessary after 3 reverses and then I gave up. Anyway, this is a super article. So do you want to add it to the lists? Be my guest! Auntieruth55 (talk) 01:38, 28 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Well I think the reviewer normally adds to the lists but as you've clearly passed the thing it's probably not an issue - I'll make a few mods to the text per above beforehand. Tks again for review! Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 02:04, 28 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)

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It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail: