Wikipedia:Best of BJAODN

This page is currently inactive and is retained for historical reference.
Either the page is no longer relevant or consensus on its purpose has become unclear. To revive discussion, seek broader input via a forum such as the village pump.

This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous.
Such material is not meant to be taken seriously.

Shortcuts

This is a collection of the best jokes and nonsense from Wikipedia:Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense. The criterion for a joke getting on this page is simple: at least one Wikipedian found it funny and wrote a 10 page essay on for their psycho dissertation. This report was then presented to the President of the United States, the honorable state of Canada, all 100 bureaucrats that live there, and Al Gore. If one of them found it funny, it therefore qualified for this honor which was bestowed upon the poster on the 31 Junetember, 2056 AD.

Th'u~nks

Th'u~nks as a religion, was born when two prophets — known as the Two Great Piephits by practitioners of the religion — discussed the greatness, and spiritual meaning that can be found in the humble pie, particularly the pukka (pronounced "puck-ah") variety. Currently it has believers in countries around the globe.

Origins

In the year 2006 CE the Piephits were discussing the benefits of the pie over other pastry based savoury foods, when they were struck by a joint moment of revelation. This moment, known as The Pievation, was believed to be the moment when the Master Baker showed the true meaning of pastry, and consequently life to the Two Great Piephits. From this they jointly established the main underlying tenet of the religion, that of B'heegery and thus Th'u~nks was born.

B'heegery

This is the main philosophy of the religion, and a Th'u~nkseer must complete an act of B'heegery to become a true adult in the eyes of Th'u~nksian Church. After this a Th'u~nkseer may complete B'heegery as often as he or she likes. It is born out of the notion of conversion, the act of B'heegery being the conversion of another non-believer with a melodic shout of "You love-a the Pie", and the ceremonial handing over of a pie, preferably Pukka. The pie should then be eaten by the converted one, saving the crust until last. The foil casing that the pie arrived in then may be worn as a hat, to show others that the wearer embraces B'heegery. The Th'u~nkseer then must crush the crust of the pie and dissolve it into a can of Holy Red Bull (PBUI) before trickling a few drops of this divine Drink of the Gods down his intergluteal cleft.

Worship

The normal method of worship is the weekly attendance of a Pie Factory, services are held on the factory floor, usually by the owner of the Factory (naturally all Pie Factory managers are Th'u~nkseers). On entrance to the factory, one must make the traditional cry "Me love-a the Pie". The service mainly consists of the handing out of the Piehost, and the silent, meditative consumption of it. Of course this act of worship is substitute to the act of B'heegery, which is often known as "The Pure Worship". Some devout Th'u~nkseers refuse to worship in this way, and worship solely through B'heegery; naturally these are responsible for the majority of conversions, and offer an explanation as to why Th'u~nks grew so quickly.

Conflict Within Th'u~nks

Very soon after the Piephits founded Th'u~nks and set down the fundamental aspects of B'heegery a split in the Church was formed. This stemmed out of the two Piephits inability to agree upon which crust is the greater, and therefore should be saved until last. This formed the famous Upper/Lower split in the Th'u~nksian Church. Some renegade Th'u~nkseers believe that this split in belief was an intentional design of the Master Baker's, and that no crust is greater than the other: as such they eat whichever crust they please, to the great disgust on the behalf of most Th'u~nkseers. This instability in the early Church was further compounded by unfounded rumours that the naming of the fundamental aspect of Th'u~nks (B'heegery) was named after a crude, minor expletive. At this point the religion threatened to collapse, and so the Two Great Piephits set aside their differences temporarily to reassure that this was not the case. After this both the Upper and Lower aspects of the religion grew in size (there has also recently been a definite increase in those believing the renegade view of Equal Crusts), and since then the religion has remained stable.

