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GA Review

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Nominator: Epicgenius (talk · contribs) 17:46, 27 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Xarinu (talk · contribs) 04:46, 3 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]


Hello @Epicgenius: I'll be reviewing this article as part of the January 2025 GAN Drive. (I might be a little late to respond, just so you know.)


@Epicgenius: First off:

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Concerns with plagiarism

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  • The following excerpt from the Consumer Products section appears to have been copied from this website: "...included Vermeer's painting The Milkmaid from the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam, a streamlined pencil sharpener, a diner (still in operation as the White Mana in Jersey City, New Jersey), a futuristic car-based city by General Motors, and..." other sections have been highlighted by Earwig's Copyvio, but are either coincidences/quotes or appear to be paraphrased text. Please remove the above section, or rephrase it.

Length

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The amount of mean words per article on the English Wikipedia is 460. This article is comprised of ~10,588. As explained in WP:CANYOUREADTHIS, at about 10,000 words on a single Wikipedia page, it would be more beneficial to move sections to other pages or trim sections down, for the sake of the average reader's attention span.
7,500-8,000 words is generally considered the upper limit before trimming should be done according to WP:SIZERULE, so I'd suggest cutting the article down to around 6,500-7,000 words before continuing review. I will be putting this article on hold for 7 days, to allow time for editing. When you feel that you've adequately addressed the concerns with article length, ping me, and I will take the article off of hold.
Some sections (i.e. intro of? Development) are rather short and probably couldn't be made more concise, while "May to October" and "1940 Season" both exceed 700 words. Below is a list of the names of sections I'd recommend you edit down:

Need Trimming:

  • 1936 and 1937
  • May to October
  • 1940 Season
  • Zones

Less Necessary, but could still use a trim:

  • 1938 and 1939
  • Off-Season
  • Landscape Features
  • Transportation
  • Visual Art and Sculpture
  • Site and Structures
  • Foreign exhibits and staff
  • Reception
  • Economic and regional influence

When I receive your ping, I will post my full assessment of the article. If you have questions/comments/concerns, please ping me & send me a message here! If you need more than 7 days to shorten the article, I can either extend the onhold time or post the assessment & fail it, giving you plenty of time to work on the article either way. (With the latter, you will be more than welcome to resubmit this article afterwards!)
🪐 Xarinu 🪐 (Talk 2 Me :] ) 21:20, 3 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Xarinu, thanks for taking up the review. Good point regarding the article's size - it is quite lengthy, though this is in some part because of the large cultural influence that the fair had. I've condensed this article to about 8,000 words, around the threshold where WP:SIZERULE says that an article "may need to be divided or trimmed". Please let me know if there are other details in particular that you think can be trimmed.
I've also rephrased the problematic text you mentioned above. – Epicgenius (talk) 22:47, 3 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
@Epicgenius: thanks for your prompt response! (And I apologize for my lack thereof.) I agree with you, ~8,500 ~8,000 words should be fine for an article of this level of cultural signifigance, so I will put this article back on review.
I'm almost done with initial passes on this article, but it will probably be at least another day before I have finished compiling and double-checking my work thus far, so apologies for that. I will ping you when ready with an initial review.
Cheers,
🪐 Xarinu 🪐 (Talk 2 Me :] ) 06:57, 4 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Epicgenius: Apologies for my lateness, a computer crash reverted a good deal of my work. This is the initial review of your article, where it is compared against the six Good Article criteria.

Accurate & Verifiable

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  • With the problematic sentence removed, this article is now free of copyright violations.
  • Every single citation I checked verified the text it was placed on to a sufficient degree!

Cite Spot-Check

[62] [11] [230] [9] [372] [476] [226] [105] [348] [132] [58] [389]-(b) [287]-(a) [65] [152] [208] [401]-(a) [111] [131] [180]-(b) [245] [129] [393] [218] [93]-(a) – Good


Well-Written

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Overall, this article contains mostly clean and neat prose, though there are some sections that contain small punctuation errors or bits that could be revised. Please read the summary located at the bottom of this post for instructions (if needed).
Reference MOS:PUNCTUATION for punctuation-related suggestions.
Please feel free to challenge my suggestions (if you do so, please note as such below applicable points.)

Intro/Lead/Lede

Good, except for:

  • "indirectly influenced Queens's further development." – Per MOS:PLURALNOUN, "Queens's" should be "Queens' ".


Development

  • "in 1853–1854; the city did not host" – I would change the semicolon to a period.
  • "Joseph Shadgen had come up with the idea with the World's Fair" – Replace the second "with" with "for".
  • "Joseph Shadgen had come up with" – Change to "Joseph Shadgen came up with".
  • "for the fair that October. and the New York World's Fair" – Replace the period with a comma.
  • "January 1936, allowing" – Change to "January 1936, which allowed".
  • "ash mounds; excavating Meadow and Willow lakes; and" – Replace the semicolons with commas.
  • "The International Convention Bureau endorsed the 1939 World's Fair, allowing the bureau's 21 member countries to host exhibits there, and Lehman also invited the governors of other U.S. states." – Try breaking this sentence into two.
  • "in January 1938; by then, Whalen was" – Replace the semicolon with a period.

