Talk:Say Say Say/GA1

GA Review

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This article is very well-written and is close to being a Good Article. I had a few questions and concerns, however.

Lead:

• "McCartney's "War sessions" - "War" is not the album title, and the article on "Tug of War" doesn't mention the recording sessions being called the "War sessions". Is this an actual title for them?

It's called the "War sessions" in my reference book. I've reworded it because it doesn't mention it in that article.

Recording:

• "for the Thriller album" - it would probably be better to specify "for Jackson's Thriller album"

Done

Release and reception:

• "logged Jackson sixteen weeks at the top" - is this sixteen combined weeks?

Added 'combined' in

• "The song owed its UK success to an interview with McCartney" - this part was a little confusing. It took a little while to figure it out...was the song released, somewhat popular for a little while, decling in popularity, and then propelled to number two on the charts by McCartney's interview. If so, it would help to make the sequence a little more clear. As it is now, it kind of jumps around.

I've rearranged it

• "Top of the Pops—who usually only screened videos within the Top 40—" - a couple of things here. It seems a little strange to refer to the show as "who" instead of "which". It also looks really awkward to have a dash immediately before a comma. Perhaps parentheses could be used here: "Top of the Pops (who/which usually only screened videos within the Top 40), The Tube..."

Done

• "Entitled "Say Say Say (Waiting For U)", Hi-Tack, took the song..." - this has a misplaced modifier. I think what you want to say is "Hi-Tack took the song, entitled "Say Say Say (Waiting For U), to number four..."

Done

Music video:

• "Filmed in Santa Ynez Valley, California, McCartney had to" - this has another misplaced modifier. The video, not McCartney was filmed in Santa Ynez Valley. Perhaps "It was filmed in Santa Ynez Valley, California, and McCartney had to..."

Done

• "to an arm wrestle" - this is a bit awkward. I would say "to arm wrestle" or "to an arm wrestling match" (or arm wrestling contest)

Done

• "Upon Jackson winning the arm wrestle" - same thing here. What about "Upon Jackson winning the match" (or contest) or simply "Upon Jackson winning".

Done

• "earnt" - opinion is kind of split on this word. Some say it's not a word at all; others say it's just archaic. "earned" might be a better choice"

Done

• "the National Coalition of Television Violence classified the music video as too violent to be aired" - the description of the video doesn't sound violent at all. Am I missing something?

I think it was the arm wrestle that they felt was 'violent' :)

• "described the video as "anarchic caper" - an anarchic caper, perhaps?

Done

• "the music video turns "a pair of otherwise forgettable songs..." - which other song makes up this pair?

Added

Images:

• The main infobox image states that it is low resolution because it is less than 500 pixels. 225 pixels x 217 pixels is almost 49,000 pixels, however. I believe the image qualifies as fair use, but I think the "less than 500px." should be removed (unless I am misunderstanding something).

Removed that bit. Pyrrhus16 19:34, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

I will place this nomination on hold to allow for these concerns to be addressed and/or discussed. I have both the article and this review page on my watchlist, so any comments can be left here. As I said before, there are just a few minor concerns, so I hope to be able to promote this article soon. Best wishes, GaryColemanFan (talk) 15:12, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Everything looks good now, so I'm promoting the article. Thanks for the quick replies. GaryColemanFan (talk) 19:44, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks very much. Very helpful reviewer. :) Pyrrhus16 19:46, 22 March 2009 (UTC)