Jimmy Nuetron: Boy Satan

THIS IS THE TRUE DUNSPARCE! SKATE2WIN AND MYSPACE ARE NO MATCH FOR ME! I WILL EAT UP JIMMY NEUTRON BOY SATAN!!! JIMMY NEUTRON BOY SATAN!!! IT IS ABOUT THIS BOY WHO TURNS TO A SATAN AND HIS RIVALS INCLUDE MEWTWO (GO TROUBLE SHOWDOWN!!!), THE REAL SATAN (He's not cool), ROBOT DEVIL (Robot Hell is 1337!), AND BOOPER GRANDSON (YOU MOP FLIPPING BITCHHEAD!). JIMMY NEUTRON BOY SATAN ALSO HAS FRIENDS SUCH AS CARL THE LARD EATER AND SHEEN THE CULT WORSHIPER! THERES CINDY THE HELL VORTEX AND LIBBY THE DEMONIC SECRETARY! THEY GO TO HELL SCHOOL AND THEIR TEACHER, THE ELDER MRS DEVIL TEACHES THEM HOW TO BE NEW BOY SATANS! JIMMY NEUTRON TRIES TO MAKE SATAN TRUE BUT THEN HIS RIVALS (Except for the real Satan) ALWAYS FOIL HIS PLANS AND DO COOLER THINGS BESIDES DOING CRAP AND MAKING A CRAPPY SHOW! ALSO JIMMY NEUTRON HAS A MECHANICHAL CEREBRUS CALLED DRADDOG AND IT EATS JIMMY NEUTRON BOY SATAN EVERY SINGLE EPISODE! BUT IT GOT CANCELED.

Theme song

The television theme music was written and performed by the devil. The version of the theme song in the film, while based on Causey's theme, was performed by some hobo they payed with soup cans. Fione hangs out with him too. Jimmy and Carl riding in a homemade box.

Y0-Y0 Ma

Y0-Y0 Ma plays Yo-Yo Ma, who lives in the human universe. Y0-Y0 Ma was born on Availy 32, 123456789, so he is 40 years, 13 months, 5 weeks, and 8 days old as of Verely 0, 987654321. He was born in Culombos of District, Wishongtan, Amerigan Union of Soviet Capitalist Tribes.

About the actor

Y0-Y0 Ma is an actor who enjoys playing nonexistent creatures. Of all the beings he had played, his favorite are the humans. He enjoys playing them, because they aren't that sophisticated, so he doesn't have to be. Of course, no one understands what he's saying when he is acting, because all the actors speak in Humanish language for "authenticity". His favorite character, Yo-Yo Ma, is a parody on his name.

Y0-Y0 Ma currently resides in Los Diablos, Jaba Nacilofria, A.U.S.C.T.

From Dikembe Mutombo

Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean Jacques wa Mutombo akamatonasa kowialata tatabokinoltamosa mutabola si koshkatamogo tagakirioksomotolak makaslkkm otoomanokorumbo sinotaocosama chiwatonakaloso jamalitpundi sajalu mutabaofaka nihow chichaw born June 25, 1966 in Kinshasa, Zaire is a basketball player in the NBA, playing as reserve center for the Houston Rockets.

Created by:"Mr. B" Boxbrown 18:09, 23 April 2006 (UTC)boxbrown[reply]

Note: This is not actually his real name.

From Coleoptera

The most musical of the Insecta, Coleoptera are known for their tight, 4-part harmonizing and catchy melodies.

From Cow Tipping

Tip #1

The worst kind of cow tipping is on wild cows. Wild cows are hard to find, however are wildly unpredictable. You never know what a wild cow's defenses are. They may spit blood, or even venomous toxins into your eyes in order to disable you. Once disabled, they may try to eat your internal organs.

Tip #2

If you succeed in tipping a cow only partway, such that only one of its feet is still on the ground, you have created lean beef. Such a feat is well done. Naturally, being outside, the cow is unstable. When it falls over, it becomes ground beef. David

From Drummer

Someone who hangs out with musicians. Its also someone who carrys around 2 sticks and bangs on large round things;)

From Cryptozoology

Cryptozoology studies such "hidden", undiscovered and possibly non-existent creatures as the bigfoot, what happens when a sock disappears from the washing machine, (cf. Patterson-Gimlin film) and the Loch Ness Monster.

From Larry Sanger

TRANSMISSION FROM THE YEAR 2007: STANDBY FOR TIME MOVEMENT:

Weeding was generally thought to be the first indication that Wikipedia would lose its free form nature and become moderated by a small knit circle of fascists willing to impose their own intellectual aesthetic on others, much like Slashdot. Although this increased the consistency of the site and decreased the number of punctuation and spelling errors, a small and militant minority noticed the decrease in the intellectual diversity of the entries, and went on to form its own splinter group, Shittipedia.

