User:Allthegoodghosts/Evaluate an Article
 | Evaluate an article
Complete your article evaluation below. Here are the key aspects to consider: Lead sectionA good lead section defines the topic and provides a concise overview. A reader who just wants to identify the topic can read the first sentence. A reader who wants a very brief overview of the most important things about it can read the first paragraph. A reader who wants a quick overview can read the whole lead section.
ContentA good Wikipedia article should cover all the important aspects of a topic, without putting too much weight on one part while neglecting another.
Tone and BalanceWikipedia articles should be written from a neutral point of view; if there are substantial differences of interpretation or controversies among published, reliable sources, those views should be described as fairly as possible.
Sources and ReferencesA Wikipedia article should be based on the best sources available for the topic at hand. When possible, this means academic and peer-reviewed publications or scholarly books.
Organization and writing qualityThe writing should be clear and professional, the content should be organized sensibly into sections.
Images and Media
Talk page discussionThe article's talk page — and any discussions among other Wikipedia editors that have been taking place there — can be a useful window into the state of an article, and might help you focus on important aspects that you didn't think of.
Overall impressions
Examples of good feedbackA good article evaluation can take a number of forms. The most essential things are to clearly identify the biggest shortcomings, and provide specific guidance on how the article can be improved. |
Which article are you evaluating?
[edit]Why you have chosen this article to evaluate?
[edit]My graduate thesis focuses on mountaineering in the early twentieth century as an outgrowth of imperialism and colonialism. For my project for this course, I'm hoping to shed more light on some of the figures that have been marginalized by the Eurocentric and Western-centric discourse that dominates the history of mountaineering; in particular, important Sherpa individuals. Ang Tharkay fits the bill, as he was crucial to the success of a number of important expeditions from the 1930s through the 1960s, including the Maurice Herzog-led French Expedition to Annapurna in 1950. The article is rated as "Start Class" on both WikiProject Nepal and WikiProject Climbing (both also rate the article as "low importance", with which I disagree).
Evaluate the article
[edit]Lead section
The lead is clear and concise, though perhaps too concise, as it only consists of two sentences. Moreover, it includes a direct quote, which, though attributed, is contrary to the Wikipedia ethos. It also ends with an uncited assertion about Ang Tharkay's personal relationship to Tenzing Norgay (see "Sources and References" below)
Content
The content is up to date (it's possible more recent articles and books on Himalayan mountaineering have come out, in which case, I'll aim to bring any new information I might find). Suffice it to say, it could use more bulk.
Tone and Balance
The article is generally well balanced, though the "Appreciation" section does read as a little patronizing (see "Organization and Writing Quality" below).
Sources and References
The article does use a number of reliable sources: the Ortner, Perrin, Isserman and Weaver, and Shipton books are good sources of information. With that said, the article draws a little bit heavily from blogs (including reference #19 that appears to just be a short recap of a book by Major John Dias... would it not be better to cite the book itself, rather than the recap?) Additionally, one of the citations is broken (reference #16), and it is the sole citation in the article that supports the statement that Ang Tharkay secured Tenzing Norgay's first assignment with a climbing expedition. That said, I've also read that information elsewhere (possibly in a work of Shipton's?), so it should be easy enough to swap in another source. It might be worth including more Shipton, considering the extent to which Shipton and Ang Tharkay collaborated?
Organization and writing quality
The writing quality is alright, though it could definitely use some work. There are some awkwardly constructed sentences, and some spelling mistakes (for instance, "memoirs" should only be "memoir," as Ang Tharkay only wrote the one, a mistake that likely stems from the title of his autobiography Mémoires d'un Sherpa, meaning in this case "memories of a Sherpa"). The structure is a bit strange, as there is an entire section that is dedicated to "Appreciation" by Western figures (seems a bit patronizing?) that could probably be renamed and reworked into a "Legacy" section instead, and the "Personal Life" section might be better situated after the "Major Expeditions" section, to bring it in line with other climbers' articles (see for instance Tenzing Norgay or Edmund Hillary).
Images and Media
There is a single image of Ang Tharkay, taken in 1935 by Dan Bryant, which is qualified as falling under "fair use".
Talk page discussion
There is very little discussion on this article. One user mentions the problematic conflation of the Sherpa people with "sherpa" as a profession (indicating something between a mountain porter and guide), and another who points to the ''Tintin'' character "Tharkey" being named after Ang Tharkay. The article has a "Start Class" rating, and is of "low importance" in both WikiProject Nepal and WikiProject Climbing.
Overall impression
It's a good start, but it could definitely use some cleaning up, some citation repairs, and a bit more content. I'm always a bit dismayed when I compare the Wikipedia articles of Western Climbers with even the most renowned Sherpa; compare Tenzing Norgay with Edmund Hillary, for instance, or say, Kami Rita Sherpa, who has climbed Everest twenty-five times, compared to George Leigh Mallory, who is famous for dying trying to climb the mountain.