This is the current revision of this page, as edited by Cewbot(talk | contribs) at 08:02, 13 January 2024(Maintain {{WPBS}} and vital articles: 4 WikiProject templates. Keep majority rating "Start" in {{WPBS}}. Remove 4 same ratings as {{WPBS}} in {{WikiProject Addictions and recovery}}, {{WikiProject Psychology}}, {{WikiProject Health and fitness}}, {{WikiProject Medicine}}.). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this version.
Revision as of 08:02, 13 January 2024 by Cewbot(talk | contribs)(Maintain {{WPBS}} and vital articles: 4 WikiProject templates. Keep majority rating "Start" in {{WPBS}}. Remove 4 same ratings as {{WPBS}} in {{WikiProject Addictions and recovery}}, {{WikiProject Psychology}}, {{WikiProject Health and fitness}}, {{WikiProject Medicine}}.)
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The Lead section and history were thoroughly edited and are suitable for an encyclopedia, but the content section largely consists of two lists copied from the (public domain) SAMHSA website. I welcome revisions to improve this poor style. Sondra.kinsey (talk) 12:20, 24 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
I'm sure the copy-editing helped greatly, but the lead section still needs work. For example the first sentence (always a challenge) currently reads: "Whole Health Action Management (WHAM) is a peer-led intervention to facilitate self-management to reach whole health goals through peer coaching and support groups." This says "A is .. to facilitate B / to reach C "goals" / through D mechanisms. Each of the "to..." parts names a goal: so which one is it? And the C part actually says there are "goals", which one might have thought B and C were about: perhaps B is a means of reaching C, but what C is, is not stated. And D seems to be a means of reaching B and then C also. As for the wording, "peer" is mentioned twice, and implied in "self-management". In short, it's a traincrash of a sentence. The second and third sentences are no better, and indeed they state further goals: "It is a method of using E (ah, peers again) to F, and to G such as X, Y, and Z. The CHIS developed WHAM to encourage H, I, and J of K and L among people with conditions P, Q, and R." It might be best to start over. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:17, 24 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]
The WHAM literature repeatedly claims that the 10 whole health and resiliency factors (listed in the article) were developed by the Benson-Henry Institute for Mind Body Medicine. I have not been able to find a source for these factors outside the WHAM literature, so I have not included it in the article. However, that should be mentioned if it can be verified. Sondra.kinsey (talk) 12:20, 24 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Sondra.kinsey, I reviewed the the GAN, but for some reason Legobot has not informed you. I failed it because I felt it was a long way from meeting the critera on MOS and depth. There was also concern about copying: part of the lede appeared to be copied from a source that was hosted on a copyrighted website that did not contain copyright information. TonyBallioni (talk) 20:13, 15 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@TonyBallioni: I wish I could review the text in question more closely, but the history has been erased preventing a careful review. However, the document you mentioned in the edit summary was written and published by SAMHSA, a federal agency, so I would have thought the work is in the public domain as a government document. Are you sure it was a copyright violation? Sondra.kinsey (talk) 23:18, 15 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Sondra.kinsey, if that is the case, then it would be in the public domain. it was not clear from the text of the document that it was a government created piece nor did it mention the licensing status. If it is a work of the United States Federal Government, it can be restored by Diannaa or another admin. TonyBallioni (talk) 23:21, 15 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Not a problem, the first article is a tough one and there is always room for growth. Sorry again about any confusion on the potential copyright removal, it was not clear immediately that the work was one of the US Federal Government and since part of the text was outside of quotes and there was no mention of license, I removed it. TonyBallioni (talk) 23:50, 15 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Saw the discussion and thought I would show you the template I use:
I have restored the material as it was published by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, which is an agency of the US Government. Sorry for the mistake. The template I use is {{PD-notice}}. — Diannaa🍁 (talk) 12:13, 16 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]