Talk:Amago Kunihisa

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Untitled

The English on this entry is bad enough that it needs a person who understands the subject matter better to go over it. Also it is not complete.

I'm willing to help out if the original author wants me to and will help.

Key issues:

1. Need a quick introduction. For example, I'm guessing he was a Japanese clan / war leader but this is not mentioned. What is his historical significance?

2. "He had been called "On the military matters, he is like a kami and a oni" from his father, Tsunehisa". I think this should be "Kunihisa's father, Tsunehisa, said of him "On military matters, he is like a kami and a oni"". Please confirm.

3. "But he often looked down on those who did not do well on the battlefield and was obnoxious from time to time." This is stylistically poor. Maybe we can get some details to help recast it?

4. "The death of Kunihisa and the purge of his faction significantly damaged Amago clan and turned the balance against Mori clan in Mori's favor." I think this is supposed to mean that his death improved the situation of Mori's clan but that is not at all clear - "turned the balance against Mori clan" means made things bad for the Mori clan.

I agree, this needs work. As to point #4 above. as I understood it the purge of the Amago supporters turned the balance towards the Mōri clan. But maybe the idiom of the teeter-totter is different in Japanese. Or was there a backlash from the purge that made it worse for the Mōri? --Bejnar (talk) 07:59, 25 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]