By 2005, Wikipedia had become an incorporated entity and was bought out by Westinghouse for 35 million dollars, making many of its key authors very wealthy, while simultaneously alienating tens of thousands of miscreants, ne'er do wells, and other undesirables (who in fact had provided 90% of its content).

See Also fascism elitism Internet Authority Disease --the naked net crusader (ed: otherwise known as the much-loved and missed Sammy Snake) (another ed: I would say "the sort of loved and "missed despite our better judgement Sammy Snake)

(and note that this piece was given the lie when Wikipedia was *actually* bought out by Encyclopedia Britannica in 2005... --Baylink 22:13, 5 Apr 2005 (UTC))

Political Philosophy (from Bexley Hall (MIT))

Bexley Hall has a unique set of governing laws. Many dormitories throughout the United States have meager, impotent governmental bodies operated by either photogenic male sociopath proto-politicians or detail-obsessed sexually-repressed females bent on attaining perfection at the cost of their humanity (some examples: Kathy Lee-Gifford, Tracy Flick). Bexley hall is different. According to noted anarchist thinker Rudolph Rocker, Bexley Hall is an "... oddly prescient example of what the future anarcho-syndicalist living situation should resemble... truly a place where the calcified rotten husk of formalist government has been upended, pulped, and made into rolling papers for the smoking of intoxicating plants."

Bexley Hall was first to understand that government by people (or even robots) was inefficient and error prone. People tend to be afflicted with 'principles' and 'morality', they are also subject to 'reality'. Bexley was the first institution to institute a de facto illusory governing construct, pre-dating Foucault's deconstructionist theories by some two decades.

As the case of Ronald Reagan amply demonstrates, in this age of mass-media, people do not want and cannot tolerate being ruled by humans. They want to be ruled by myths. Mythological rulers are more appealing, more effective, and ultimately more cost effective for all. They transcend the straightjackets of 'objectivity', 'consistency', 'honesty', and 'ethics' that hampered previous non-constructed leaders. Actual politics is quite boring and will not satisfy the current generations of television and internet-saturated entertainment consumers. Expecting these consumers to have any working knowledge of history (or even the present) that will allow them to differentiate 'fact' from 'fantasy' is far too much to ask. Anything with a semantic content more sophisticated than People Magazine is difficult and disturbing for the average American.

In the year 1920, Bexley-based political scientists experimented with the 'construct' idea. It was considered absurd, irresponsible, and nihilistic -- because it was, and the creators said so themselves. They suspended research in 1941 to work on Radar, and were hired again by HUAC in the early 1950s. Their stunning success was noted in governmental circles and a project was inaugurated to unify the powers of Hollywood and Washington to create a cross-national axis of delusion.

The Bexleyites called this elaborate, highly funded secret operation PROJECT REAGAN. Through a miracle of public relations firm moxie and animatronic genius, the Reagan-bot broke down the barriers between fantasy and reality in a masculine fashion.

By 1980 the transfer to a completely fantasy-based system of political economy was complete when Ronald Reagan was elected President of the United States. The purposely fantastical and delusional actions of the government caused the fall of the Soviet Union when the Russian government realized they could not compete with the sheer entertainment power of the United States. The United States' systematic program of voluntary, incentive-based stupidification was far more successful than the Soviet Union's program of forced, involuntary stupidification.

Racing to catch up, Gorbachev implemented Perestroika and Glastnost to try and compete, but by the end of the decade America's PROJECT YELTSIN seized power and implemented a foreign style delusion-based system of political economy, creating a fantastic narrative where the President was a drunken buffoon who fired one Prime Minister after another, suspended democracy on multiple occasions by dismissing the Duma, and even sent forth tanks to fire on the nation's highest legislative body. An interesting side-note was the creation of the Cheap Vodka Party, a short-lived group of politicians who were promising and, based on the absurdity of their premise, capable of seizing power over the world's largest country; until they were upended by the fantastically funny and fanatical Vladimir Zhironovsky, who threatened to take back Alaska from the United States if elected. Cheap vodka is one thing, but promising frivolous war on a nuclear power is clearly the trump card of balderdash.

