User:David~enwiki/Don't Get Over It

This is an essay.

It contains the advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors. This page is not an encyclopedia article, nor is it one of Wikipedia's policies or guidelines, as it has not been thoroughly vetted by the community. Some essays represent widespread norms; others only represent minority viewpoints.

If you've been editing for any length of time on Wikipedia, odds are you've stumbled across a talk page discussion or ten. Undoubtedly, you've found most of the people discussing a conflict calmly and pleasantly, with a respect for the talk page guidelines, consensus, and overall civility.

But not everyone. As the anti-mastodon league and mental air conditioners have explained, it is incredibly important - even essential to make sure that the quality of our civility far surpasses even that of our editing.

But there are some people - well-meaning editors all - who are so certain of their opinion, they try to short-circuit any discussion by firing a quick "I'm right, and it's going to stay/be deleted. Get over it." This statement, however, is unimaginably damaging to the Wikipedia project. Why? I'm glad you asked!

"Get Over It" sounds like it should be succeeded with "...loser."

This would make you a jerk, and is an overall bad idea. It dismisses the other party's opinion as invalid, unreasonably stupid, unworthy of consideration, or ridiculous. If they're a newcomer, they could feel bitten; if not, they might feel attacked.

"Get Over It" implies a mastery by one Wikipedian over the other.

Unless you have policy or consensus on your side, you are on an equal playing field. Think about the first time you ever heard anyone say "Get Over It" to you - it was probably someone who knew more about the subject than you, telling you that what you said didn't matter because it had already been answered. We're all on the same level, here.

"Get Over It" is a cop-out reply used to attempt a squelching of discussion.

"GOI" givers are ordinarily too busy with other things to think their reasonings through or to entertain open debate. However, Wikipedia's greatest asset is not its talk pages, nor indeed even its featured articles; it is, of course, its volunteers. Whether unregistered IPs, registered users, sysops, bureaucrats, or even Jimmy Wales himself, every element of the project is required for its smooth running. And they must all be aware that their contributions are needed. Squelching discussion before it begins implies that their input is unwelcome and unnecessary, when the exact opposite is true.

"Get Over It" implies an end to the discussion because you don't want to talk about it anymore.

We don't want that, under any circumstances. Again, take the time to engage in reasonable discussion. You're a Wikipedia editor because you like Wikipedia and care about the quality of articles that exist; in order to ensure quality, you'll need to make sure that the people you're working with on it feel like they're free to be bold.

"Get Over It" often has the opposite effect.

An angry GOI recipient will often, with spite, close their mind to any thought of compromise and a consensus before the discussion even starts. It creates a "me-against-the-world" mentality that makes them unwilling to contribute, and may even lead to vandalism.

"Get Over It" has a tendency to make the recipient angry.

You'd end up ratcheting up tensions, rather than dialing them down. Wikistress is real, and mastodons await the slightest provocation. Always assume that the other person is easier to offend than you are, and word your response accordingly. (Note: this is not meant to condone assumption of bad faith. It is simply an easy rule-of-thumb that encourages civility, and goes against the idea of GOI.)

"Getting Over It" would imply that one should simply stop caring about the quality of the project.

My word, I can't think of a worse idea! We want people to care more about the quality of the project, not less! We (you, I, Willy on Wheels, anyone) can't create an entire encyclopedia - and keep it up - on our own. No matter how much we want to. We need help - and with our (well, my) limited financial resources, we can't afford to hire anyone. So it seems as if we're stuck with volunteers.

So what can I do?

Well, I would suggest not using "Get Over It" in talk page discussions. If someone is being ornery, explain yourself! If they continue, request comment and establish a consensus. And if they still won't quit, start requesting administrator intervention. In short, do what you can to preserve a GOI-free Wikipedia!