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Talk:Malaysia–Vietnam relations/GA2

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 00:47, 18 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I guess I'll review.

  • "dates back at least to the 15th century" - grammar wise, I think "to" should go before "at least" —  Done
  • "1990s. and later expanded" - while I agree that the sentence shouldn't be terribly long, you should find a way to rewrite this to reflect it's a new sentence, and not just a run-on. —  In progress  Done
This part is totally hard for me.. I just remove the sentence. — ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ʙᴏʀᴇᴅ ʜᴜʜ? 22:09, 19 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Does " Information Technology" need to be capitalized? —  Done
  • "Vietnam has an embassy in Kuala Lumpur, while Malaysia has an embassy in Hanoi" - should you clarify that both are the respective capitals of the other countries? —  In progress (actually I don't understand this, can you be more specifically)?  Done
  • Oh, just that it should be specified that Kuala Lumpur is the capital of Malaysia, and Hanoi is the capital of Vietnam. That's a pretty important fact, and isn't mentioned in the article. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 14:48, 18 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Both has an embassy located on each other capitals with Vietnam has an embassy in Kuala Lumpur, while Malaysia has an embassy in Hanoi and a consulate office in Ho Chi Minh City. " - poor grammar, specifically "has" (should be "have"), and the "with Vietnam..." part doesn't work. Add a comma after capitals, and find a way to make it flow better. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 19:45, 18 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Ok, rewording a bit.. Is it ok now? — ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ʙᴏʀᴇᴅ ʜᴜʜ? 22:09, 19 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Ho Chi Minh city" - capitalize "City"? —  Done
  • " Tonkinese soldiers" - err, what is this? There's no link or anything. Also, "Malaccan" in that sentence should be linked there, not on its second use. —  Done
  • "The Cham vassal state at Panduranga and Kelantan also cultivated close diplomatic ties especially during the reign of the Champa's Po Rome in the mid 17th-century when he led a long-term diplomatic mission to Kelantan in order to learn more about Malay culture and Islam." - bit long here. Could you restructure a bit? —  Done, rewording
  • Add comma after "Po Saut" —  Done
  • Make sure you link "Junk (ship)" —  Done
  • "Not long after the establishment of Penang as a port at the end of the 18th century, Vietnam junks began to visit Penang for trade at the instruction of the Vietnamese emperor in Hue" - who established it? The British? Also, no need to say Penang twice. —  Done
  • "A few had also settled down and assimilated with the local Chinese" - "few" is a weasel word. Find a way to avoid saying that (or "some" likewise) —  Done
  • "In the late 1920s and early 1930s, Ho Chi Minh played a key role in facilitating the formation of the Nanyang Communist Party (later renamed as the Malayan Communist Party; MCP) in the 1920 and early 1930s" - redundancy —  Done
  • Were either Malaysia or Vietnam invaded by Japan in WW2? If so, shouldn't that be mentioned? —  In progress  Done
  • "before a period of significant decrease from 1984 to 1986," - did you mean to have the comma here and add something? Or should this be a period. —  Done
  • "Members countries of ASEAN voiced their displeasure at the Vietnamese government for turning a blind eye on Vietnamese refugees from leaving Vietnam at a summit in June 1987" - try finding a way to avoid saying one of these "Vietnam"s —  Done
  • "A year later in August 1988, Malaysia and Vietnam jointly formulated an involuntary repatriation whereby Vietnamese refugees would be persuaded to return home in 1988." - again, no need to say the year twice in the same sentence. —  Done
  • "UNHCR" - what is this? —  Done
  • "The process involved thorough background checks on refugees before a decision would be made if they are qualified for refugee status" - this could be cleaner. Perhaps - "The process involved thorough background checks on refugees to determine if they qualify for such status..." Much simpler, much shorter, easier on the eyes. (and then you can add the last little bit about western countries) —  Done
  • "refugees to qualify for refugee status" - pronouns are friends, not food :D —  Done
  • "As Vietnam began to witness economic growth in the early 1990s, the number of refugee arrivals also quickly dropped in the early 1990s." - So... refugee arrivals in Malaysia? Or refugees who returned to Vietnam? I'm confused. —  Done
  • "by which time Malaya had become Malaysia" - was it a simple renaming? If so, I'd say "by which time Malaya was renamed Malaysia." —  Done
  • "In February 2013, the Vietnamese embassy secured the purchase of 0.69 hectares of land in Precinct 15, Putrajaya that would be used for the construction and subsequent relocation of the Vietnamese embassy." - any update about this? —  In progress (Didn't found any update about this)  Done
  • "both countries dabbled on the idea of joint oil and gas exploration" - don't think "dabbled" is the most encyclopediac word here —  Done

All in all, the article looks pretty solid. Most of the above is fairly small, and could be fixed without too much work. I'll put it on hold :) ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 00:47, 18 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Hurricanhink, can I help here? Seems the nominator didn't active at the moment. Btw, I have fix some of it. Cheers! :) — ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ʙᴏʀᴇᴅ ʜᴜʜ? 09:13, 18 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Awesome, thanks for the fixes. Just let me know when you get the last of it (you said some stuff was in progress). Everything looks good so far ^_^ ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 14:48, 18 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
No problem, thank you also for reviewing this article. I think all the problems has been solved now. — ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ʙᴏʀᴇᴅ ʜᴜʜ? 16:50, 18 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Alright, just a few last things. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 19:45, 18 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
What do you think now? The first part seems hard for me, just fix it if you have a better suggestion.. X_X — ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ʙᴏʀᴇᴅ ʜᴜʜ? 22:09, 19 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
That works now. I just did one last tweak. Glad to pass now! ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:51, 20 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Yay, congrats to Mr Tan for his lots effort on writing this article and thank you to Hurricanehink too for take a time to reviewing this! — ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ʙᴏʀᴇᴅ ʜᴜʜ? 17:20, 20 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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