This article was written by Marc Rios, a former resident of Bexley.

From Logical positivism

Logical positivism asserts that only statements about empirical observations are meaningful, effectively asserting that all metaphysical statements are meaningless.

Unfortunately, this fundamental tenet of logical positivism belongs to the family of statements that it asserts to be meaningless. As a result, the entire edifice of logical positivism vanishes in a puff of logic.

This insight appears not to have occurred to the logical positivist school of philosophers.

Update - Of course it did. What appears not have appeared to them or the writer of this dismissive summary, is that these cyclical problems with truth and metaphysics, show up that logic should be allowed to die gracefully in a puff of reality. There's more to real life than schoolboy jokes about logic, because there is more to life than logic.

This might have still been in the article, but I'm updating this because I keep grabbing random phrases from here and then Ctrl+F-ing into the article and cannot find any matches: Logical positivism failed primarily on the basis that its fundamental tenets could not themselves be formulated in a way that was clearly consistent. The verifiability criterion did not seem verifiable; but neither was it simply a logical tautology, since it had implications for the practice of science and the empirical truth of other statements. This presented severe problems for the logical consistency of the theory.

And is also in charge of the sheep dip.

From Talk:Adolf Hitler

In any encyclopedia, Hitler should be given a fair judgment.

He was not a blood-thirsty murderer. Rather a loving family man. He liked an animals and was kind to them.
Anyway, we so often say that a person who shows kindness to animals can't be a bad person.

Besides he had done a lot of good for the Germans, at least before the WW2 broke out.

Oh, and he enjoyed paying prostitutes to shit on him.

(Edit: The "blood-thirsty murderer" part I would not touch with a 10-foot pole.

The "loving family man" part is partially a lie. Firstly, Hilter did not marry (Eva Braun) until the day before they, along with their bunker mates, committed suicide. In that sense, Hitler was no "loving family man." On the other hand, rumors have surfaced that Hitler impregnated his niece. In this sense, he was very much so a "loving family man." (I have to mentally laugh here =))

Hitler did in fact, love animals, as his much loved german shepard, Blondi, will tell you. 'Hitler also visited Burma which is a country located beside Bangladesh in order to carry out killings of Muslims there' Hitler did in fact do a lot of good for Germany before the breakout of WWII, however any thought of that has mostlty been elimiated from history. But just think Autobahn, yes, that unlimited speed highway in Germany where new Mercedes Benzs are tested out, albeit that it was a tool for his blitzkrieg tactics; it was still a major public works project for a country that was in "water up to its neck" because of the terms of WWI. This is in addition to the various other public works projects.

As for the "paying prostitutes to shit on him," Hitler did not need to pay prostitutes, he had enough of a cult following of women who were too messed up in the head to care what he wanted them to do. As for the shitting part, it could have very well been what Hitler wanted, but none of those messed up women talked about it, unfortunately.) --Lonelysoul01 09:15, 21 November 2005 (UTC)[reply]

From Jules Rimet trophy

Mildly amusing vandalism:

It is named after the FIFA president Jules Rimet who in 1929 passed a vote to initiate the competition after a bittersweet reunion with the gruff but lovable dwarf who took him in as a child and raised him despite his constant bout with Rickets.

From CPGM

The Coalition to Prevent Gratuitous Misuse (CPGM) was organized in 1901 to protest the (then) common misuse of the word weight to mean mass. The movement gained momentum (defined as the vector product of its velocity and mass) when SI was officially adopted in place of metric system, which no longer carried its weight. This movement captured the imagination of the mass of scientists throughout the world, although the general public remained unmoved, since a body at rest tends to remain at rest (see Newton's Laws).

this should never have been deleted, it is a work of genius (edit: I think you mean "genius," genius.) (edit 2: The electric boogaloo: I think you mean genius, "genius".)

From All your base are belong to us

It remains to be seen whether any of these phrases will acquire any global meaning at all, but if they do, you will most certainly read about it here first, as Wikipedia is the authority on this kind of thing, and is certainly the only encyclopedia in any position to track such absurdity given how fast it grows.

