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The lead section is meant to be an introduction to this article, extolling all its virtues and vices but most of the lead (3 paragraphs of it) seems to be devoted to the history of Williams Park alone. This is dealt with in more detail in the body of article. But I don't know from the lead section who Days Bay is named after, why it is now called Days Bay, or if it should be Day's Bay, what the original name was or why the name was changed from the original name, or even when that name change happened and I don't even know if this is the official place name or just one that has been traditionally applied and recorded over the years. Also, I don't know how to visit Days Bay or why I should - the lead suggests I catch the train up the west coast! - Cameron Dewe (talk) 01:57, 16 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
It is not awful, merely unbalanced and a misunderstanding of the purpose of the lead section. I think the lead should try to cover as many of the top 10 facts someone should know about Days Bay as can fit in about 25-50 words. If you only saw the first few lines of the lead, what would make you want to read more? What is most important to say about the article, first? As a first step I have tagged some of the issues I can see. If were left to my own devices I would stop at the first paragraph. But even that is rather uninformative. Instead, I want to know where Day Bay is - it is within an area of Hutt City that is known as Eastbourne, formerly a separate borough, whose residents still maintain they are not part of the Hutt Valley because they are on the coast line. I think that first off, the location needs to be better explained as being a Bay on the East coast of Port Nicholson or Wellington Harbour. Although the Bay is administered by Hutt City, geographically this is misleading because one can get there directly by a ferry across the harbour from Wellington. There is road and bus access, but no train, so why is that even mentioned in the lead? Currently the lead does not answer simple questions like Why is it called Days Bay? Who was Day? What can I do in the Bay? Where is it? When was it first settled? How do I get there? If Williams Park is so notable that it takes over the Day Bay article then perhaps there needs to be a separate article for the park, itself. But I don't think Williams Park is really notable on its own, so it needs to be written about here, in this article first. By all means write about Days Bay and include the history of Williams Park as part of the overall history of the place in the body of the article, but not so it dominates the lead. Somebody has gone to a lot of effort to contribute all this and I don't want to throw it all away, ... yet. So I want some alternative opinions before I get too bold. - Cameron Dewe (talk) 04:31, 16 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Day's Bay is Williams Park, a school that used to be an important part of Williams Park and some houses round the edge. You didn't know that? Read all the article and you will find all the answers to all your questions including those you have interpolated. Eddaido (talk) 02:29, 19 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Yes, it says that in the first paragraph of the lead. The next 3 paragraphs expound on the history of Williams Park, none of which grabs me by the short and curlies and makes me want to read more, nor why I should take the day off and go there tomorrow. It also leaves me wondering about the rest of the history, such as why is it called Days Bay and not Hawtey Bay, which was the original name. Also does it have a Maori name? I think your explanation confirms the imbalance and that the article only warrants one paragraph for the lead. The following 3 paragraphs need to be worked into the body of the article. If you want to write an article about Williams Park then you are welcome to do, so but the history of Williams Park is not all of the history of Days Bay. There is about 50 years of history before Williams Park is even conceived of and perhaps another hundred years of history after it was sold; none of which is properly sumarised in the lead. There is a school, wharf, ferries, bus, roading, food, road, bush walks, wildlife (penguins, nesting seabirds birds etc.) that can all be expanded upon. Where is all that going to fit if we have 3 paragraphs devoted to Williams Park? Saying less in the lead about Williams Park is more informative. - Cameron Dewe (talk) 05:56, 19 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