Operation

  • "promoted 17 other publications about the fair" – This reads a little awkwardly, perhaps change it to "17 publications' stories about the fair" or similar.
  • "in February 1939; which were" – Change the semicolon to a comma.
  • "president Stanley M. Isaacs had wanted" – Add commas before and after the name ("president, Stanley M. Isaacs,".)
  • "at the fair, and, due to" – Remove the comma after "and".
  • "well as "bargain books" with food" – Add a comma after "'bargain books'".
  • "By mid-August the WFC" – Add a comma after "mid-August".
  • "for safekeeping, and the" Remove the comma.
  • "concessionaires increased ticket prices; the fair's" – I would replace the semicolon with a comma or a period.
  • "In large part due to inclement weather, some concessionaires considered closing their attractions by that August, and attendance" – I recommend rewording to: "their attractions that August(/by that August). Attendance..."


Fairground

  • "the 1939 season and 13" – Add a comma after "season".
  • "donated a million tulip bulbs" – I would recommend, per MOS:NUMERAL, changing "a million" to "1 million".
  • "Some streets in were named after" – Could fix this in a few different ways - simply remove the "in", or change to something like "Some streets in the fairground".
  • "private companies; government exhibits; and" – Recommend replacing semicolons with commas.
  • "by the WFC; the" – The semicolon can be replaced with a period.
  • "and Max Abramovitz and consisted" – Add a comma after the name.
  • "and sphere." – Is there a better (more detailed) way to describe the perisphere?
  • "There were two focal exhibits that were" – This feels a little awkward as an introduction - maybe rephrase to "Two of the focal exhibits were" or similar.


Culture

  • "multiple color scheme." – Replace "scheme" with "schemes".
  • "At the Masterpieces of Art building were hundreds of rare paintings; during the 1940 season, even more paintings were shown." – Rephrase to: "At the Masterpieces of Art building, there were hundreds of rare paintings. During the 1940 season, even more paintings were shown." Or similar.
  • "Organ Company, along with nylon, cellophane, and Lucite." – Consider splitting the sentence after "Organ Company" (i.e. "...Organ Company. Newly synthesized polymers nylon and lucite were also displayed, along with the relatively recent invention cellophane." or similar.)
  • "For the 1939 season, there were at least 40 restaurants" – Rephrase the opening to this section.


Aftermath

  • "demolished, and workers were" – Consider removing the comma.
  • "before again reverting to park use in 1967." – Use parallel structure - "before reverting to using the(/"park use in") park again in 1967."
  • "Polish Government in exile" – I think it was normally known as the "Polish government-in-exile (hyphens)".
  • "cost (later revised to 39.2%)." – Remove parentheses, add a comma after "cost."


Impact

  • Reorganize intro to Reception - e.x. "The Washington Post wrote in 1936, while the fair was still being developed, that the fair would give New York City a permanent public park," or similar.
  • "while the 'visitors" – Remove "the".
  • "said the event 'will still" – Add "that", move back start of citation ("said that the event will 'still'") or similar.
  • "fair' even" – Add a comma after the quote (fair').
  • "Exposition) would" – Add a comma after the parentheses.
  • "million visitors who" – Add a comma after "visitors".
  • "with Queens's further development." Same as top, should be "Queens' ".
  • "to New York Public Library." – To the New York Public Library.
  • "1930s, wile" – While.
  • "the fair. These include" – Try rephrasing to "This memorabilia/ephemera/These souvenirs include..."
  • "Heller, amd Seymour" – Remove "amd".

Broad

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As previously discussed, this article is quite broad. The length of the article is not now a problem, however - I find that every section and subsection mostly contains only necessary detail.

Neutral

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I have not found significant editorial bias in this article; opinions are stated without preference and the tone of the prose is kept professional throughout.


Stable

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This article is stable. It complies with WP:BATTLEGROUND and the edit warring policy.


Illustrated

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Images are relevant, on-topic, and tagged appropriately with "public domain"/"CC BY-SA 2.0"/"no restrictions".


Review Summary

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This article easily passes five of the six criteria, of course requiring some revising before passing the "well-written" barrier. Just address every point raised, I'll do a last pass-over of the article and bring up anything else that needs to be addressed, and we can move on to passing the article!
🪐 Xarinu 🪐 (Talk 2 Me :] ) 09:59, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Epicgenius: This article looks great! I'm going to give it a checkY pass.
This was a fascinating article, very thorough and well-sourced. I quite enjoyed reading it, and wish you congratulations on your new GA! (The bot may take a moment to add the GA icon to the article's front page.)
🪐 Xarinu 🪐 (Talk 2 Me :] ) 01:32, 9 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
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