From Regis Philbin

Albums

1968: It's Time for Regis!
2004: When You're Smiling
2005: The Regis Philbin Christmas Album (US: #74 UK: 163 [US Sales: 126,000])
2008: Mo Million's, Mo Problems feat. Jay Z

Singles

2005: Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer (feat. Donald Trump "Rudolph, you're hired! Blitzen, you're fired!"
2005: Frosty the Snowman
2006: Frosty the Dopeman remix feat. NWA

From Mandelbrot set

Mandelbrot set

Sample generated image

Scientific classification

Kingdom:	Mathematica
Phylum:	Fractales
Class:	Iteratae
Order:	Juliaformes
Family:	Amygdalartidae
Genus:	Amygdalartos
Species:	benedictus

Binomial nomenclature

Amygdalartos benedictus

The Mandelbrot set (Amygdalartos benedictus, a close relative of the logistic map, A. logisticus) is a fractal.

From Malaga (province)

The Sun Coast (Costa del Sol) is a concrete monster that swallows, burns, and spits back millions of happy European tourists.

From Musician

However, musicians, at least insofar as their human manifestations go, can be distinguished from other creatures that create melodic sounds by their insistence on producing such sounds even when there is no clear reason for them to do so and even in the face of compelling reasons to cease such activity in favour of dealing with crises affecting their personal survival. In other words, even when no reward or likely advantage is to be obtained by the performance of "Brown Eyed Girl" or "Mustang Sally" in a bar full of losers, a musician will, nevertheless, perform such composition or other "song" requested by any audience even as his (or her) girlfriend (or boyfriend) is being wooed by the bartender and/or all his/her belongings are being carted off to a disposal site and/or staff of such establishment are telling him/her to "stop now!". (See also, "guitarist" and "singer" and "homeless person".)

Edit: As a well rounded musician I would just like to point out that I am in fact, not homeless, nor have I had my girlfriend (or boyfriend) 'wooed' by the bartender. As well, I would like to point out that the creator of this post is most likely, a failed musician. Sadly, I'm inclined to agree with playing requests, afterall, it is the goal of a musician to entertain not only themselves, but the audience as well.

Edit: Male classical musicians can easily be identified by their eccentric hair and penchant for rimless spectacles. Evgeny Kissin [1] is a prime example of male classical artists who adopt the "sweep it back and let it grow" hairdressing technique. Female classical musicians are harder to spot, but can usually be put into one of two categories: a) mousy librarian types; or b) superficially glamorous but slightly neurotic suburbanites.

Edit: I used to think the "sweep it back and let it grow" style was some kind of anti-authoritarian statement by musicians generally compelled to wear formal clothing. It may be that too, but its ubiquity is more likely dictated by being the least expensive way to ignore the growth of hair. Milo 14:18, 19 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Edit: I have a joke that can go here...What's the difference between a 10-inch pizza and a musician? The pizza can feed a family. Heard it from my dad the musician...Patrick Flynn 01:02, 19 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

From Alternative rock

Alternative rock is the name given to one stone when you're looking at another stone. The term was coined by photographer Edwin Blastocyst when looking at one stone and speaking about another, oddly enough.

The quote from Edwin Blastocyst needs to be verified.

(Note: I'm not sure Blastocyst was a real person, considering that "blastocyst" is a stage of embryonic growth.) --99.140.189.24 (talk) 05:42, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

From Ontario

Niagara Falls is on the border between Ontario and some unimportant part of the USA

I suppose if one was actually from North Tonowonda, it could be important, maybe...

I've been to Niagara Falls, USA. Trust me, you do not want to admit you live in Niagara Falls, USA. People from Niagara Falls, USA should just say they're from Buffalo. Niagara Falls, USA makes northern Maine look high-class.

Please cite your sources so others can check your work.

-- I don't suggest putting it back into the article, but I can confirm that this is mostly true

Northern Maine is high class. We now have a third McDonald's. Almost.

From Poland

From an Englishman's diary:

Monday: I went drinking with the Poles
Tuesday: I think I'm going to die
Wednesday: I went drinking with the Poles again
Thursday: Why the hell didn't I die on Tuesday...

And in Poland they tell this joke about russians ... Oh, well

The r e a l:) version is:

the next morning i had a hangover - i had better died yesterday

From Politics of Belgium

Each minister gets two pigmey goats to ride to and from the office. They are fed entirely on chocolate and European bitterness.

