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Talk:Criminal (Britney Spears song)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Grandiose (talk · contribs) 11:26, 15 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

[edit]

Generally very good, as I expected. A few small things:

  • Images are fine (I accept the FURs); however, the captions could do with more focus on the image and less on the accompanying text (particularly the Rhianna one)
    It's the same thing as the We Found Love music video article and several others, no need to change it. - Saulo Talk to Me 20:48, 15 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    Well, WP:CAPTION advises against, which is linked as part of criterion 6. However I dn't feel particularly strongly, but I am surprised previous reviewers didn't mention it.
    But WP:CAPTION clearly states, "Different people read articles different ways. ... For those readers, even if the information is adjacent in the text, they will not find it unless it is in the caption". I don't really know how to write another better caption, since "Rihanna performing at the V Festival. Her music video for we found love..." would be not only too big, but it wouldn't make sense regarding the section's context. Do you have any ideas on how this can be re-written? - Saulo Talk to Me 02:59, 16 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • The italics on "just once" must be an addition and I don't think they're warranted as emphasis. In fact there are a few uses which need closer consideration.
    The phrase from the source is exactly like this, the reviewer emphasized it. - Saulo Talk to Me 20:48, 15 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Some spaced em-dashes are present. They should either be spaced en-dashes or unspaced em-dashes (not really a GA thing but I imagine you might want to take this on).
  • "Radio Mix": why the capitals?
    Why not? It is the remix title. - Saulo Talk to Me 20:48, 15 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    "Radio mix" is just a generic title for a radio edit, no? You've put The Radio Mix of "Criminal", not "Criminal (Radio Mix)" which would suggest you're using it in a generic way as well.
     Fixed - Saulo Talk to Me 02:59, 16 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref #88, I assume something's wrong there
     Fixed - Saulo Talk to Me 20:48, 15 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • The "Critical reception" section is a bit of a list. Were you going with a theme per paragraph?
    I could paraphrase it more if you few like it's needed. - Saulo Talk to Me 20:48, 15 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    It's not the paraphrasing, it's identifying a flow. How does the content of each paragraph differ?
    It doesn't. I have shortened it to two paragraphs just so the visual of the page can look better. Or is it needed to be on huge paragraph with all those reviews? - Saulo Talk to Me 02:59, 16 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • (Oh, and the previous abandoned review: I assume there were no outstanding comments?)
    I don't think the other reviewer even started it. - Saulo Talk to Me 20:48, 15 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Placing article on hold, I'd hope to get this wrapped up quickly. Grandiose (me, talk, contribs) 11:26, 15 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]