Talk:Battle of the Bagradas River (240 BC)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Battle of the Bagradas River (c. 240 BC)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 15:54, 30 October 2020 (UTC)

Lead

• "and a camp guarding the only bridge over the lower the Bagradas River marched towards the" - Looks like there's an extra "the" in here

You had me baffled there, but I think that Harrias has copy edited it.

• The aftermath section isn't really summarized in the lead

Added.

Battle

• Twice in the article you use the form River Bagradas, as opposed to several more than that for Bagradas River. I'd recommend consistency with naming here.

Done, cus I like to make you happy. But why? Actually, Harrias has already standardised this.

• Link Balearic Islands

Harrias.

• "Both armies are likely to have been composed of similar types and proportions of troops, except that the rebels lacked elephants." - Citation needed

Deleted. (If I find the source again I will reinstate it and ping you.)

• No need to link Polybius twice

Harrias?

• "As the cavalry and then the elephants came closer to the infantry Hasdrubal ordered each in turn to also wheel about to face the rebels" - And this is the first we hear of Hasdrubal in this article. We need a link and a brief introduction; I almost wonder if it would be better to mention him earlier and do the link/introduction there

I had just been reading your review of Hasdrubal and typed his name instead of Hamilcar's. Corrected. All those H's!

Aftermath

• "While Hanno manoeuvred against Matho to the north near Hippo" - I thought the spelling was Mathos

The sources are split, and the one I was referring to at the time uses Matho. Sorry. Now standardised, courtesy of Harrias.

• In the lead you use the form north-east, while here you use the form south west. I think maybe it's best to stick with either the hyphenated form or the two word form.

I don't hyphenate directions. But when using them, or any other words, as compound modifiers I am required by the rules of grammar to hyphenate them. I realise that it looks inconsistent, but blame the English language, not me.

External links

• Is this empty section really necessary?

No. Removed.

Infobox

• Per MOS:SEASONS, don't use "Autumn" in this context. Also, I'm not seeing where the season is cited in the body, anyway.

Done.

That's about it for the GA level, I think. Good work. Hog Farm _Bacon 16:45, 30 October 2020 (UTC)

Thanks Hog Farm, I have done what bits Harrias has left me. Gog the Mild (talk) 21:34, 30 October 2020 (UTC)

Passing. It must be confusing when you see a different revision than the one I did. Hog Farm _Bacon 21:44, 30 October 2020 (UTC)

Should the c. be in the article title, since it seems to reasonably sure that it was in 240 BC? I'd recommend thinking about this before listing this one at a higher level, as the more levels it goes through, the more of a mess repeated page moves makes. Learned that lesson from Landis's Missouri Battery, which I think I've moved four or five times. Hog Farm _Bacon 21:47, 30 October 2020 (UTC)

Hog Farm: not IMO, but I tend to pay even less attention to titles than to categories. I once had an article at FAC have its name changed twice during the process. I just cracked on, although I gather that the FAC coordinators weren't amused. I'll change this one now. Or you could have done - this is Wikipedia.

And very many thanks for the speedy turnaround. Before I posted this one I was 2 points behind in the WikiCup. It's gonna be tight! Gog the Mild (talk) 22:15, 30 October 2020 (UTC)

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