From Recursive acronym

Cygnus — Cygnus, Your GNU Support (though Cygnus says this is a backronym, while opponents maintain Cygnus, Your GNU Sucks)

From numerical analysis

Finite elements is a more powerful approach to numerical differential equations than finite difference, but mathematicians prefer the latter because the theorems are easier to prove. Shame on them.

From United States#Standard of Living

Hey! I wrote this! See K5 - Ta bu shi da yu 09:18, 7 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

The United States is historically remarkable for being the first nation with obese poor people.

From Sociology

Sociology is grand! It is the study of social structures like laws and rules and regulations and what we sociologists call. "Mores (pronounced more A's, beloved students) :-) and folkways and customs and taboos.

The word, "sociology", in its furthest "Far out!" context, is a real mind-bender because it means the study of all humanity.

"Sir! You think I can study six BILLION people?" :-)

Good Lord! :-)

Sociology! SOCIOLOGY!

Sociologists are the Gardeners in the Mind -- the "Ideaculturists" in the Garden if the Human Mind, quite like the horticulturists who deal with other growing things.

See a good offshoot? Perhaps help it along?

Cheers! :-)

[COMMENT: Bill Nye the Sociology Guy...]

From Wales

"Not to be confused with Jimbo Wales, or with whales, which are both considerably smaller than Wales and not Celtic, as far as we know."

From special:Wantedpages

Free will is wanted by 11 articles

From Pupil

Q. Why was the teacher cross-eyed?

A. Because she couldn't control her pupils.

From Wikipedia:Announcements

I would need the names & addresses of Literary Agents who's business is Extra Sensory Perception (ESP) related. Have used ESP all in my life and written a book about. The manuscript is completed and edited by a person who has nine of her books (not ESP related) published. Please send your suggestions to TomKallai@worldnet.att.net. Thanks for anybody's help. Tom Kallai

So you have ESP, right? So, why don't you just... man, this joke writes itself! --Stephen Gilbert

From Nose picking

Quotations

"How did you know I went to Harvard?" "I noticed your class ring when you picked your nose."
"You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friend's nose."
"I know he picks his nose. Feel under the furniture."

From Voltaic Democratic Union

A shocking political development.

As far as I know this was necer written in the article. This started as a stub : "Shocking, just shocking!".

BTW do you know that when Haute-Volta became Burkina Faso some civil servant decided that the Piles photovoltaïques should be renamed Piles photoburkinabé ?

Ericd 23:03, 9 Nov 2004 (UTC)

From Vandalism in progress

Someone vandalised Single-party state with Finally Paul Morton's weiner is huge. All the girls want to suck on it. They want him to fuck their hot pussies untiol they are tired! -ÉÍREman

Did he provide a citation? If not, delete it and ask him to NPOV it. I'm suspicious anyway: a google search on "Paul Morton's weiner" returns zero hits. -º¡º

I think the spelling is wrong. Shouldn't it be "wiener"? Google then reports 13 hits.

I would hit on that!...

From Baby Catapult

The Baby Catapult is an invention of insane genius Maxwell Q. Infantlauncher of Indianapolis, Indiana. It is not meant to launch actual infants; it is meant to launch Cabbage Patch Kids and the sort. The goal is for them to go 100 feet in the air, and 500 feet along the ground. The catapult should be finished by mid-2004.

edit: I, for one, am disappointed.

From Bird classification

Bird classification is the process of identifying birds into classes.

More lunacy: (this is now at User:Node_ue/Birdidae)

From Types of Bird

There are several types of bird, all included in the bird family Birdidae. The systematics of this taxon are most complex, and bemuse anyone but the most committed and knowledgeable birdologist.

A simplified classification tree follows:

===Air Birds=== (genus Flybirdia) These are the most common bird group. They are found in the air, although one occasionally sees them on the ground due to a frequent brief medical condition known as wing cramp or pterostasis.

From Self-referential humour

#redirect [[Self-referential humour]]

edit: Currently the article is tagged "This article or section does not cite its references or sources."

♥Water on Mars♥

Evidently, there is also glass and a plastic wrapper and now MY JAWS!

