Talk:David of Sassoun (statue)/GA1
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Nominator: Yerevantsi (talk · contribs) 15:53, 29 September 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Kimikel (talk · contribs) 01:04, 5 January 2025 (UTC)
Hello, I will be reviewing this article as part of the January GAN drive. Please expect comments from me within the next few days. Kimikel (talk) 01:04, 5 January 2025 (UTC)
- @Yerevantsi: A remarkable statue and a culture about which I'd like to know more. I have left my comments below. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns regarding my suggestions. Thank you. Kimikel (talk) 18:01, 5 January 2025 (UTC)
Well-written
[edit]Lead
[edit]- rock-like basalt > technically speaking basalt is a rock, not rock-like
- during the one-thousandth > for the thousandth
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- but was removed two years later and Kochar was arrested. but two years later, the statue was destroyed and Kochar was arrested.
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- With decline in train arrivals, > Following a decline in arrivals to Yerevan railway station,
History
[edit]- the most prominent artist to move to Soviet Armenia from abroad (in 1936) > who in 1936 became the most prominent artist to move to Soviet Armenia from abroad
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- It was made of gypsum, and was reportedly finished in 18 days [5] (other sources state Kochar spent up to three months on the project). > Kochar made it of gypsum and reportedly finished it in 18 days, though other sources state he spent up to three months on the project.
- the Russian-language academic publication > which one?
- Added----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- it was positioned > It was positioned
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- , for "anti-Soviet agitation", > remove commas
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- Kochar recreated it, with significant changes from the initial version, which notably included > Kochar recreated it with significant changes from the initial version, which had included
- restored (current) > current restored
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- , but no senior official > ; no senior officials
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- including literary scholar and writer > including the literary scholar and writer
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- sculptor Grigor > the sculptor Grigor
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- Actor Zhan > The actor Zhan
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- It was erected > The statue was erected
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- (1962), in front > remove comma
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- memorial, erected > memorial erected
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- new trend in statues in Yerevan, where they no longer dominate over people and streets by their formidable height > new trend in statues in Yerevan in which they no longer towered over people and streets with their formidable height.
- , at the feet of the horse, > remove commas
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- lighting, was > lighting, and was
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
Description and symbolism
[edit]- with an overly muscular > with a heavily muscled physique
- "lightning sword"—Tur ketsaki > tur ketsaki ("lightning sword").
- Kochar explained the large size of the horse's tail and the lack of reins and bit with its anthropomorphic and supernatural qualities as narrated in the epic. > Kochar explained that the large size of the horse's tail, its lack of reins and bit, and its anthropomorphic and supernatural qualities were as narrated in the epic.
open to "choosing" > open to choosing (not enough of Simyan's work to require quotation marks) trail station building > railway station. (unless you're referring to a different building) pool, from which the epic hero rises, symbolize > pool from which David rises symbolize
Reception
[edit]- For this section, I would recommend adding titles for as many people as possible. "The sculptor Lev Kerbel said XYZ" is more impactful than "Lev Kerbel said XYZ" because it adds context and a degree of authority.
- which earned him...widely considered Kochar's > which earned Kochar...widely considered his
- A Communist magazine > A communist magazine
- It refers to the party, not the ideology. I've rephrased it to "local Communist Party magazine".----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- acquired an iconic status,[59][60] and: remove comma
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- It has also been widely admired > The statue has also been widely admired
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- and often called as a > and has often been called a
- Architects Artsvin Grigoryan > The architects Artsvin Grigoryan
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- and compared favorably > and compared it favorably
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- it powerfully reflects> the statue powerfully reflects
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- As early as 1998 Armen Shekoyan > add comma
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- location—now just an ordinary residential area due to the decline in train arrivals—the > location, which had become an ordinary residential area due to the decline in train arrivals,
- architect Garri Rashidyan > the architect Garri Rashidyan
Notes
[edit]- Note C: Remove "However" and the comma.
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
Verifiability
[edit]- The film studio Hayfilm (formerly Armenfilm) uses the statue as its logo., It appeared on a 1968 and 1990 Soviet stamps and a 1991 Soviet commemorative coin., Yerevan Metro tokens depict the statue., and The statue is featured in the 1987 Soviet Armenian film The Road to Sasuntsi Davit [hy]. are all unsourced.
- Added ref to Hayfilm logo.----Երևանցի talk 12:09, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- Note A is unsourced.
- Added source.----Երևանցի talk 12:09, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- Footnote 26 is the only one that puts the page number in the prose itself. For consistency, I would recommend removing it and putting it in the citation itself, since it's the only page you cite from that source.
- Done----Երևանցի talk 12:09, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- Translations of all of the titles of foreign language sources would be very helpful.
- Done----Երևանցի talk 12:09, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
Spot check
[edit]Neutrality, broadness, and stability
[edit]- No issues.
Illustrated
[edit]- All images are properly tagged and beneficial to the article.