Coca-Cola in the Wild

In its natural state, Coca-Cola is docile until attacked, when it will spray sweet liquid on the predator. It has many foes, such as:

Teens
Children
Parents
Movie-goers

Yet it is often found and eaten. It does many things to protect itself. It may 'accidentally' tip over when frightened, or disguise itself as the less popular Pepsi or Dr. Pepper. Still, even with its most creative attempts, its foes still find it.

In the wild, it stays in packs of 5-23 other cans. Sadly, many packs have been taken into captivity, where rings are put tightly around their middles and the cans are put into boxes. They are then sold to people who take them to houses, where they will not be fed or allowed to roam around.

From Kool-Aid

The product mascot of Kool-Aid is a gigantic anthropomorphic pitcher filled with some kind of anonymous red liquid (Maybe it's drugs, who knows?) that seemingly at random bursts through walls with complete disregard for human life, causing countless thousands of dollars in property damage. He then chuckles and utters his thought-terminating catchphrase 'Oh Yeah!'. He has yet to be apprehended, so if you know anything about the whereabouts of this wanted fugitive, please call 1-800-555-KOOL or notify your local authorities, and consider him armed and very dangerous.

CNNBCBS

CNNBCBS is a division of ABC. By 2010, CNN, NBC, and CBS will have become a subsidiary of American Broadcasting Company.

Wouldn't it be ABCNNBCBS?

Not according to the writers of "The Simpsons."

Todo

See this page.

Wikipedium

Wikipedium is a naturally occurring element in space. It is interesting, because Wikipedium seems to have an infinite amount of protons, neutrons, and electrons. Thus, an ion is impossible. Also, there would only be one kind of isotope.

The name "Wikipedium" came from the name of the encyclopedia Wikipedia. It was so named, because the community of encyclopedists discovered the element through an extensive experiment and announced the findings a month later.

Its implications in nuclear physics are very important, considering that the product of a nuclear fission of a wikipedium atom would always be two wikipedium atoms, creating matter in an infinite cycle.

(Note: Ions and isotopes would be possible since what defines an atom is the number of protons, not the number of electrons or neutrons. For example, an atom with infinite numbers and 666 neutrons would still wikipedium. Anyway, any isotope of wikipedium would have an infinitesimal lifespan, because of untestability) --

From C is for Cookie

C is for Cookie can be regarded as a case study in persuasive oratory, emphasizing the emotional aspect of public speaking. Cookie Monster builds excitement by answering his opening rhetorical question, "Now what starts with the letter C?" with the obvious reply, "Cookie starts with C!" He then challenges the audience, "Let's think of other things that starts with C," before quickly replying, "Oh, who cares about the other things?" casually dismissing a whole range of other possibilities as irrelevant. Thus, having ostensibly come for the purpose of covering the letter C in its entirety, Cookie Monster has already focused his agenda exclusively on cookies, employing the classic bait and switch tactic. Several times in his presentation, Cookie Monster emphasizes what appears to be the central thesis of his remarks: "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me!" The appealing rhythm of this slogan appears designed to entrance listeners, swaying their emotions and making them instinctively want to chant along with him. After rousing the crowd, Cookie Monster systematically lays out the logical underpinnings of his pro-cookie ideology, comparing cookies to round donuts with one bite out of them and to the moon during its crescent phase, in essence using a straw man argument that implies his opponents would advocate the superiority of these competitors over cookies. In this sense, Cookie Monster may be proposing a false dichotomy representing cookies as the only viable choice to a group of obviously inferior alternatives. But before the audience has a chance to catch on, Cookie Monster launches into another round of repetitive chanting, "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me, yeah!" as young children sing along. Here, Cookie Monster uses a propaganda technique strikingly similar to that employed in George Orwell's Animal Farm by the pig Napoleon, who trained the farm's sheep to bleat, "Four legs good, two legs bad" on his cue. Cookie Monster then adds visual stimulation to his discourse by chomping into a large cookie, concluding his remarks with "Umm-umm-umm-umm-umm" and other chewing sounds.

Another very amusing addition (11 Jan 2006) to the C Is For Cookie page was the following subsection:

Other Things Starting with the Letter C

Carrot
Crabcakes
Cucumber

From Cristóbal Colón

I always thought he was an ass. Now I know he's a colon.

From Shih-Tzu

i know a friend that looks like this I also read Shih-Tzu as shit zoo

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